Homesteading: A Woman's Journey

Sick Little Ones

Last Saturday, I had to take both of the kids to the Emergency Room.  The kids had been exposed to Bollous Impetigo, which is a contagious staph infection that causes blisters that are very fragile and break open easily & spread on their bodies.  The kids had been exposed as a community event when our 2 yr old daughter played with another child who was sick with this staph infection. 

This lays heavy on my heart to post a gentle suggestion.  With the cold & flu season upon us, PLEASE if you or your little ones are sick do not take them to places where the illness can be spread.  I am thinking about the elderly who were at this community event.  If they were exposed to this staph infection it would be very harmful to them!  What about people who are going through chemo treatments or otherwise have weakened immune systems?  A simple common cold could be very harsh to their health! 

Often, I have seen people take very sick kids to church, school, daycare, or other places where they spread the illnesses.  Yes, there are times when it is inconvenient to keep the little ones home.  It is not always easy - especially for single parents - to take a day from work to care for a sick child.  That is when you need a back-up plan set up ahead of time.  Find someone who is willing to watch your child in the times when they are sick.  Don't assume that just because you have plans for the day that it is okay to allow your sick child to expose others' children with their illness!  Besides the obvious health concerns, think about the financial hardships you can cause to others!  Not everyone has the ability to buy health insurance or the extra money for medications & doctor bills.  Thank heavens, our kids are fully insured!  My husband is insured through his job, but I have no insurance as we cannot afford it.  If I were to get this infection from treating my kids, it would cause a major hardship on us financially. 

I think about the number of kids today with asthma and other health issues.  Simple colds that are easy for otherwise healthy kids to tolerate can cause congestion in an asthmatic child that brings on a severe asthma attack.  Please, if your children are sick, take precautions.

"Gimme, Gimme, Gimme"

 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." {Proverbs 22:6}

Every so often, you will notice something that seems to be a snapshot of today's society.  In our mail yesterday, we received an advertisement that sums up the attitude so prevalent in our society.  The ad was the weekly sales paper for a major discount store.  Most of the ad was geared towards Christmas.  One item in particular jumped out at me and just rubbed me the wrong way.  It is a negative image, but one that sadly is a truth of the way society in general thinks.  The item was a teenage girl's size t-shirt with the image of a kid jumping up and down with great enthusiasm while yelling "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!"

Each year, kids write up their Christmas list or tell their parents what they want.  Each year, it seems that the price of the child's "wants" gets higher and higher.  The list often puts a financial strain on the parents as they spend beyond their means, buying the Christmas gifts on credit and later paying not just the original purchase price but hundreds of dollars more in interest on those credit purchases over the next few months as they pay down the balance.

At what point do we step up and tell our children the realities?  In giving in to their whims and wants so freely, are we really doing what is best for them?  I remember times as a child when my parents had to say "No" to us, even when it hurt to do so.  There is nothing wrong with a child learning that they can not always get the "biggest and best" things that they are wanting.  There is nothing wrong with teaching our children that family needs take priority over the whim and wants of the individual family members. 

If you, as a parent, are feeling the financial burden of buying the "wants" of your children what blessing are you giving them?  Yes, they will enjoy the gifts......for a time until something better comes along.  In the meantime however, they have a stressed parent who is trying to pay off the debt of those gifts.

I am not trying to say that you should never give your child a gift they are wanting.  I only mean to say that we should use caution and careful consideration.  Our children deserve to have a parent who is not stressed.  I have seen children who are continually indulged and given their every "want" when they ask.  Often, these children grow up to have a sense of entitlement.  They feel that they are entitled to be given whatever they want and have never really understood that you need to work for what you want.  Not all children turn out this way, but it happens more often than not.  On the other hand, children who are not continually indulged will often learn the value of what they have.

In the scripture I posted at the beginning, we are told that how we train up our children when they are young will influence how they will become as an adult.  If we teach them that their every whim is theirs for the asking, what kind of adult will our child grow to become?  Yes, the verse in Proverbs was speaking about training up your child in the faith.  Child rearing is a double edged sword however.  It cuts both ways. 

Avoiding colds & illness in little ones

It is disheartening how many young moms are not taught how to help their little ones avoid illnesses through proper care of the baby bottles, pacifiers, and sippy cups.  Over the past few omnths, I have heard many young moms talking about their little ones getting sick often or having chronic problems with catching colds or other illnesses, sometimes even thrush.

One of the ways that we have avoided illnesses with our little ones is to be very diligent in the care of the bottles, sippy cups and pacifiers.  Amazingly, most young moms have no idea how to sterilize these things.  Just this one simple task has helped tremendously in preventing illnesses.  Now that we have 2 little ones, it will be even more important.

The first thing that helps to prevent illness is the obvious of limiting contact of your children with others who are sick.  Of course if you have a little one in day care or public school, they will share the illnesses with the little ones at home.  Whenever possible, you should limit contact however.

Teaching little ones to wash their hands during the day is also important.  Especially after using the bathroom.  You can also make up a batch of hand wipes for them to use.  Take a stack of wash cloths and soak them in a solution of water with a few drops of baby wash in it.  We use these as baby wipes for diaper changing also.  If you have a container of these where the little ones can reach them, they can easily be taught to use one to wipe their face and hands.

One effective way to prevent the sharing of illness between little ones is to not allow them to share sippy cups, bottles or pacifiers.  Take this also a step further.  Each night after the little ones have gone to bed, when you wash the bottles, sippy cups, and pacifiers take the extra time to toss them into a large kettle and sterilize them.    Sterilizing these items will do much to help prevent the sickness from speading.  Especially things like pacifiers!  A little one who has just gotten over a cold can have a relapse if you do not wash & sterilize the pacifier they used during the illness.  As a matter of habit, I sterilize the bottles and all their parts, the sippy cups and all their parts, and the pacifiers every day.  Whether it be at night or during their afternoon nap, I sterilize a whole day's supply of these.  Sterilizing all the little parts is especially important if you use the Dr. Brown type bottles or others with parts that are hard to clean.  The same goes for the flow restrictors in the newer sippy cups that are very difficult to clean due to the flow restrictor's design.

