Going through some previous posts that I had written, I came across this one and decided to re-post. 

I remember reading an article from  ”The Daily Telegraph” newspaper a few months ago that prompted me to write today’s posting.

This article was about a mother who was standing over her children watching them painstakingly writing “thank you” letters and complaining that they had to do and the fact they had missed their television programme. Does this ring any bells!

I remember from a very early age having to write “thank you” letters from presents received at Birthdays, Easter and Christmas and getting so stroppy as I had to write these letters.  I was not allowed to do anything else until these were done and trust me if my handwriting wasn’t perfect then my parents made me do them all over again - boy how I hated doing this and resented this every time.  Now I am so pleased that my parents made me do this “resentful” task.

Now it is much easier, as there is the telephone, internet cards and packs of “thank you” cards that you can buy in the stores.  I do still think though that writing your own “thank you” cards/notes adds a much more personal touch………though I have to say that I am guilty of not doing this nearly as often as I should and I tend to pick up the phone as it is so much easier nowadays to do this but I do intend in getting back to the art of saying thank you properly.

I have also noticed that children especially growing up in today’s world do not have the same values installed in them that our parents installed in us - and it is such a shame.  This is particularly relevant in today’s secular world.

We (myself included here) need to get back to the art of saying “Thank You” properly and installing this lost art back into our children’s lives too.

Please check out Forward To The Past for previous post.  The note below is from Morley's wife Esther and this couple & their family still need your prayers please - but it would be so good if this wasn't cancer but just inflammation:  The note below was posted from Esther yesterday.

Thank you for praying :)

"Update on Morley

I am so tired right now I can hardly keep my eyes open, so I'm off to bed after I post this.

Morley had a biopsy done this morning. The doctor put him under so she could get a 'big chunk' as she said. And she told me, IT MAY NOT BE CANCER! We won't know for sure till we get the test results back, in another week or two, but she said it looks like it's just inflamation. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, because I know it could still come back as positive, but, I am praising God for even this hope!

She kept Morley in overnight, so I'll have to go back tomorrow and bring him home. I was at the hospital with him all day and part of the night.

It has been hard this past two weeks. But God has been with us and I know the prayers of everybody have helped.

I have just come across the most incredible blog - to be honest in some ways visiting this blog is like travelling back in time to the “Little House On The Prairie” Era.  This blog is about a family of twelve (ten children - nine children still living at home).

With the vast amount of photos included - this author makes you feel as if you are actually there with them.  I am just overawed to be honest.  This family’s lifestyle is very simple, the clothes I just absolutely adore. 

Reading through this blog - you can just feel the presence of The Lord very strongly.  I thoroughly recommend you go and visit Eyes Of Wonder.

I just love the simplicity of this family as I said earlier in this post.  I have also come across other families who lead very simple lifestyles, lifestyles that they feel led to live by Our Precious Father - one of these families are very special friends of mine.  I have to say that I have learn’t so much through their obedience and selfless living, to live a life that they have been called to live through The Lord.  Yes, I am still learning through them and other’s too. 

Too me and I am sure to many others, it is obvious that they are different. This shows not only from the inside but from the outside too. Their way of living & how they dress  etc shines through big time & reflects the fact that they are in this world but not part of it.

Please note: I am not saying that we should all live our lives this way as we are all different and serve Our Father as we feel led too - I just needed to say this in case my post was taken the wrong way

A crown of beauty,

A thorn of ashes

I have loved You,

With an everlasting love

A sister of mercy

A daughter of grace

I created you to be

All That I want you to be

A precious jewel

A work of art

All that I give you

Is all that I have

A gentle spirit

A heart so pure

Full of tenderness and

Filled with love

Through times of pain

Loneliness, despair

Your spirit wounded, crushed

Broken beyond repair

I will wipe away your tears

Take away your fears

Pick you up and carry you through

And give you back joy in all that you do

For I am Your Father, Husband & Friend

Who will be with You right to the end

For I created you in my sight

I am the reflector of your life

Copyright Page: Nov 2005

Please can you pray.  I have friends in Canada who are very dear to me.  Esther & her DH Morley - Esther's husband was diagnosed with throat cancer earlier this week.  He has a big mass at the back of his throat, they don't know what type of cancer it is.  They have just an hour ago been called back to see the consultant which is an hour's drive if not longer from their home town.  It is possible more results are in.  Esther whom I spoke to just now soun sounded so flat on the telephone :(

They have six children under the age of fourteen, their youngest child is around four - five years old.  Morley & Esther are very very strong Christians and their oldest son also gave his life to the Lord last year (he is either thirteen or fourteen now).  Morley is a fantastic witness for the Lord and witnesses to people everywhere - even when he received the results earlier this week that it is cancer, he was still witnessing to people in hospital. 

