It is stormy out right now. I can't believe how it changed this afternoon. It was hot and sunny all day then the wind started blowing more than usual and the weather changed. We were without power for an hour. It is on now and the house is starting to cool off. We got much needed rain and so it makes the hot house worth it.
My garden is doing really good. We have yet to eat anything from it, but the harvest is near. The cucumbers and getting big. There are tomatoes and peppers on almost all of the plants. I can't wait to get my hands on the tomatoes.
We have started going to a church in Abilene. I wouldn't have thought of driving that far to go to church before, but we are starving for the taught word. We went last week, and we will go again tomorrow. I am excited to go.
My parents will be here tomorrow. I am so excited. I can't wait to see them. Pray for their safe trip.
We are working hard around here. Today we pruned the trees off of the roof. When the wind blows the tree branches rub on the house and scratch the roof. We don't want that! My son climbed on the roof and pruned the branches he could reach and the ones he could cut through without killing himself or falling off of the roof.
I did laundry, laundry, laundry. The kids have been swimming in the little pool all day (not my older kids....althought it was hot enough that it started to look appealing to me).
My six year old son said to me, "Mommy, remember when you used to wear pants?" I said, "Yes, but that was a long time ago." He said, "When you were bad?" I told him, "No women that wear pants aren't bad. I just wear skirts." We were both confused by the end.
The weather has been HOT here. It has been around 100 degrees. We need rain and the grass is starting to look dry. We water our garden because it is so hot, but last year we got enough rain where I barely had to water it at all. We have a ton of green tomatoes, pepper, and cucumbers.
Why are some people grudge holders and other people are not? I am not a grudge holder at all. If I have 5 minutes I am completely over whatever it is you did to me. I don't harbor anger or feel sad. I find it hard to imagine living with a grudge and something happening to the person you had a grudge with and you being able to live with yourself. I am a guilt ridden person. I carry guilt around and allow it at times to weigh me down. I know that there is forgiveness through Jesus Christ and all is washed clean, but I do this to myself. I can reason it away, but lots of times it is there and I live with it. It actually keeps me careful because I fear guilt. I don't want to make a mistake I can't live with.
I did my monthly grocery shopping. I spent a little too much. I am trying to stockpile a little food in case the truckers strike and food continues to climb. Last month I bought 100 pounds of ground beef. This month I bought 130 pounds of ground beef, I bought a case of pork loin (I don't know how many pounds the case was, but it had 5 two feet boneless loins in the box), and a case of stew meat. I am the house to go to if there is a problem. I have my stand up freezer full. I also bought more dry pinto bean, flour, rice, powdered milk, etc. I am full to overflowing with food here. I made a ranch bean recipe that is soooo good. If you buy ranch beans you won't have to anymore after trying this recipe. This recipe is made for my very large family so you could cut it in half or freeze what you didn't use.
4 cups of dried pinto beans
6 tablespoons of Fiesta brand Pinto Bean Seasoning (in the Mexican spice section of Wal-Mart)
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
2 tablespoons canola oil (or oil of your choosing)
8 oz can of tomato sauce
Soak the beans over night with ample water. Rinse and drain the beans in the morning. Cover the beans with fresh water. Make sure you have at least an inch or so of water above the beans. Bring the beans to a boil and lower it to a medium heat. Continue to boil the beans for an hour or so making sure there is always enough water covering them. If you need to add water make sure it is hot water. I add everything to the boiling beans and water except the tomato sauce. I continue to boil them for the next couple of hours letting the water mixture start to thicken (not too quickly or too thickly) while the beans soften. When the beans seem done and there is still sauce (I add water sometimes if I need more sauce and continue to boil it down some more) then add the tomato sauce. Cook to mix the sauce in. The beans are done. This is a family favorite for us. I put a container in the fridge and the kids will use them all week as desired or with a meal.