Here is the process that I use to sterilize.  I use my water bath canner kettle as it is large enough to hold everything.  I place all the bottles, sippy cups, their parts, and the pacifiers into the kettel and over with enough water to allow the bottles & cups to be fully submerged.  Place the kettle on the stove and bring the water to a boil.  Continue boiling for 15 minutes.  I then turn off the heat and allow the water to cool.  They are then dried with a clean towel.  Since I make up a day's worth of homemade formula each day, I go ahead and refill the bottles with the formula.  Sippy cups are allowed to dry fully before I assemble them, unless they are needed before they have dried.  Pacifiers are allowed to air dry, then are stored in a container to help keep them clean until they are needed. 

There are some websites that say sterilizing bottles is no longer needed if you make the formula with city water that has been treated.  Some medical websites disagree though.  I agree with the doctors on this one.  We live in a rural area.  The water we get is through a rural water system, similar to a city's system.  We are receiving letters in the mail on a regular basis however that the water is not yet up to the standards that it is supposed to be ~ containing pollutants that should not be there.  The other reason is the design of the bottles & sippy cups.  Even using hot soapy water and a bottle brush, you cannot get into all the areas that need cleaning.  So, to be safe I will sterilize them.

Hopefully some of these ideas will be of a help. 

What Type of Helpmeet are You?

When you saw the title of this blog, did you take a moment to answer it in your own mind & heart? This is a question that I have been pondering and praying about a lot lately. I have a 2 yr old daughter who, like all little ones, is very observant. One day as I was washing dishes she was watching me very closely. Then it hit me. What kind of example of being a helpmeet am I showing to her?

There are many types of helpmeets. Let me describe some of them below.

Martyr Mindy is the woman who acts as though every task done is a supreme sacrifice that she is making for her husband and family. She takes no true joy from her work, but makes sure that everyone in the household and in her hearing is aware of all she is giving up to be a helpmeet at home. Martyr Mary is closely related to Guilt-trip Gretchen.

Guilt-trip Gretchen is the woman who does her tasks, but then reminds her family of all she does for them in a way that causes them to feel guilty for "making" her do tasks for them. She is quick to let her husband and children know how many hours she has spent cleaning up after them and what a hardship their thoughtlessness brings to her each day.

Look-at-me Lucy is the woman who goes through her day, taking care of the needs of her family but makes certain that they are aware of all she has done. Not to be confused with Martyr Mary, Look-at-me Lucy seeks attention to receive the cheers and "good on ya" accolades from her family for all she does. She is very reminiscent of a young child who has the need to be in the center of attention saying "look what I can do!"

Needy Nellie is a woman who lacks the self confidence to do her tasks without the constant aid of others. Even though she is capable of doing her tasks, she very often is having to ask for help in one form or another. Most often, she has learned her lack of confidence from being raised by Criticizing Kristen.

Criticizing Kristen is a woman who in teaching her children how to help around the home, is very critical of their efforts. She ignores the notion that a child will not do the work in the exact manner in which she would do it. In her constant complaining about the quality of her children's work, she brings about feelings in them of resentment, frustration, and the belief that their best effort will never be good enough.

Laid-back Elaine is a woman who has a very relaxed attitude towards homemaking. Her motto is, "It will get done when it gets done." Clutter doesn't bother her as long as she has a footpath through the rooms. Dishes don't need doing until so many are dirty that she has to wash a dish to have one clean to use. She find life, TV, computer, and other distractions more entertaining than caring for the home and puts them first above homemaking.

Hyper Helen is a woman who is in constant motion but has trouble getting anything done. She is a multi-tasker that gets busy on so many things at once that very little actually gets completed. Her days end with more half-finished tasks than finished ones.

Calm Carla is a woman who keeps her home maintained in such a way that it seems that her home keeps itself. She follows a routine that allows her to go through the day getting all her work done. Her home has a peaceful "feel" to it. The chaos of clutter and disarray never comes to her door.

Humble Hannah is a woman who quietly and gracefully serves in her role of helpmeet. She finds her satisfaction on a job well done and doesn't seek the accolades of others to feel validated in her role. She basks in her role and is grateful for the opportunity to serve her husband and children, understanding that when you humbly serve others you are following the example Christ gave when he served others through his ministry.

At some point in our lives, we have or will be one of the examples spoken of. As we grow in our role and in experience, our attitudes can change. We can go from one of the more negative examples to a more positive one. At various points in my life, I have been many of these women. Sometimes having the characteristics of more than one at the same time.

When you read through these various types of helpmeets, did any of their descriptions touch your heart? The purpose in writing this is to draw attention to myself and others of how important it is to take a honest look at our attitude as we go through our tasks. Are our daughters seeing a positive example or are they watching us as we grumble through the tasks? Do we show them that they can find joy, peace, and fulfillment in the role of being a helpmeet & homemaker? Are we showing them that being a helpmeet is what the world describes in that a SAHM is an oppressed servant to her husband? Are we teaching our daughters to understand the difference?   Our example also affects our sons.  One day they will marry.  Our example of how to be a helpmeet will affect how they see the role of helpmeet.  After watching your example, what type of helpmeet will they seek out?

Encouraging Little helpers

Unusual Resource

Today I found a resource that I would never have expected.  I always thought  of You Tube as a place where people posted strange, bizarre, and somewhat raunchy videos.  Today I learned something.