Please can you pray for Morley's healing & for peace for Morley, Esther & their family.  Please can you pray that all anxieties are taken away especially as they begin the long drive shortly back to see the consultant.

Prayer for finances is also needed as Esther does not work (up until recently their children were home-schooled) and Morley does not get paid when he doesn't work - can you please pray that their financial needs are met too.

Thank you so much - my heart goes out to them right now big time - like this dear family, I can pray and leave them with the Lord.

On Thursday, DH & I decided to go to Windsor for the day - this is only about 40 minutes away from where we live.  The weather wasn't brilliant but it was still a lovely day out.  We didn't go inside Windsor Castle (that will be for another day).  DH has not been to Windsor for around 20 years & I haven't been for about 10 years - quite a lot has changed regarding the town.

Here are some photos:

On the way to & back from Windsor - we drove through Windsor Great Park, the colours of the trees was just absolutely stunning.  I wish we could have stopped so I could have taken more photos of the tree so you could see what I mean. Here are a couple of photos:

This morning, I made a pineapple upside down cake (DH loves this cake), two mincemeat cakes plus pumpkin soup. This is the first time I have made the soup and it is quite yummy :)

This afternoon I am working and then the evening will be spent chilling out.  Tomorrow is church and DH is cooking a roast beef dinner (that's tomorrow :) ).

Have a wonderful blessed weekend :)

 I forgot ...............to add this house/shop - can you see how it is leaning to one side!

Just a thought, what do you think about doing a Christmas card exchange on Homestead Blogger.  We could send cards to each other and if you are in favour of this idea then I could get a list together for those of us who would like to do this.

What do you think?

Barack Obama is not even in power yet and look what is happening on here, all of a sudden today HB seems to like a battle zone. This should not be so and we all have different views, but should we be attacking one another like this, no we shouldn't. 

Should we be leaving HB because we have different views - no

Please can I ask that we think about what we are doing and what we are saying.  This is a blog not a "cattle market" .  I am already upset because one friend is leaving and then I read that someone else may be leaving.......

Please can we just get back to how we were.  HB was doing so well for a long time and then suddenly Barack Obama has only been elected president today and look what is happening.  We need to keep our eyes on the Lord and not on man..................

This is short but after reading some of the blogs on here and the division that seems to be happening, I felt the need to say something.

Do you know what, I think personally we all need a big Homestead Blogger Group hug.............:)

My DH loves teasing Bizkit, he folds back her ears, keeps tickling her and yes she does bit/scratch him back - why am I not surprised :lol

Anyways DH calls me upstairs and this is what I find: - what next! *sigh*

I hope you are all having a blessed day. 

Tomorrow night I will be watching the elections closely but I have discovered we are unable to get Fox News so hopefully this should be covered by CNN.  I must admit that I am becoming a little concerned that Obama is going to get in..........which will not be good news at all..........................but then again, as I saw an entry on Candy's blog this could be when "the game is over"....................

These could be very exciting times ahead in more ways than one!

Jocelyn over at A Pondering Heart is in the process of designing a new blog for me.  This will still be under the name of Forward to the past but  this will be a totally new blog. I also have my own website now which will coincide with my Homestead Blog too. 

Jocelyn bless her, is working so hard on my new blog and she is brilliant.  I will let you all know when the new blog is up and running as this one will become void.

I pray everyone has a blessed weekend :)

First of all, a huge thank you does not seem enough for all the encouraging comments, prayers and messages I received - this I was not expecting.  I am sending huge hugs & thank you's over the internet.