Well, I better get going there is so much that has to get done before I head to bed. Night, Brenda
People that don't know me wouldn't know the difference in me, but those who know me and are around me could see the difference in me. I was depressed. I have been searching and searching for what could be wrong with me. I didn't have a will to do anything any more. I stopped obsessing over things. I stopped sewing. I didn't read anymore. I didn't over clean or move things around. I just stopped loving life. I barely made it through the days. I didn't sleep through the nights. I just survived. I can talk about this now because I put the pieces together. So what have I don't to fix this problem in me...well I started purposely obsessing on things. I started working myself like crazy. I get up and get moving right away. I work and clean and work and clean some more. I used to obsess over things that mattered to me but maybe no one else would notice. I started again. I pressure myself into doing just one more thing. If I have a ten minute window I try to fit something into it that will matter to me. I am feeling sooooo much better!!!!! I started getting back into my routine and I am doing so good now. I was trying to blame everything for my lack of "will". Praise God He has shown me the way and has walked me back to my joy.
How is VBS going you ask??? One day done, four more to go. It went better than I could have imagined, but I am exhausted. We had 16 kids in the class which wouldn't have been bad if they were all well behaved kids. A couple of the kids I could wring their necks. I just breathed through it and I survived and they did also.
It is only 20 days until my parents come here for a visit. I am so excited. They are going to stay at my house for 2 weeks and then my sister's. I would love them to stay the whole month here, but my sister would be sad (I never did share well). I can't wait.
I better get going. I have things still on the list I want to get done before bed. I also started reading again....
Blessings,
Brenda
It was another hot one today. The wind blew ferociously (sp?) all day long. I was able to dry quite a few loads of laundry. My son finished the turkey run and arbor and now just has to make the gate. He trenched for the water pipe to put a faucet in the turkey run for their water. I think in the next day or so he will run the water. He has a long day at work tomorrow.
My parents are coming on the 28th of June. Hip, hip, horray!!!!!!! I can't wait.
I have been trying to keep busy and keep my mind busy. I seem to fall into some sort of depression (not sadness) when I am idol. I worked harder today and am feeling better right now. I am going to give this a try and see how I feel.
We have cucumbers and tomatoes. They are growing nice and steady now. I can't wait to start harvesting them. With the tomato thing here in Texas I will appreciate the tomatoes.
Today was a nice day. I went into town to get a few errands done. I got all I needed to get done. I was given a Kung Pao (spicy Chinese chicken) recipe and tonight I tried it. It was sooooo good. I love Panda Express and there aren't any out in my neck of the woods....there isn't a lot of anything in my neck of the woods. I usually would get steamed rice and kung pao chicken. A friend of mine gave me the recipe to help me get over the loss of my beloved chicken. I will post it if anyone else is interested in trying it.
My son worked on a turkey pen. Our full grown male turkeys are eating out of our garden. Instead of caging them, we are making a large area for them to roam. This is nice for them, but keeps them out of my garden. The turkeys aren't as happy to have to just wander where we have them, they want to go everywhere.
I worked in the area around my house today. I actually worked in the front of the house pruning the bushes and mowing the grass. I had a good following of kids so we got a lot done in the short time we had to work on it.
I did laundry. It was windy today, so the clothes were soft and dried quickly. I have learned to love and appreciate the wind.
Ever feel like you are alone and wandering in the wilderness? I think a lot...sometimes too much for my own good. I want to know what I should be doing. Am I in God's will? Should I be doing something else? Should I be here or there? I pray and pray. I wait and wait. I am learning patience. I am learning to sit quiet and listen (this one I have not yet mastered....I am always thinking God might need suggestions on things). What do you have for me God?
VBS starts on Sunday night. Pray for me. I am not a team player (sounds funny coming from a mom of 14). I work best alone.
Have a nice one. Brenda
I haven't been blogging. I have kinda been hibernating. My house has been sick for weeks now and still going. My husband has been sick for a week now. It isn't a cold but more like a virus or the flu. Most of the kids are fine.