I was watching a video that a friend had sent the link of and afterwards thought I would do a search on the topic of canning.  The search brought a listing of tutorial videos that teach the basics of canning.  I went on to do more searches on topics of interest to homesteaders and was pleased to find alot of great resource videos on gardening, dehydrating food, sewing, quilting, crochet, knitting, soap making, home built wind power turbines, spinning wool, weaving, weaving looms tutorials, building a quilt frame, how to make cheese, building a chicken tractor & coop, how to make a homemade chicken incubator, how to butcher & process your own chickens & livestock and tons more of topics. 

Who would ever have thought that a website known for the weird and obnoxious things would have such a wealth of information that we can use?

Too much laundry

I have been going through all of our clothing over the past few weeks, taking stock of what we have, what is needed, etc.  I made a discovery.   We have too much laundry! 

We are a homesteading family.  The little ones have a large amount of clothing.  I realised this as I was bagging up Abigail's outgrown clothing (size 12-18 months) and quickly filled 5 small trash bags!  You would think that she has not a stitch to wear after gleaning out those things but she still has a full wardrobe of clothing.  Micah doesn't have nearly as many, but he has a fair amount.  I have clothing that I haven't worn in a very long time.  Granted, I was pregnant with Micah, but even before that, some of the clothing was never worn.

There are only 7 days in a week.  If I am doing a load or two of laundry each day, then why do we need over dozen outfits each?  With the little ones still in diapers, it is easy to make excuses, but if you are washing their laundry as you do their cloth diapers each day or two, why do they need so many outfits?  Allowing one outfit per day, 2-3 church outfits, a coat or for an infant a bunting, plus a couple of sweaters or sweatshirts to wear on cool days are sufficient.  I only need 6 daily dresses and 2 church dresses at the most.  Add a shawl, mantle, and a work coat for winter and I am set.

My Beloved can use more clothing than an outfit per day due to the type of work he does.  But even that doesn't mean a closet & dresser packed full of clothing is necessary.  He has enough jeans to get him through a week and plenty of shirts, both summer and winter styles. 

If you have more clothing than necessary, it can be a waste of money.  I have known people who have bought clothing, brought it home and once it was hung up in the closet, they forgot even buying it.  The outfit goes unworn for years, often with the price tag still attached to it. 

With the goal of wanting to do 100% of our laundry by hand as soon as I have the things I need to do a proper job of it, I can see where having fewer outfits would be a blessing.  Yes, it would mean doing laundry more often, but the amount of laundry to be washed at one time would be less.  This will also be important when having to dry the clothing indoors where space is limited. 

With the little ones in cloth diapers or even when Abigail is wearing training pants, I am guaranteed a load of laundry each day just of their diapers and training pants.  Sometimes their bedding also is washed daily.   If you have so much laundry that you are able to do the laundry once a week, it becomes a large task when doing it by hand. 

I am now alternating between 1-2 loads a day.  Each day, I have a load of cloth diapers, crib bedding, and a few towels.  Every other day, I add a load of Joe's and my laundry.  Doing it this way really helps to keep the task from becoming an all-day event.  Even hand washing the laundry is not as time consuming if done this way.  Come winter, when I will be hanging laundry on racks indoors to dry, this way of doing the laundry will also be a blessing.

My dream machine

When our washing machine needed a new belt last weekend, I kept thinking about my favorite washing machine.  It was an old Maytag Wringer Washer that I used at my Grandma's home when I was growing up. Years later, I had one that I used until about 1993.  I really miss that old machine.  To me, it cleaned much better than the machines that came around later.  You had control over the length of time the clothes were agitated, something that I really appreciated when cleaning heavily soiled clothing.  I never had anything come out stained. 

Grandma kept her wringer washer in the bathroom so that it could be moved closer to the sink for filling & draining.  I kept mine on the back porch in a mud room where there was a large utility sink installed.  I have watched some women with these machines using them out in their yard or on an open porch where they had a large metal tub setting to catch the clothing as it come from the wringer.  They had a clothesline set up nearby to hang the clothing on. 

It is interesting to me how in an age where there is so much new technology, it is the old ways that I long for.  The old ways were more work intensive.  The wringer wasn't called a hand masher for no reason!  In spite of the extra work and care that you needed to give the tasks, I find a comfort and peace in it. 

I finally let go

Self Reliant???

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5 (King James Version)

I remember learning that verse years ago when I was a child.  The older that I am, the more I realise the depth of meaning the verse has.  Living on a homestead, one of the goals that we have is to live as self reliant as possible.  We are working towards raising all of our food, alternative energy options to be able to not depend on the public utilities, and be able to earn an income from the homestead.  Many refer to this as being self-reliant, but is it really?

Self reliance invokes thoughts of being able to depend on oneself to meet the needs of the family.  The longer you homestead, the more you realise that a "self reliant" life is in fact a "God reliant" life.  It is only through God's blessings and grace that we are able to grow the crops we need, raise the animals necessary to meet the needs of the family, or have the income needed to financially meet the responsibilities.

What good is a wind powered energy system for your home if the Lord doesn't send the wind?  Why plant a vegetable garden if the Lord doesn't provide the warmth and rains that the plants need to grow and produce the food for your family?  Each time you plant a seed in your garden, you are trusting in the Lord to do whatever is necessary to aid in your garden's success. 

When we trust in the Lord with all our heart, having complete faith in Him, he blesses us greatly.  The blessings may not come in the manner we would have chosen.  There may be obstacles in our path that we need to overcome.  These obstacles are not always a trial, but given the right attitude can be an opportunity to learn and grow.  They only become a hinderance if we do not look for the lesson in them. 

With each lesson learned, we can develop a stronger relationship with our Lord.  As we begin to lean on the Lord more - and on ourselves less - our family is blessed with the abundant blessings from our Lord.

I pray that we each learn to become more God reliant and less "self" reliant.

Lost Art of Letter Writing?

