I have had several people ask me what had happened, were I am since I haven't blogged in a week.  It has been a busy week.  I have also been doing some heart searching on the FLDS and haven't felt much like writing.  

My heart hurts for the children and moms of the FLDS group.   So much of what is going on is such a gray area.   Is anyone 100% right or wrong?   What needs to be done?  What would really be in the best interest of these kids?  How will the state deal with over 400 MORE foster kids?  What is my role in helping?  What does God want me to do?  And the list goes on and one to be replayed over and over in my mind.  Most of these questions after a week I still have no answer too.   I guess the only answer I really have come up with is that it is wrong to give 13-14yo girls in marriage, to a man of any age, much less someone the age of many of these men.   Beyond that I have no answers, just lots of prayers for all involved.  Including CPS and the Judge.     I did at least feel like I was helping last week when I was ask to get a list of names of families willing to take these women and children as an intact unit.   It didn't happen, but I did get a list together.  I did what I was called to do.  I also offered raw milk and my 2 gallons of raw honey.   Of course neither were taken.  

Now what?  The judge has ruled these kids go to foster care.  In court it was stated: " Witness said typical foster care placement would not be ideal environment for the YFZ Ranch kids. Maybe at some point, it would be reasonable. Training for caregivers about the FLDS community is necessary because the children need a similar environment. That doesn't exist in traditional foster care."   So where do they go?  What type placement is right?  What am I called to do again?   We are getting our home study updated.  Are we called to take some of these kids if offered?  Should we offer?   Our home would feel more like "home" than a big city.  So the questions continue over and over in my head.  

I have come to a couple of answers.  I am open to fostering these children, but only if we are allowed to homeschool them.   I think throwing these kids into the public school system would be abuse.  I know how hard it was for one of mine in PS because he was "different".  His differences are no where near what these kids differences will be to start.   Add the publicity to it and these kids will be tormented terribly.   I also came to the conclusion for us anyway dealing with CPS is less of a pain than dealing with PS.  I did both when we adopted last time.  CPS was usually once a month.  PS was ongoing.  

As you can see my heart hurts and I have very few answers to the questions that swirl though my head day and night.   I have been in continual prayer about this and for all involved since it started.  It weighs heavy on my heart.  My prayer at this time is that each of these children will be placed in a strong compassionate Christian home where they will feel safe and learn that God loves them.  That they will feel His love and understanding.  That God will work through these foster families to heal the hurt that has been done to them.  Hurt by LOTS of adults, not just parents, but CPS also.  

On to other news and happenings.  We have had a two weeks off from school  We start back on Monday.  Kids have been begging for 2 weeks for me to install their school work.  I have the two older ones installed.  I still need to do T's.   I had planned on putting the Rosetta Stone on MJ's for him to learn Spanish this year.  It wouldn't load.  Don't you love Vista?   I did get it on another computer so he will have to switch computers.   I may have T switch with him and do brain builder on his as he does Spanish on hers.  That is still up in the air.  MN is learning sign language.... and teaching it to the the others :).   She is excited and has done it almost every day this last week.  It would be nice if the excitement of a new school year would last all year.  I don't see that happening though. 

The big kids roof is almost back on.  They still need to put the ridge row on top, add some flashing and I think that is it.   It looks really good!  I guess he did learn some in the years of growing up.  When he was 9 we had a terrible hail storm where we lived.   My DH and 2 boys along with a friends DH and her son roofed 9 homes and buildings after that.  Including one trailer where they did exactly what S had to do to his.   Life skills are so important.  

No news on the adoption front.  Adoption worker is supposed to be out on Friday.  Please pray  that goes well.  I have no clue if she will get to see the house as is or if I will be motivated to get it uncluttered before then.  I am not holding my breath on that happening!   Finger prints are done!  Please pray that they quickly go where they need to go.   I haven't heard anything from AR in almost a week.  I had thought I was going to get to be a "Mentoring Mom" to J. without the A word.  But... haven't heard so who knows.   I do know satan has been shooting little barbs one way and another at me about adoption.  Just the doubt, frustration etc.  I am standing firm with God's word and telling Satan to go fly a kite! 

Maybe that catches everyone up on our life this week.  I did break down and buy tomato plants yesterday.  I have had ONE plant come up in the garden.  Last year I had hundreds so who know why.   I need to plant them this afternoon.  Maybe I can do that while DH re plumbs the pool stuff.  If he can get it plumbed then we can put kids with brooms in and stir it up good to finish draining it and start filling it.  Should be fun.... NOT!

We do have two beeves ready to sell for beef.  I am hoping I can take the time this week to let everyone know the are ready for slaughter.   I hope I have takers soon.  I am tired of them getting out.   Besides that way I will have room to add one or two more that I have coming up.  They are almost ready, but not quite feed pen ready.   There is one more in the feed pen.  I have him ear marked MINE.  

Everyone have a blessed week!  I will try to post more often.