We served at the nursing home ministry today. I say served loosely. We love visiting with the residents and getting to know them enough to say something to cheer them up. There were a couple of new residents. It is amazing how clear headed they seem to come into the home and because it isn't home (it is a fabulous place as far as nursing homes go). They lose hope. They start out thinking maybe it is a temporary situation, and when they lose their hope they start to go down hill fast. I wouldn't ever put my parents in a home. I would be honored to take care of them if they ever needed it.
I had a VBS meeting tonight. Our churches VBS is next week. I am teaching the pre-5 group. I think it will work out okay. I was raised committment phobic and have trouble committing to things, but I always survive them, it is just the thought of them ahead of time that gets me. My parents have the same thing. They are coming to visit "the third week in June". How many people say, "the third week in June" when you ask when they are coming. So I asked my mom if they had a date, and she just repeated what my committment phobic father told her...."third week in June". They know what day they are leaving. They just aren't sharing that information with us yet so they aren't committed to leave on that day if they want to change their minds. They wouldn't be committed either way, but that is how this committment thing works.
I had the best conversation with my mom the other day. I was feeling down and needed to get my "mom tank" refilled. She and I talked about a number of things. We laughed at ourselves and compared how we were feeling. It felt nice. I can't wait until they come to visit. The one thing that would get me to move back to Vegas, is my mom and dad.
My sister came for a short visit because of the nursing home. She couldn't stay long because her son had a baseball game. He is such a great ball player. He loves it, too. My son's baseball season ended. They were undefeated. He didn't really care, he just wanted a medal. He got his wish. I am glad the season isn't long. It is already getting hot out here and I wouldn't want to have him playing during the hotter weather.
Tomorrow I am going into town to buy a few more decorations for the VBS thing. I have to decorate the room I am using. I already applied a layer of decorations, now I need to add to it.
Have a nice night.
Brenda
We have a horse named Asahel (Biblical name). We have gotten used to the horse and over time have started calling him Asa. My 6 year old son is part owner of this horse. He came to me the other day and asked me if he could change his middle name to something other than Hell. What do you say???? Then he came to me this afternoon and asked me if he could change his cats name from Michael to something else. I told him we were used to Michael and he could add a second name if he wanted. So now Michael is officially Michael Luke Skywalker (am I going to survive all of this?).
My sister came over today so we could go to the nursing home for the Bible study. It was a nice visit, but a sad one all the same. A couple of our favorites aren't doing so well. We did get a couple of new people to sit through the study and visit with us. They love the kids and we love them.
We are in a severe thunderstorm watch. It doesn't really mean too much yet, but with all of the nasty weather the other states have had Texas is on high alert. I hope it at least brings the much needed rain. We are getting dry.
My daughter made enchiladas and homemade spanish rice for dinner. It was a delicious meal but dirtied so many dishes and pans. We have to make so many for our size family and make extra for lunch tomorrow that we used all of our stones, a pot, all of the plates and forks. Plus my other daughter made an apricot pie and an applesauce cake for dessert and that created more dishes. I know I stood there at least 30 straight washing dishes.
I have to get back into quilting. I cleaned up my quilting stuff when we went on vacation, but now I am having sewing withdrawals. I might sew some dresses for my girls, but they don't really need any right now. When I went to Vegas I shopped second hand and got lots of skirts and shirts for the girls. I want to make a few dresses, maybe with Christmas in mind.
Have a nice night. Stay safe if you are in the bad weather areas.
All is well over here. I had been sick with the flu. I am better now. My daughter that got bit by the who-knows-what is doing fine. Everyone is just busy with life. I just spent the last half an hour writing a blog entry just to accidentally hit something that made me lose my entry. I am ready to scream.
It is very hot out here and the garden is suffering without the needed rain. We have been working in the garden every night to make decent wells around the plants to hold the water needed to live without wasting any water (I am a water nut). So now instead of filling the valley or watering the mound you just fill the well around each plant and that is enough for the day. We water them at night and they are looking fabulous. I didn't appreciate the garden and rain last year and now I feel guilty about it. I should have cherished each and every tomato instead of complaining about all of the work it took to can them.