Tuesday, Andrew came home from work with two gifts for me :)

A beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bar of my favourite milk chocolate.  We actually apologised to each other for all that had happened over the weekend and Andrew still felt quite low for the remainder of Tuesday with all that had happened. We did talk for a bit and just spent time with one another.

Can I just say here that with all the many differences between us & this includes us having very little in common as well - that my DH is and has been an absolute brick and he is solid.  Everyone that I have spoken to over the months including a mutual long term friend of ours speaks so highly of Andrew saying that he is a lovely guy. He may be quiet but he has a heart of gold - and this is true.  My DH has put up with so much from me and he is still here, anyone else would have walked away by now.  With the many many mood swings & hormonal issues I have, DH many times does not whether he is coming or going with me when I have all the above issues going on.  I never know when the hormonal stuff is going to hit especially as my menstrual cycles are becoming more frequent and lasting longer.  I guess I should really take control here and ask for the Lord's help especially when the mood swings hit.  At times I do ask but not enough.  I am like a different person at times, it is horrible.

All this started about four years ago, when the above would go on for months at a time, stop for a few months and then start again. I actually had a break for almost 8 months up until last October when this has been going on solidly for a whole year. 

When I receive the results of the letter stating what has been found, I will see if this stops.  I am also going to start taking Kombucha every day (still haven't started this) and go from there.  I started keeping a diary from December last year and still keeping this up to date now.  If nothing changes then I have an option of having the lining of my womb removed (but I have been told this may not make a great deal of difference especially with my mood swings). 

The last resort is a hysterectomy which I would consider but do you know what I feel guilty for considering this.  Why? I keep asking myself do I have the right to dictate what I do to my body? Do I have the right to take away a part of my body which the Lord gave to me in the first place? I have spoken to a good friend of mine who is my spiritual mum. I can't recall the exact words that this friend said, but it was along the lines of God gave us doctors & consultants to deal with health issues and to make us well.  She has had friends who have had to go down this road and this has totally changed their lives for the better.  This friend also stated that God has given us grace and done away with legalism (sorry I just can't remember her exact words - but she is a very strong Christian friend of mine). I don't believe that my questions above have anything to do with legalism but it is with doing what I feel the Lord would have me do especially in regards to my health.  Andrew & I can not carry on like this and I certainly can't. Either I keep believing for the Lord to do a miracle here (I know He can do this) but also all this constant bleeding must be taking its toll on my body.................ok, the fibroids have been removed and this could be all that is needed to return my body back to normal but two doctors/consultants I spoke to did not believe that removing the fibroids would make any difference! 

I guess I am also tired of feeling constantly tired, drained and so often bursting into tears for no particular reason - even when walking down the high street at times this has happened, so embarrassing..........................hey ho sorry, I know I am complaining and I shouldn't............

I have so much to be thankful for and especially a very forgiving, gentle, patient, loving, caring and one very very supportive husband............................I complain and nag him at times but then I need to take a step back and look at all the positive's sides that my husband has which really do far outweigh the negative sides...........I just need to learn that I must continue looking at him positively especially when I can feel myself reacting at a lot of the times stupid little things. 

As most of you know marriage is hard work and I guess in four months we have been through so so much but this will only make us stronger in the end.

Thank you all so much again and please if you wouldn't mind, if you can continue to pray if that is ok.......

I wasnt going to write this entry but I need prayers big time.  After my operation on Friday I just feel so emotionally & physically drained and constantly in tears. DH & I are fighting big time and things become really bad yesterday and I mean really bad - basically our marrige is literally hanging on by a thread.  There have been so many things going on and I am largely at fault.  A lot of things have "reared their ugly head" so to speak and my behaviour has been beyond appalling.

The way things are our marriage is going to need a lot of hard work and prayer. We are attending family therapy tomorrow. Both hubby and I are suffering big time.  I am not eating properly either and not coping at all.  With all the hormonal stuff going on, I just feel at breaking point. 

I need more than ever to get my act together and I need to get my act together with the Lord right now more than ever.