Let's face it, the world today is becoming very technology oriented.  With the advent of email, telephones and text messaging has letter writing taken such a back burner position that it is becoming a lost art?  It seems that when you go to your mail box today, you find bills or advertisements.  How long has it been since you received an actual handwritten letter or a card with a note tucked inside?

When I was young, I loved having pen pals and going to the mailbox to see what letters were there.  It was a joy to have these little notes and letters that I could save to read over and over again.  Some of the most precious were letters and cards that I received as a young adult from my Grandmother and my Father. 

Over the past couple of years, I have been taking part in circle letters with a group of Christian women from across USA and also a few overseas in Canada, New Zealand and Australia.  What a blessing it is to share stories and experiences with these women.  Sometimes the cicle letters are specific to a topic, other times they are simple "general chat" type letters talking about our families.  I am blessed also to have made friendships through these letters with many of the women.  As we get to know each other, we share our lives with one another, encouraging and praying for each others' families.

I love the quiet time I spend with the letters.  When Abigail is sleeping, I take the letters out to read & reply to.  There is such a peaceful tone to the day when I take the moments to read these letters.  I find in writing my replies that I am also at peace in a way that email and phone calls just cannot compare to.  There is a gentleness of spirit, a chance to slow your day down to a restful pace as you write.  The words used to express your thoughts are more fluid and descriptive than a computer can provide.  There is a "personal" feeling to the letters and an appreciation to the author of the letters I receive that they took the time out of their day to actually sit down and put pen to paper, writing a letter or note to me.

Is letter writing a lost art?  I hope not, though it seems less often people are willing to do it.  As our children grow up in an age of computers and the instant gratification of email & text messaging, we can instill in them the trait of hospitality in personal letters.  Starting with a simple "thank you" note for a birthday gift or other kindness shown to them or getting them involved in a penpal exchange through a reputable source.  One of the greatest methods to teach children to love writing letters is to show them by example.  Maybe write little notes to them and tuck in their school backpack for them to find later in the day.  Simple notes of love and encouragement to brighten their day and let them know how proud you are of them.

Stationary doesn't have to be fancy.  You can easily dress up the most plain of papers with rubber stamps or stickers.  If you are artistic, try designing your own line art design for your letters then make photocopies or have the line art design made into a rubber stamp.  There are many pretty papers available today at the craft stores.  You can purchase decorative papers in the scrapbooking section and make your own blank notecards.  While there, you can also purchase some beautiful colors of ink pens.  For the really adventurous souls, try your hand at using the calligraphy pens to make your letterheads & note cards.

Whatever style of stationary you choose, fancy or plain, have fun with the letter writing.  You may even try writing "letters" to your children in the form of a journal.  It would give them a keepsake to read through and learn more about your thoughts and ideas.  What a blessing it would be for them one day to share the journals with their own children! 

I pray that this has inspired you to remember letters or notes that you may have received in the past that had left an impression on you, maybe even inspired you to consider the art of letter writing again.

Proteins & Morning Sickness

Did you know that there is a connection between morning sickness and protein deficiency?  I recently found this out and was amazed.

I have been very sick with the morning sickness for several days in a row of not being able to hold anything, including water, in my stomach.  I spoke with my midwife and was surprised to hear that if you have a protein defeciency, it can cause your morning sicknes to get worse.  She recommended that I start drinking some of the Atkins Protein shakes as a suppliment.  I didn't have the extra money right now to buy it, so I cooked up alittle of the organic grass-fed beef each day as a part of one meal.  I have also started eating more eggs.  Either having eggs for breakfast or making egg salad for a sandwich later in the day.  A friend also suggested that when she was pregnant, a half of a peanut butter sandwich would ease the nausea if she ate it as soon as she started feeling the nausea begin.

It is amazing to me how something so simple can ease my morning sickness.  I am still going to get a protein shake powder to keep on hand.  Also a package of the ready to use cans of the shakes.  The cans of premixed will be great for times when I am out running errands all day.  I can keep it in a cooler along with healthy snacks and such for Abigail & I.

When I was pregnant with Abigail, I had a bad few months of morning sickness.  I was truck driving with Joe at the time and it was hard to eat a healthy diet.  I was on a prescription for the morning sickness for nearly 3 months.  I wonder, looking back, if I had eaten more protein if I could have avoided having the prescription. 

One thing that my midwife mentioned was that something they have seen is that protein deficiency can lead to diabetic issues.  People not eating enough meat, but eating alot of carbs & starches such as pasta, breads, and potatoes.  These foods can raise your blood sugar levels.  Having several close relatives (grandparents, aunt, uncles, etc.) who are/were diabetic, I am very interested in this finding.

I don't know if this will work for everyone, but I wanted to share the information that I learned.

Interesting Sermon I Listened to

Recently, I have been listening to sermons that I ordered through the Charity Gospel Tape Ministry (http://www.charityministries.org).  It is an Anabaptist Ministry that provides sermons on various topics in both tape & CD format.  The sermons are free.  If you are able to send a donation, they are very grateful. A donation is not required though.  They also have a free publication, The Remnant, that you can subscribe to.

The sermon I listened to last night, I ended up listening to again today.  It really has touched my heart.  The sermon is titled:  "The Hidden Woman" presented by Brother Denny Kenaston.  The sermon taught things that many modern churches no longer address.  The focus being on the role of the woman in the home.

There were several points made that touched my heart.  The first being the importance of the woman's role as wife & mother.  Many look upon the women who live the principle of submission as being weak or oppressed.  That is probably one of the greatest false teaching that society has been promoting.  Anyone who has read Proverbs 31 can see that the woman has much strength and importance in the family.  She looked after the running of the home, raised the children, and saw to the needs of her husband.  As her husband's helpmeet, a wife encourages him, prays for him, supports him, and honors him. 

Brother Kenaston gave many examples of how a woman gives help and blesses those around her --- most of the time in a way that is unknown to those around them.  They are quiet and humble in their service, never boasting about the things that they have done. 