We killed four chickens yesterday to barbecue today along with hamburgers and hotdogs. Patty and her family are coming over, but my sister decided not to drive here because of the high price of gas. She spent Saturday with us and will be up her again on Tuesday for the nursing home ministry. I am sad she isn't coming because she will never notice the amount of money saved on gas, but will always regret now coming here. I do understand her decision because it is 30 miles each way (if she wanted to have the barbecue I would have come up 
!) I know she will read this so I want to heap as much guilt as possible on her.....just kidding 
.
Well. Have a Happy Memorial Day. Enjoy the freedoms that many have died to give you. Say an extra prayer for the soldiers out there right now fighting for the freedoms to continue and others countries to have the same gift.
Blessings,
Brenda
Today wasn't suppose to rain as of yesterday, but it rained. It hasn't continually rained, but sprinkled here and there all afternoon. My boys were working in the garden again all day. We now have strawberries in. I am sure our seasons are off and things won't grow perfectly, but this is the only time we could plant and we have a growing season until at least the end of October, maybe longer.
I started working on another quilt. This one is going to be flowers in all kinds of pinks. I am making the quilt square and trying to work on something different from what I have made before.
There is bull riding tonight in town. We are planning on taking the kids. I would like to back out and stay home because of the weather, but unless it really starts to rain the kids will be too disappointed. I know they are going to have some kid events, but I am not going to have the kids do them. We are only going to watch.
One of my daughters got bit by something and it swelled up on her wrist a couple of inches wide and half an inch swollen up. She got a red line from the bite to her arm pit. She showed me the line yesterday after she came home from work. She said she got bit the night before but developed the line the next day. I didn't panic because she had it over 24 hours already and if it was going to kill her I expected it to have already happened. The second thing was she was feeling fine. I gave her Benedryl (sp) and kinda just watched her. Four hours later she took Benedryl again and went to bed. This morning the line was gone and she was alive. If I had been afraid, I would have taken her into the emergency room (it doesn't mean I know anything...just telling you what I thought).
I broke my arm/elbow as a girl and now on some days it hurts me like crazy. Today is one of those days when my elbow is killing me. Yesterday I mowed and the mower vibration irritated it more than usual. I can't bend in up very far. Extending it out isn't painful, just bending it up.
Well, I better get the kids dressed for the weather and the bull riding.
Brenda
Right after I was blogging last night my husband checked our very due mama goat and she had her baby during the storm. She had a little girl we named Angelina.
The weather was cool and nice today. We worked in the garden all day. I say "we" loosely because my boys worked in the garden today and I kept them company. They planted more cucumber and green beans. Plus they weeded the areas that needed it. I did some mowing here and there.
The most exciting thing today was when we were out in the far field fixing fences and we saw a skunk. Then the skunk started to act funny and became confrontational (we then knew it had rabies because of a skunk my sister had at her house). One of my sons ran for a gun and the other stayed with me. My survivor son that stayed with me hit it with a stick causing it to fall over. By this time, my other two sons were running back with the gun. One of them killed it and then we triple black bagged it.
We fixed fences today in the back where the good-for-nothing goats had been escaping to eat leaves. We worked for an hour or so on the fences until the skunk episode happened. Then we moved to the garden.
I went to a friend of mines sons baseball game tonight. They wanted us to go and see them play and with the night being cool and nice we went. It ended up being a nice night.
I am finally starting to get back into a routine again. I have organized my household again. We have been working in the garden. The square of potatoes is doing wonderful. We have 56 tomato plants, 36 pepper plants, 8 watermelon plants, there are 4 cucumber plants in right now but we have to put at least 4 more in there. We have planted cilantro, basil, and oregano for our spaghetti sauce. When we were in Vegas on vacation we assume the turkeys and peahens ate the onions and garlic because they are always in the garden. We still have a lot of room in the garden to put whatever else we want to grow. We have green beans to plant but haven't gotten their section ready yet.
