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I wonder ....

• Thursday, June 12, 2008 - Survival mode

Lupus, CFS, EBV, Sjogren's, Arthritis, FM .... all in full force. Living & parenting from the couch .... not easy!!! This too shall pass!!!

The last time I was this sick was 9 years ago .... it lasted 2 years. I can not afford to be sick for *that* long!!!

I know that being sick is not my *fault* ..... but not being able to function as the wife & mom I need to be, makes me feel like a failure!
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• Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - that's a long list!

Posted by Illoura
Oh I really feel for you! I have a few of those myself, and when some symptoms come on I have to fight that fear and dread of knowing it runs a course on it's own time table.
I don't know how functional you feel, but you seem to be thinking clearly, and that's a plus! (No one is going to get away with getting lazy, LOL)
There are really a few things about your life that make it favorable to have a short duration or at least a milder 'attack' of the conditions you're suffering: one factor is having so many helping hands, so many joyously impulsive creative laughing kids! Another of course is having something wonderful to look forward to (your homesteading agenda/life), and of course, having a supportive husband.
I know that doesn't make everything better, but it's more conducive to healing in general (as laughing is)...
When I've been really really sick/down, I start collecting articles and pictures from magazines and the internet- of things I want to try or do when I'm better.
I'm sure it's not comfortable for you to have to delegate chores you are used to doing, but your family knows the situation- and they now have you as a 'captive audience' - lucky them, haha... so don't feel guilty.
My only real advice to getting thru this hard time is to smile even when you don't feel like it- greet everyone with a smile at least once a day - it's as good for you as for them.

Are there any specific challenges you're facing that are problematic- that anyone might help find solutions for?

Hoping and praying this whole thing is of the shortest possible duration and becomes more mild in it's tortures each day.
-Illoura

*PS I had to look EVB up!
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• Friday, June 20, 2008 - Lupus

Posted by mequit73
I, too, have Lupus and struggle the most with the flares that leave me flat on my back aching every where feeling like a zombie. I am so sorry to hear there are others out there like me. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I remember going through those same feelings of feeling like a failure. Though, eventually I came to realize that if I took care of myself I WOULD be taking care of everyone else.

So, just take it easy and get yourself better. You're right, it will pass. I'm sure the stress of house hunting is not helping your plight. At least, stress never helps me. You need to have the same level of compassion for yourself you do for your children!

Take care of yourself and the other things will take care of themselves. I hope you are feeling better soon.
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About Me

We are a family of 9 right now. Our dreams of homesteading have taken flight .... even if the plane is still sitting on the runway, at least we have flight plans. We home school, home church and run home businesses. Our favorite thing to do is spend time together <GASP> Yes, we actually enjoy each others company. Some times we just sit, chatting ... other times we're watching the races ..... at times we're reading books ..... and other times we're just playing with what ever we can find. This blog will be used to keep track of the journey we're on .... the journey of life ... I'll post about many things .... like ....... drama skits my children create, how to's of homesteading (or maybe the how-not-to's as I find them out), home school projects, lessons and findings, basic thoughts running through my brain ... and probably everything in between. I look forward to your wisdom, input & friendship.

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