I don't normally right posts that are this negative but I just feel so alone, ashamed and yesterday do you know I actually wanted to die - I hate to admit this but it is true. When it gets to the point that Andrew has to lock away my medication that is not good.   I won't be surprised and probably deserve to lose friendships through this post.  I have never been this negative but this is why I need to rely on the Lord.  Too many pressures and situations have taken their toll over these last few months and I have just lost my direction. 

I am really sorry for the extreme negativity of this post but I just badly need to cry out.  I have cried out to the Lord this afternoon and my attitudes and behaviour needs to be changed big time.  I have issues that need and are going to be dealt with right now.  My heart needs to be changed so much.

Only I with the help of the Lord (crying out to Him more than I am doing at present is so difficult), I just feel so helpless and unworthy - it is horrible.  As I said my being this negative online has never been this bad.  I know that at the end of the tunnel there is light.  I keep getting this picture which I have had so many times, of my being in a dark tunnel and there seems no way out.  At the end of the tunnel is the Lord, and I keeep stumbling towards the light of Him and as I get closer and closer to Him, I can see His arrms stretched out and I literally fall into those arms.  I need to keep hold of this picture and do my best to get myself back on track and to get our marriage back on track. 

Being a Christian I really need to have the light of the Lord in me and for people to see this, like I am now - that is not happening. 

I have such a learning curve to deal with.  Please forgive me for this post but I just needed to pour my heart out in some ways.

I am really sorry :(

Hey Amanda, A very Happy Birthday to you - wow 19 years old - quite the young lady now.

Please join me in wishing Amanda over at The Daily Planet, a very happy birthday.  This young lady is a very Godly young woman who loves the Lord with all her heart. Amanda is very much grounded in her love for Jesus and that is obvious.  She is articulate & a very talented young lady gifted in so many areas.  She is a real joy to know & has become a very special friend. 

I have had the greatest joy in getting to know Amanda  & her family over the past 12 - 18 months and they are a super duper family in every way....

Have a wonderful, fun & a very blessed birthday Amanda :)

Thank you so much for your prayers for Biz . The tablets seem to be working and Biz appears to be getting better and getting back to her old self which is good news. Thank you all

I am going into hospital on Friday for an operation to remove the fibroids in my womb - nothing major but I may be having the lining of my womb removed as well so that I don't get any more periods but I am not sure I am too happy with this.

I may just ask to have the fibroids removed and see if this helps my hormones. There was a suggestion about having a coil fitted but I am not happy about this at all and have heard so many bad reports.............not an option.

I am praying that I don't have to go down the road of having a hysterectomy but if this operation does not work then this may unfortunately be something I may have to consider.

The hormonal problems and bleeding has been going on for 12 months now and can't continue.

I have my pre-op tomorrow and Andrews mum is taking me in for this. Friday I have to be in for 7am. Andrew has managed to take two days off work at such short notice. He is taking Friday and Saturday off.
The operation has been brought forward from December to now.

****I have some more photos to put up but this may not be until at least Sunday now. Some of these are of Kirsty a King Charles Spaniel that Andrew's mum looks after from time to time. She is such a gorgeous dog as you will see when I post the photos of her.

 
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We took Biz to the vets this afternoon and she is very sore around her bottom area (pls excuse me), but the vet couldn't examine her thoroughly as Biz was meowing so much. She bit and dug her claws deep into Andrew at the vets so the vet had to get one of her assistants to help her in another room and we could here Biz from where we were. Anyways, she is on anti-biotics and if there is no improvement by Thursday, we will need to take her back to the vets where she will need to be sedated and examed thoroughly plus some tests run. They also found some blood and protein in her urine hence the possible infection as well.

She has settled down a little now but is not happy with either Andrew or myself.

When we borrowed the cat basket from a friend last night, Biz has been looking at it with "daggers" in her eyes, she was not happy. When we put her in (or rather Andrew did, she was hissing but in the car on the way to the vets (a good 5 miles), we have never heard her meow so much and it was awful bless her

We just pray that she recovers quickly.

Here are three photos taken of her Saturday evening where she seemed ok if not a bit quiet.

I am working this morning and really should be going through a pile of paperwork but on the internet instead :(.