Another area he spoke of is the great need of a wife to show reverence for her husband.  Husbands work hard to provide for the family.  Many times, they can become weary in that responsibility.  Women have complained long and loud over the years of feeling unappreciated by their husbands in the home.  Think of hte number of times a woman has complained of a husband who takes no notice of the efforts she has made to care for the children, the home, make meals, and the other many household tasks.  We have all heard at least once in our lives a woman complain about this.  Maybe at some point in our lives, we have been guilty of this ourselves.  Do we treat our husbands the same way?  Do we allow them to go about their work without us ever telling him how proud of him we are?  How much we appreciate the way he provides for the family? Or do we focus on only the things we see lacking?  Maybe complain about the lack of money instead of being appreciative and doing all we can to live within the means of the income our husband provides?  How frustrating would it be to a husband to work as hard as he can - doing his best - and have a wife who only complains that the husband is not making enough money?  Our husbands NEED to feel that we see their efforts and appreciate what they do. 

Another point that Brother Kenaston spoke of was the affect it has on a husband when a wife honors him.  The more a wife encourages and shows appreciation to her husband, the more the husband will try to be the Godly husband that he was intended to be.  Think of how you have felt in your life when others built up your self-esteem and showed how much they believed in you.  When someone praised you for the efforts you made in an area of your life.  What about the teacher in school who saw you struggling & told you how much they believed in your ability to learn and excel in teh areas you struggled with?  Didn't those situations bring about a conviction in you to try harder to become the person they believed you to be?  Being praised over your acheivements brought about the drive to continue to press forward and become ever better.  It didn't matter if it was a class in school, a sport, a job you struggled with, a new lesson that you were trying to learn.  Whatever it was, the belief of others and their faith in you would give you strength.  How much would this affect a husband who had a difficult job? 

One of the simple ways that a wife can honor and revere her husband is to take care in the keeping of the home.  It is an outward symbol of your appreciation for what your husband provides - that it has meaning to you.  A home is a haven to the family from the influences of the outside world.  Turn it into a place where your family can relax and feel peace.  Show reverence to your husband.  Think of how important your husband would feel he is to you if you were to show him respect and honor him!  How many times does your husband talk to you and you have tuned him out?  Show him the same respect that you would have him give to you. 

In some cultures, a wife shows her appreciation and respect to her husband by preparing herself (and the children) before he comes home.  Some women will take a quick shower, put on clean clothing & fix their hair so that when their husband comes home, they can greet him at the door.  Instead of greeting him looking frazzled and worn out, greet him as you would have when you were dating and you were excited to see him!  I know life can get in the way and make this hard to do at times.  But make the effort whenever possible.   Take interest in his day.  Greet him as if he were the most precious person to grace your home.  Do this with an honest and humble heart.  It has such a positive affect on your husband.  Just like us, husbands are not perfect.  They have bad moods and can make mistakes.  They can say hurtful things.  But if you continue to love them, pray for them, encourage them, honor & revere them, it can bring about such a wonderful blessing to your family.  It will lighten his load.  Uplift him.  Bless him.  Give him the strength he needs to meet the responsibilities and demands of his Godly role as husband, father, provider & protector of the family.  Showing him unconditional love and reverence, praying for him, will bless your family & marriage.  If you treat him as a king in your home, he will in turn treat you as his queen.

You don't do these things to change him or to manipulate him into becoming what YOU want him to be.  You do these things because you have a true and deep love & reverence for him. 

A change can come about in your own life as you do this.  If you only see the faults in your husband, you can become bitter towards him.  Your love that you had on your wedding day can sour.  But, if you focus on how much you love and appreciate him - praising his strengths, praying for him, and doing what you can to show your love for him - you will find that any faults that he may have are unimportant.  You only will see the good in him.  What blessing would this be to your marriage if you only focused on the positive attributes? 

There is much more in "The Hidden Woman" sermon.  This is only a portion of what I learned through listening to it.  I am so grateful that I have received and listened to this sermon. It is such a blessing to me and has taught me much. 

I pray that you are encouraged by this blog.  May the Lord bless each of you.

Loving our Brethren

This topic is one that is very close to my heart and weighs on it as I see the way society is going.  I pray that the Lord give me the words to express what needs to be said in a way that will touch your hearts. 

One of the many lessons that you learn through out your life is that just as Christ loved the church, we are to love one another.  We are also taught that we are not to be a stumbling block to our brethren.  If you love your brethren, you won't want to do anything that can cause them to stumble in their spiritual growth.

One of the ways that women can easily make men struggle, many times without realising it, is in the way we dress and present ourselves.   Often, I have noticed the fashions of today and I just cringe.  As I look, even in the baby/toddler area, I see clothing that is very inappropriate and immodest.  It is at times like these that I am so grateful that I know how to sew. 

We, as women, must be so very careful.  Even if the length of our dress is modest, if the fabric is too thin so as the slip is seen through it, or the dress style is too "form fitting", it can turn even the most modest of clothing into something immodest.  Imagine that you are looking at pictures taken when you were on an outing.  You are dressed modestly, standing out there in the beautiful sunshine with your family, when the picture was taken.  Later, when looking at the picture, you notice that in the sunlight, you can see the outline of your legs or underpinnings through your clothing.  How would you feel, knowing that while you were out and about that day (and every other day that you wore that outfit), men were able to see your shape through your dress?  Would you shrug this off or would you be embarrassed?   While your clothing at first appearance is modest in style, it still can be a distraction and stumbling block to our brethren.  

What about clothing that is fitting abit too snug?  Again, you can be fully covered, but your shape is still very revealed.  Often, I have seen women & girls wearing clothing that you could see the lines of their underclothes through the fabric because of the tight fit.  Many today try to avoid those lines by wearing underclothing that is even skimpier.  If you are wearing a top with a modest neckline & long enough to properly cover the stomach, yet it is so tight that the fabric literally hugs your chest, wouldn't that also draw the lustful thoughts of your brethren?  In theory, everything is covered with fabric, but is your shape concealed enough to be truly modest?