Monday we had a baby goat born. It is a baby girl we named Jean. Then yesterday we had another baby goat born. This one is a boy we named Flower (mother is Thumper and Flower on Bambi is a boy....long dumb story, but we named him Flower). We have another mama about to kid soon, also. She is looking more than ready.
My son has over 20 turkey chicks hatched and doing great. We are trying to become self sufficient and by raising the turkeys and chickens we are beginning to get that way. We have quite a few chickens that we could eat if it were necessary. We have 3 full grown male turkeys ready to eat. They are huge now.
We were in a terrible storm system tonight. We were in a tornado warning for over an hour. We are in a watch right now. My sister was at church when the warning came in for my county and by the time she got out of church her county was in the warning. She had a scary drive home from church. We were praying her through this horrible time. She made it safely home and was glad to be home.
I stocked up on food, especially staples. There is rumor of a truckers strike because of the gas being so high. If the truckers strike it will be hard to get supplies in and out of cities. In fact, at Sam's Club they are limiting the rice. I was getting empty here because I did smaller groceries in March and April to have extra money for vacation. I bought 75 pounds of flour, 25 pounds of sugar, 25 pounds of rice, 25 pounds of pinto beans, and lots and lots of other things. I spent $650 at Sam's. Then the next day I went to Wal-Mart and got all of my Wal-Mart stuff (food and bathroom stuff) and spent another $600. Then I went to our neighborhood market and bought the stuff I buy there and spent another $40. I have so much food in the house right now. Plus I went into Tractor Supply and bought all of the animal supplies for the month. I am stocked and ready for at least a month, if not more.
We have been busy preparing for something....who knows what?????....but I am prepared for it.
Well all is peaceful on the farm. We returned from vacation in Las Vegas. A good friend of mine followed me back with her family. I had a great time with her all week. She got to see life out here "in person" and put all she has heard in perspective. She brought 12 of her kids with her and her husband flew in 5 days later. Then they stayed for another 5 days before they had to leave. I wish they could have stayed longer. I know her kids had a great time. I pray she had a great time, too.
I hope to be able to blog regularly again. My life feels slow and quiet. I felt like I had a lot of kids before we had house guests, but after having 4 adults and 26 kids in the house I feel like my house is empty (I would take visitors anytime...it gets lonely out here in Texas). Other than that, everything is going okay....OH! We had to have our favorite horse put to sleep. She got sick when I was gone on vacation, and got worse and worse until it became hopeless. We are all so sad.
Happy Mother's Day!
Brenda
I haven't written in a while. It is hard to get into the writing thing after being away from it for a while. I am back in Texas. Great friends of ours followed us back to Texas for a visit. They have 12 of their kids with them. We have had a great time, but it is busy and a lot of kids. I love have them here. Will write soon.
The weather in Vegas continues to be beautiful. Today got a little windy but I am used to the winds in Texas. Wind now represents clothes blowing on the line. I love wind (not too hard of winds).
My kids were invited to my brothers house for a sleepover. They have an old boat in their very large (one acre in Vegas is huge) back yard. The boat is like a play house that their kids play in and on. My four year old daughter was playing on the boat and fell off on her face. She looks terrible. It is a desert here. Her face is scatched up and bruised. I am going to see how it looks tomorrow. If it doesn't look any better I might take her in to make sure she didn't break her nose or eye socket. She is now feeling really good right now.
We have a week left here in Vegas. We leave next Sunday. My daughter has her dance on Friday. She went looking for a dress today, but didn't have any luck finding anything. She brought a dress in case she didn't find anything here. We are probably going to look on Monday.
My sister and I were laughing the other day because we came all the way from Texas to Las Vegas and we have spent more time together than apart. We are still each others person we are most like. It is easy to be around her and her family.
Have a nice night.