 This afternoon:

 v     I need to put oven cleaner in the oven, this is one I have not tried but it is very strong apparently. I will probably leave it overnight.

 v     Make yoghurt

 v     Make a chicken tikka masala so it can marinade overnight.

 v     Make an apple crumble (I may add rhubarb & raspberries to this)

 v     Figure out what I am going to make for dinner Sunday as this needs to be prepared and cooked tomorrow

 v     Somewhere in between the above have lunch

 v     Clean the kitchen - Fridays are my day for doing this.

 v     Ironing if I have time

 v     Put lining paper on the pantry shelves

 That is it for today which is quite enough. I just need to make sure that I don’t dilly dally in town for very long.

 ****Sundays****

I have decided that I am not (where possible) going to cook on a Sunday but I will prepare this meal on Saturdays. All I will need to do is heat the meal through on the Sunday.  Breakfasts & lunches I will make sure are pre-pared too.  Sundays I have decided are to be a day of rest as much as possible.  This day like every other day is the Lord's day but I have decided that I will do very little in the way of chores and cooking.......

I went downstairs last night to put the laundry into the laundry basket and this is what I found :lol

She is so cute and I didn't have the heart to turf her out out the laundry basket - bless her.

My weight has ballooned big time in the last few weeks and even though some of this is due to one of the meds I am taking which I know, even so my appetite has increased a lot.  I am now down to two skirts, one of which I can barely do up which is not good.  DH has also noticed the increase and even though he still loves me the way I am has admitted this evening that he prefers me the weight I was last year when we met up again.

When we first met all those years ago, I was between a size 4 - size 6 and was told recently that I was a little bit "too much on the skinny side" whereas the weight I am or was a few weeks ago suits me much better.   I have to say I disagree big time and prefer being down a size 10 at least (these are American dress sizes by the way!).

I did go on the Atkins diet three years ago and lost 2 stones in about 4 - 6 months which was a lot and I can not even bare to think about going back on this diet, besides which it is not exactly the healthiest of diets............

I am not planning on dieting but cutting out sugar as much as possible, breads carbs to a sensible degree and cutting out coffee now for sure.  I am feeling tired again, headaches, my skin is appalling and I am just getting so many spots it is not good.  I drastically need to do something and so that is my decision.

A friend is doing a master cleanse but that I could not face so I am just going to do my best to be sensible.  I do plan on starting my days from tomorrow with hot water and lemon and to drink water and herbal teas now for the foreseable future.  Eating fruit, salads, vegetables, meats plus some carbohydrates but not as much as I have been.  I am also going to start taking 1/2 teaspoon of honey before each meal too. I also have kombucha so I will start drinking that plus mate that I have.

So tomorrow I am going to start keeping a journal but this time I want to stick to it and get my weight down.  Oh, and also the "E" word needs to start to be kicked into place - meaning Exercose with a capital E.......................

I would love to have a mentor whilst doing this so any volunteers please????????????

I have absolutely no intention of going out to buy clothes the next size up so from tomorrow is going to be the start of a new healthier lifestyle.............................

Yesterday I cleared out the cupboard under the stairs which is now practically empty.  The items that were in there (the cupboard was full), have either been put  in the shed (which includes Andrew's golf clubs which could have gone back in the cupboard but hey ho), in the bin or in DH car to go to one of the charity shops in our town.  Some of the other items have also gone into my office which needs to be re-arranged big time now :lol

Tomorrow I will hoover out the cupboard and clean the shelves down.  I need to look for some paper to cover the shelves with so I will pop into town tomorrow and have a look around.  This cupboard will be used as my pantry area for all the canning/bottling I have done and I think I will probably put the tinned foods in there too.  I will also be storing the Ironing board, iron, cat food etc.  I will take a photo when the cupboard is sorted!

Last night I made some chocolate truffles and coated them today in cocoa powder, I am not totally happy with them so will do another practice run before making some for Christmas presents.

Saturday I threw out my two pairs of jeans that I owned but I am sure I have a black pair somewhere that also need to be thrown out.  I need to go and look now for long skirts for the colder months. I will also probably purchase some leggings to wear underneath skirts/dresses for the colder weather.  I will do another post in regards to Feminine Modesty again probably.  I don't wear trousers and have only ever owned one smart pair for work. 

I hope everyone has a blessed afternoon & evening :)