Just as wearing a fabric that is thick enough to conceal what we are wearing underneath is a help towards modesty, so is wearing clothing that is loose enough.  If you wear a snug fitted skirt/dress for example, when you bend over to pick something up, the hemline rises much more than a loose fitting one.  Also, a skirt too loose fitting can be immodest on a windy day if the breeze catches the hem.

Ladies, we have so much responsibility in how we dress.  The decision of what is modest is different from one person to the next.  Each must be prayerful in how to address the topic.  As wives, we need to seek the counsel of our husbands.  They are the spiritual leader of the home, and out of respect for them we should include them in our decision making process.

I am very blessed in that Joe fully supports my choice to convert my wardrobe to wearing Cape Dresses only.  From what I have studied, and through much discussion with Joe, and much prayer, this is the choice that we are led to.   This is not the choice of all women.  How you are led to dress is a very personal thing.  Maybe you work a job that requires a specific type of dress.  For example, if you work with children in a teaching or preschool position, modest slacks may be the best choice do to the types of activities that you are doing.  Each must choose for themselves.

It is hard to help young girls/women learn modest dress when their peers at school are dressing in the trendy & many times, immodest, styles of today.  Be prayerful and seek the Lord's guidance.  Take a hard look at your wardrobe & that of your daughters.  Is it a wardrobe that shows your love & caring for your brethren in their walk with the Lord? 

Girls & women are not the only ones.  Trends in some of the clothing that men wear is also very immodest.  Tight fitting jeans, for example.  I will admit that when I met my Beloved, Joe, I noticed how his pants fit his body.  I also noticed the buttons he left open at the neck of his shirt.  I was very drawn to the way he looked.  Praise the Lord, I also fell very much in love and have a great respect for Joe.  I see the deep faith he has in the Lord.  Since we married, I have noticed that the jeans he wears now are fitting bit more loosely than what he used to wear.  I am thrilled with it.  I may not mind the tight jeans at home, but I wouldn't like other women to be lusting after him for wearing tight jeans any more than he would want other men lusting after me because of immodest clothing.  Is this unreasonable?  Not to us.  We honor our commitment to each other through modest dress, by not drawing the unwanted lustful looks from others.  Let's face it, how loving are you being to your husband if you dress in a way that brings another man's lustful attention to you?  Are not women offended when their spouse notices & watches a skimpy dressed woman? 

I pray that you receive these words in the manner in which they were intended.  I say them in love & concern.  May the Lord bless each of you in your walk with Him.

A good day

Today, I was wide awake at 4am.  Not unusual for me when Joe is on the road, but it was surprising in that I had gone to bed at 1am.

I am taking advantage of the cooler temperatures of the night and early morning.  It also frees up my time in the day when Abbie is awake.  This morning, I got alot done.  Laundry, ironing fabrics that were already washed to prepare them for sewing.  I also worked on cleaning the floors andother housework.  Living on a dirt road, it seems we always have dust getting in and so I have to dust each day.

At 8:30am, I woke Abbie to get her ready to go for her day at Grandma & Granda's.  She goes to there house each Wednesday.  It gives them a good visit and also gives me time at home to work uninterrupted.  During her visit today, they took her swimming in their pool.  I guess she was scared at first, but she quickly started enjoying it and was splashing around.

I got abit more done while Abbie was gone, then took a nap.  I woke up when they brought Abbie back.  Dad brought the sacks of feed in for me and they fussed over the animals abit. Abbie was so exhausted after her visit, that she was ready for a nap.  She fussed alittle, because she knew her Grandparents were still here, but she quickly fell asleep.

This afternoon, I have very little to do.  I already have everything cleaned.  So I am free to sew or crochet.  Getting up early is rough some days, but I love being able to have the entire afternoon, when the day is so hot, to just relax and do something quieter.

The Quilts of our Lives

Today was quite warm, so I ended up spending most of it indoors.  I started working on some 9-patch quilt blocks.  I am enjoying making these.  They go together so quickly.  I am making them to use in several quilt projects.  I found a really nice quilting resource, Quilters Cache, that has alot of free quilt block patterns.  They also have links to websites that provide free quilting instruction to beginners.

I love quilting.  Taking scraps of fabric, cleaning & pressing them, then sewing them together to turn them into a beautiful quilt.

How much are our lives like these quilts.  Each patch is like a blessing or experience we have had.  Blessings like family, home, etc, are like the bright and beautiful patches of fabric.  Then there are the many other experiences and blessings that don't have all the bright, rich colors, but bring a balance to our lives just as they bring balance to a colorful quilt.  As our lives progress, there are many times when we have to stop, make changes, then start over.   It is much like the quilter who has to take out stitches that are not sewn properly and restitch the seams.  The Lord takes the individual pieces of our lives and with His Grace, He brings them together to form a beautiful tapestry of our lives.  Much as the quilter takes the mismatched fabric patches and turns them into a beautiful quilt that can bless the recipient with warm.

I am so grateful to the Lord for His guidance and blessing in my life.  His Grace is such a blessing in our lives.  He is Soveriegn and His will is perfect.   No matter what we are going through, He is there just like a loving Father.  He stands ready to guide us, protect us, bless us, and comfort us.....no matter what challenges we face.

I pray that you feel the Lord's presence in your life.  That you seek Him and His grace.

God Bless,

Paula

Striving for Simplicity

There are no two ways around it.  I absolutely hate clutter.  Unfortunately, in an 1890 home, built in closets and other storage areas, so popular today, were not available in homes.  They had free-standing cabinets and furniture to store their belongings in.

