Which End is Up?

Peas....and Thank You!

Just a suggestion

{ 12:24, Friday, January 12, 2007 } { Posted by mejerrymouse }

Here's something that a friend recommended to me which his parents did when he was growing up and has worked for us:

Simply inform your child that he/she will be eating whatever it is for the next meal--do not allow the child to have anything else to eat until that meal is gone--no snacks or anything. We do make some (very few) exceptions for things that we know aren't most children's favorites (i.e. red sauce--we just let them have their meal w/ butter--we also make them taste it again each time). However, we are not in the habit of allowing our children to choose what they want to eat. J.C. Ryle gives great instruction in "The Duties of Parents":

"If, then, you would deal wisely with your child, you must not leave him to the guidance of his own will. Think for him, judge for him, act for him, just as you would for one weak and blind; but for pity's sake, give him not up to his own wayward tastes and inclinations. It must not be his likings and wishes that are consulted. He knows not yet what is good for his mind and soul, any more than what is good for his body. You do not let him decide what he shall eat, and what he shall drink, and how he shall be clothed. Be consistent, and deal with his mind in the like manner. Train him in the way that is scriptural and right, and not in the way that he fancies."

As per what is scriptural and right? I would say there are two topics which could be addressed--one being thankfulness and the other doing everything without grumbling and arguing/disputing/complaining (depending on translation--Philippians 2:14). Children are master manipulators--your goal is to enable them to see their sin that theymight recognize their need for a Savior. Be encouraged--if you are consistent--this behavior will not last too long and you can have a peaceful meal again! :D

Elizabeth

Untitled Comment

{ 07:18, Friday, January 12, 2007 } { Posted by morningsunshine }

here are our thoughts on the matter (ds5 and dd3)
1) kids are still more in tune with their body signals, ie: they know when they are full, so forcing them to eat everything you put on their plate is teaching them to ignore body signals - one of the reasons experts think causes obesity
2) kids can go for a few days refusing food and not suffer too much
3) kids likes and dislikes change, as we jokingly say around here "based on the alignment of the stars, the day of the week, the stage of the moon and the weather!" (ie - completely random and unpredictable)
4) it takes, "they" say, about 15 tries of a new food before you like it.
5) fighting about food can cause lifetime dislikes about food - my mil made her kids sit at the table ONE TIME and finish their pea soup... to this day not a one of her 7 will even think about pea soup....
6) the "you have to have one bite" rule caused gagging and at-will throwing-up

so, our solution is
1) that they have to have TWO bites --- for some reason, knowing that he has to have two bites means that the gagging isn't worth the trouble and a serious "try" (one bite you can swallow without really tasting, but two, means you taste it) can accustom them to the flavor --- only 14 times more to go! lol
2) they can have a "chaser" to help wash it down - ie a bite of bread to follow the beans, etc.
3) after 2 bites, they can eat or not eat what is on the table, as they like. this part is important - it means that you do NOT harrass them anymore about the beans and maybe give a reasonable alternative, ie peanut butter on her roll or butter on the pasta - nothing that creates more work for you, but helps her have a not-empty tummy (which at my house means cranky children)

ds5 knows that he has to have 2 bites of everthing before he can say he doesn't like it. also kind of helpful if you make something new that you know she will like, has never had before, and looks kinda strange/scary/yucky. then when she has had her two bites, likes it, and eats a full serving, you can refer back to it at another time "well you said you didn't like X until you tried it, and now you love it... try this and see."
anyway just what we have done... and ds5, actually ate the bean chili I made last time!