Homesteading: A Woman's Journey

What Type of Helpmeet are You?

When you saw the title of this blog, did you take a moment to answer it in your own mind & heart? This is a question that I have been pondering and praying about a lot lately. I have a 2 yr old daughter who, like all little ones, is very observant. One day as I was washing dishes she was watching me very closely. Then it hit me. What kind of example of being a helpmeet am I showing to her?

There are many types of helpmeets. Let me describe some of them below.

Martyr Mindy is the woman who acts as though every task done is a supreme sacrifice that she is making for her husband and family. She takes no true joy from her work, but makes sure that everyone in the household and in her hearing is aware of all she is giving up to be a helpmeet at home. Martyr Mary is closely related to Guilt-trip Gretchen.

Guilt-trip Gretchen is the woman who does her tasks, but then reminds her family of all she does for them in a way that causes them to feel guilty for "making" her do tasks for them. She is quick to let her husband and children know how many hours she has spent cleaning up after them and what a hardship their thoughtlessness brings to her each day.

Look-at-me Lucy is the woman who goes through her day, taking care of the needs of her family but makes certain that they are aware of all she has done. Not to be confused with Martyr Mary, Look-at-me Lucy seeks attention to receive the cheers and "good on ya" accolades from her family for all she does. She is very reminiscent of a young child who has the need to be in the center of attention saying "look what I can do!"

Needy Nellie is a woman who lacks the self confidence to do her tasks without the constant aid of others. Even though she is capable of doing her tasks, she very often is having to ask for help in one form or another. Most often, she has learned her lack of confidence from being raised by Criticizing Kristen.

Criticizing Kristen is a woman who in teaching her children how to help around the home, is very critical of their efforts. She ignores the notion that a child will not do the work in the exact manner in which she would do it. In her constant complaining about the quality of her children's work, she brings about feelings in them of resentment, frustration, and the belief that their best effort will never be good enough.

Laid-back Elaine is a woman who has a very relaxed attitude towards homemaking. Her motto is, "It will get done when it gets done." Clutter doesn't bother her as long as she has a footpath through the rooms. Dishes don't need doing until so many are dirty that she has to wash a dish to have one clean to use. She find life, TV, computer, and other distractions more entertaining than caring for the home and puts them first above homemaking.

Hyper Helen is a woman who is in constant motion but has trouble getting anything done. She is a multi-tasker that gets busy on so many things at once that very little actually gets completed. Her days end with more half-finished tasks than finished ones.

Calm Carla is a woman who keeps her home maintained in such a way that it seems that her home keeps itself. She follows a routine that allows her to go through the day getting all her work done. Her home has a peaceful "feel" to it. The chaos of clutter and disarray never comes to her door.

Humble Hannah is a woman who quietly and gracefully serves in her role of helpmeet. She finds her satisfaction on a job well done and doesn't seek the accolades of others to feel validated in her role. She basks in her role and is grateful for the opportunity to serve her husband and children, understanding that when you humbly serve others you are following the example Christ gave when he served others through his ministry.

At some point in our lives, we have or will be one of the examples spoken of. As we grow in our role and in experience, our attitudes can change. We can go from one of the more negative examples to a more positive one. At various points in my life, I have been many of these women. Sometimes having the characteristics of more than one at the same time.

When you read through these various types of helpmeets, did any of their descriptions touch your heart? The purpose in writing this is to draw attention to myself and others of how important it is to take a honest look at our attitude as we go through our tasks. Are our daughters seeing a positive example or are they watching us as we grumble through the tasks? Do we show them that they can find joy, peace, and fulfillment in the role of being a helpmeet & homemaker? Are we showing them that being a helpmeet is what the world describes in that a SAHM is an oppressed servant to her husband? Are we teaching our daughters to understand the difference?   Our example also affects our sons.  One day they will marry.  Our example of how to be a helpmeet will affect how they see the role of helpmeet.  After watching your example, what type of helpmeet will they seek out?

Untitled Comment

05:58, Wednesday, September 10, 2008 .. Posted by gabbie427

I am not sure which one I am, but I enjoyed reading this post very much. I plan on looking at this again later, and praying about it.

Gods' Blessings,
Amy Jo

Untitled Comment

06:13, Thursday, September 11, 2008 .. Posted by 1ladybeale

Hmm...Your post has caused me to think deeply about which type of helpmeet I am...hmm.. At different ages and times of my life I have probably been all of these examples. I am not proud to say that, but I do believe it is true. :(

I am older now and prayerfully wiser, not to mentioned I am growing in the LORD and His Word, so yes, I do believe I am changing. I find myself looking at younger wives just smiling and thinking, "Oh, time and the Holy Spirit will change that attitude." I also find myself, very gingerly, giving some much learned wisdom to these young ladies only to have them look at me as if I had three eyes, two noses and covered with green warts! :)

But again, time and the Holy Spirit will reveal sin and bring about the needed reformation and sanctification in the lives of these young women--of whom my heart goes out too.

Wonderful post! Thank you.
Most Sincerely,
Sharon