This week, I am taking each room, one at a time, and packing up everything that we haven't used during the past 2 years since I moved into the house.  Much will end up being donated or Freecycled.  Things that Joe may want to sort through will be gathered up in a box or bag and labeled so he can go through them at another time.  Either way, I am basically emptying out the house of anything we don't need or actually use.

Bless his heart, Joe is great about it.  I teased him that by the time he gets home, our house will look empty as though we had been robbed.  He is taking it all in stride though.  I am sure that he is ready for the house to be cleared out also.

I have been striving to find a way to living a more simple lifestyle.  Removing the excess from the house is a good start.   It will make the rooms look larger, easier to clean, and make my life alot less stressful.  When you have alot of clutter, it can really depress or overwhelm you.  When you sit in the room and see all that needs done, you look at it and wonder, "where do I start"? 

I start by sorting things into 3 piles....keep, donate, toss.    The items being kept are separated further in that items that Joe needs to sort are being packaged up with like items together & put into our storage room.  Donated items are being Freecycled or given to charity.  This is becoming very liberating for us.  When finished, the only items left will be the things we really do need. 

Joe and I are really simplistic in that we are not materialistic at all.  We prefer to live a plain lifestyle.  We don't see a need for many of the things others use without thought.   Anything we collect has to be useable.  For example, we collect oil lamps & cast iron.  I also collect antique kitchen items.  Not to have as display pieces, but to use.  If I had my dream, I would get rid of most everything that we have that requires electricity and use the non-electric alternatives.  I love using the non-electric things.  I can work around the house and not have a motor running that wakes Abbie from her naps or upsets her.  After I clear out the house, I am going to start watching for the non-electric alternatives.  If I see something that I know will get alot of use, I will consider getting it.

Joe and I have plans to fix up the house to make it look as close as possible to what it may have been like in 1890-1910 when it was built & added on to.  Having the non-electric kitchen utensils, butter churn, etc, will make the kitchen look more like that time period.

Hmmm.........wonder if I can talk Joe into taking a step back and putting in a dry sink with a hand pump in our kitchen......  

Our lifestyle under attack

Being a Conservative Christian woman, I am finding to be very enlightening both in a good and bad way.  It amazes me how many times in the past year I have had to defend myself and my husband to those who don't understand how we live.

There are those who feel that if you are a Conservative Christian who follows the precept of submission (headship), then you must be an abused, controlled, and oppressed woman.  They take it further that the husband must be some type of tyrant who is controlling and abusing his wife & children.  This saddens me to the very core of my being.  Just the idea of a Conservative Christian husband being thought of in such a negetive light proves to me how little is known about what the God-given roles of the husband and wife really are.

A wife is the helpmeet of her husband.  She helps and supports him in his responsibilities.  The husband has so very much on his shoulders.  He is the provider, the protector, and also has responsibility to see to the spiritual teachings of his family.  As his helpmeet, the wife assists him in these areas. 

If a man is abusive or controlling, he is not following the guidelines given in the Bible that teach how a husband should treat his wife.  A man is to "love his wife even as Christ loves the church" (Ephesians 5:25).   Christ showed his love for the church by serving the church.  He helped those who were in need, gave comfort, provided food to the hungry, and ultimately, He gave His very life for the church.  Where in this did Christ treat the church with abuse or oppressive dictates?  Nowhere!  If a man follows the example given by Christ, he treats the family with love.  He provides for them, teaches & counsels them, and protects them.

A wife is the nurturer in the family.  She raises the children, teaches them, cares for them, she looks after the home, and she does what she can to help lighten the burdens on her husband's shoulders.

If you look at Proverbs 31, you will read about a women whom many Christian wimen see as the "ideal" woman.  In that passage, King Lemuel's mother was describing to him the type of woman whom he should seek.  The Proverbs 31 woman wasn't a controlled, oppressed woman.  She was very industrious.  She looked after the needs of her family & household, she worked making linens and sold them to the merchants, she bought land, was charitable to those in need, she had wisdom and she behaved in a manner which made her husband proud. 

I love being a homemaker, looking after our daughter and working on our homestead. The dreams that we have of Joe being able to leave truck driving and work from home is one that Joe and I both share.  He sacrifices so much to help make this dream a reality.  He is working a job that has him on the road for a month at a time.  It is very difficult on him to be away, just as it is on us for him to be gone.  But, we know that the day will come when he can stay home.

We are working as a team. Just as any married couple should be, we are working together to meet the goals we have for our family.  Joe's job provides the income & the means for us to be able to financially reach our goals.  My task is to look after things here and to prepare for the time Joe can be home permanently.  Sometimes. the Lord stretches & grows us through trial, whether it be financial, physical, or emotional.  But in the end, we know that the Lord is in charge and if we continue to have faith, the Lord will help us through.

The work that I do here is something I truly enjoy.  I grew up around farming, having a few farm animals as a kid, and raising a garden.  I learned from those experiences how to care for the livestock, to garden, and many of the other homesteading skills that are so much of a blessing now.  I feel privileged to be given the opportunities to grow our own food and become self-sufficient.  I know that the work can be hard, but I also know that the harder I work right now, the sooner Joe will be able to leave the OTR trucking job behind.

I have had people verbally and through emails attack my lifestyle.  They see Joe as someone who goes off on the truck & having it easy, while I am slaving away at home.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Joe gets exhausted with his job.  Long hours driving the truck, training a new driver, and having to be available to that student even if it means Joe's own sleep being interrupted.  He does this all with the added stress of not being with his family.  Our daughter & I are so very blessed to have a man in our life who takes seriously his God-given role of husband & father.

The work that I do here at home is so small compared to his sacrifices.  I have the benefit of being with our precious daughter.  I am able to watch her grow and learn new things.  I am so privileged to have the honor of making our homesteading dream a reality.  The work is paying off.  We have the start of a farm.  The animals are doing well and by next spring, we will have the 2nd generation of animals.  We are already looking to expand our gardens next year.  As I have mentioned before, I have 3 of them.  I have a small herb garden, a summer garden, and I have planted a fall crop.  Next year, I will add more varieties and double to number of plants that I put in the gardens.  These will provide the food we need for the summer, produce for home canning to provide for us until the following year's garden is producing, and it will also provide a source of income in the selling of surplus produce.

