So, as often happens in life, we have had a change of plans. It's the sort of thing that should make a person step back and re-evaluate the situation. Which is what I fully expect we'll do once we stop reeling from the events of the past week. It's not that taking the house off the market came as a total shock. We had actually tossed the idea around several times over the winter. But now that it's done, we need some time to shift our focus off selling, and on to the present.
Our family needs some fixing. That's really hard to admit, as a parent. But we are having some issues with DS11. They are certainly not full-blown "teen" type issues, but there are some heart issues that need addressing immediately. It's been a rough week. We are wondering if he's acting out over our taking the house off the market. Can't seem to get any info out of him - of his own doing - but we are trying to get to the bottom of it. "Defiance" and "rebellion" are the two words that sum it up perfectly.
Maybe, when it comes down to it, we are not even ready to go to a camp. I'm the first to admit that my family is hardly the poster-child for "perfect exmple of a servant-heart, Christian family." How would I deal with my son's issues if our lives were out there, on display, for so many others to see? Perhaps, just maybe, we are right here in this house because it is precisely where we are supposed to be right now!
I'm still looking ahead to a "someday." I don't know when that day will come, but I still have dreams and as long as the Lord keeps those little fires burning in my heart, I will not let them die. Who knows, maybe He will smile upon us and grant our once-greatest-desire to return to Alaska....
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• Tuesday, May 6, 2008 - We aren't supposed to be perfect...
We are saved by grace because we can't get there on our own, we aren't perfect, and we need to be who God created us to be. We don't "clean up" before we come before God, or before we talk to the Lord, we come as we are, bent and broken, and ask Him to hold us in His arms.
I'll be praying for you ~ but don't let self-doubt come between you and what you feel God is leading you to do.
Remember, he didn't rescue the men from the furnace, he met them in the furnace and brought them safely out.
valarie