The livestock provides much.  Our goats will provide our milk, yogurt, cheese, and goat milk soap.  Once we have enough goats, we will be able to start using them also for meat.  The sheep will provide meat.  I may consider also shearing, cleaning and carding the wool so that I can sell it to crafters who spin their own yarns.  Our poultry provide eggs and meat.  Surplus eggs, just as the goat products are also a source of income.

If things continue as they have been going, Joe could leave the truck driving in as little as 3-5 years.  Once Joe is home, the workload on me will be very much lightened.  Joe enjoys helping me not only with the homestead, but he also helps with canning and anything else that needs done.  When he is home, he is very hands-on and works very hard to make my job easier, doing the heavy work that I have difficulty with during the month.  As I have said, we are working as a team.

Marriage is a partnership.  Sometimes the work load for each person is easier than others.  But in the end, you do what the Lord leads you to do no matter what the opinion of strangers or others.  Those who would attack our lifestyle & say that Joe is finding a convenient way to have it easy while I am left at home to work hard do not know us at all.  I am realising that they don't really want to know us.  They just are voicing opinions without the facts.  I can only hope that they do take the time to really read my blogs and even Joe's blogs to learn more about us before making such harsh judgements.  I doubt it will happen, but who knows.

This & that

Finally, spring is upon us.  What a glorious time of year.  The new buds forming on the trees bringing new leaves and growth.  The warming of the temperatures.  Sunday night, I came home to find several rabbits jumping around in the yard.  A sure sign that spring is finally here.  I was able to place the last of the puppies.  A no-kill shelter took them and was thrilled to have them.  They had just had a large number of adoptions and had no young puppies left.  These 4 little ones will be easy for them to place.  I felt bad in a way about taking them to a shelter.  But I am happy that I was able to find a good one.  Also the fact that the other 6 puppies have homes.  I plan to have Fawn and Sweetpea spayed as soon as we are able to afford it.  Until then, they will be in a kennel with a high fence.  Mack, who is a houdini and can get in and out of most enclosures we have put him into, can't get in the kennel so I feel pretty confident that we can keep the females safe should they go into heat before we can get them spayed.   Joe's job is going well.  He is getting alot of miles and is enjoying the job.  It is hard being away from home, but he is doing good.  We stay in touch daily with text messages and emails.  Phone calls also when time permits.  It all depends on the loads they are running.  If it is a tight schedule, he has a harder time getting to a phone to send/recieve emails.  That is where the text messages are a blessing.  Abbie and I are doing well.  She talks to her Daddy's picture alot and giggles.  I have been taking alot of pictures of her to get developed so Joe will have some new ones.  I have been staying busy.  I am working on spring cleaning the house, doing some sewing, and also a bit of canning.  Once Joe is home, we will can alot more.  Meals that include meat will be done when he is here.  I had to repair my sewing machine.  It had quit working properly.  So, I had to do some minor work on it to get the machine working well again.  I really missed being able to sew while it was not working.  I was surprised by how much I was wanting to work on the sewing projects.  Thank goodness I was able to find out how to do the repair myself.  It saved alot of time & money.  I also found through doing a search that I will be able to order the manual for repairing & servicing my sewing machine.  What a blessing it will be to get that.  I won't have to take it in to be serviced once I learn how to do it myself.

Reaching Out

I have been finding the past couple of weeks with Joe gone to be some of the hardest, yet in some ways, the most fruitful of times.  In these past couple of weeks, I have been dealing with the loneliness that comes with having a husband who's work takes them from home for extended periods. 

It is hard when you don't know many people in your area.  Those that I do know are not the type to call or drop by.  Most work or have active schedules so you feel bad interrupting their family time.  Joe's parents live nearby and it is a blessing.  I know that I can call them anytime or drop by and they are happy to see us.  So we are in touch at least every few days, mostly by phone, but we see each other each week also.

In addition to being my beloved husband, Joe is my best friend.  We talk about everything and he has a wonderful sense of humor.  Joe also is one of the most insightful people I have every met.  He thinks things through before speaking, which gives you a strong trust and confidence in what he says. 

For now, until we have more cell phone time, our phone conversations are kept to a minimum.  Most communication is done through email and text messenging.  I can''t wait until we are able to talk on the phone more!  I think that is one of the things that is hardest to get used to.  When you have a husband who is home every night, it is easy to take for granted how easily you are able to communicate.  When that level of communication changes, you realise what you are missing.  Especially when your spouse in your main (or only) confidant.

So, when that readily available communication is not there as easily as it had been, who do you reach out to?  At those times when you are feeling the most alone or when you just need a friend?   On those days when you miss your beloved so much that it is hard to keep the tears at bay.  Where do you turn when you have few in your life who understand the lifestyle that you have?  Or who understand that this is just a period of adjustment that you are going through and will be supportive without condemning your lifestyle?

My comfort has come from reaching out more to the Lord.  Even in those moments when I am feeling alone, I know that He is with me.  He speaks to me through His Word - the Bible - and through the gentle promptings of His Spirit.  I feel the warmth of His Spirit with me at those times when I need it most.  When I start worrying about Joe and his co-driver traveling in the bad weather, I pray and I feel a comfort, knowing that the Lord will watch over them.

This job change is such a blessing.  Not just financially, but in the opportunity for growth in my relationship with the Lord.  Joe also is feeling the Lord's hand in this job change.  It is providing him with opportunities to talk to others about the Lord.  It is amazing.

I am so grateful for the opportunities that the Lord allows to come our way.  I pray that His peace be with you.