Well I got my mom fix. Today was such a great day with my mom. We went to dinner and then did some second hand shopping. To finish off the night we picked up ice cream cones and headed home. I feel so much better. I am lacking the "mom" vitamin as well as many others I am sure. I came home and took a long bath and read for a little while. Most of my kids are at my brother and sister-in-laws house for a sleepover.
My daughter is going to the prom with a friend of hers here in Vegas. My sister is treating my daughter to having her hair done for the prom. She is so excited (well we all are).
The weather has been beautiful. I have been enjoying the beautiful and predictable days. It is much drier out here than I remember. I guess since being in Texas we got used to the humidity and now the dry heat feels harsh. I also don't remember noticing the heat the same way. I am getting to be a softy I think.
blessings,
Brenda
I am sitting here in my kitchen (in Vegas) and all of the kids are in bed and the house is quiet. There aren't very many things in the house because they are all in Texas. The few furnishings that are scattered around are mixed matched and worn. My wonderful parents filled the house with food and supplies so we would be comfortable. They brought a dish set over, pans, utensils, linens, and so much food. You would have thought they knew I was coming into town on an extremely tight budget. Then a friend of mine (a great friend of mine) brought tons of chicken, bags of chips and salsa, coffee cakes, bagels and bread, and the comfort only a friend can give. I am so blessed.
I am feeling down. I am so happy to be here visiting my parents. I am so happy to have made the trip safely and without any problems. I am so blessed to have my good friend following me home to Texas for a visit with me. I am so blessed to have this house to stay in while we are here. Then why am I blue? What keeps me a little in the dark in my happy moments, especially lately. You don't know me so it is hard to know, but I am generally a "get over it and move on" type of person. I feel like as I get older I am more sensitive to my place in the world. I am aware that I affect everyone's life that comes into contact with me. I can impact it in a good way, a bad way, or just indifferent. I am trying to impact the world in a way that they know I know Jesus. That not a negative thing would be believed if it was said about me. I want to climb into a closet and cry. I want to scream out all of my sadness and hope someone hears and understands. I want to feel the control I used to feel over my life. The closer I get to God the less control I know I have. My flesh screams out for control. I kick and scream trying to gather control up. God is in control. He's got my back. For a control freak like me, I have to pray through this tough time. I have to leave the driving to God and know He has it covered. I will be better off. I feel emotionally drained. I feel ungrateful. I will be better soon. I just need to work through this. I feel lost.
Church was great. It felt wonderful to worship and learn. To see old faces and meet new ones. I was happy to be back in our old church. I missed it. We are in a Baptist church in Texas and it isn't the same. Well, I better go read my Bible (to gather renewed strength) and much needed sleep (I am on an air mattress).
Night.
We are in Vegas now. We left Texas on Friday. We traveled all day Friday and Saturday. We got here in Vegas on Saturday afternoon. It has been a whirlwind since. It has been so nice to see my parents and my brothers. I was so missing everyone. I can't believe how nice it feels to be here. At the same time it is so much uglier than I remember. Everything is beige and creams. I forgot how many people are on the road at the same time. I don't miss any of that. I do miss family and all of the shopping Vegas offers. When I say shopping I am referring to thrift store and second hand shopping. I have been shopping since I got here for clothes to last until I come back again. I love second hand shopping.
My husband is home taking care of the farm. We had another baby goat this morning. He was there. Lorraine had two kids, but the first one was still born and he couldn't revive it. The second one was born very bruised in the legs. The surviving baby is a boy he named Charles. He is nursing well and doing good.
I am missing Texas. My garden is growing weeds as we speak. When we get back I have so much to do. I have to get the rest of the stuff in the garden. I will have to give my husband a much needed rest from all of the chores after his two weeks of caring for the place all alone.
I will try to blog more, but I have been very emotional lately. I hope we made the right decision moving because my parents seem to miss us. I know I sure missed them. Have a great one.
Blessing, Brenda
Who would have thought that I would have a funeral for a cat? Anyone who knows me knows that I take life by the neck and “just get over it” is closer than anything to my attitude. Today has been a horrible day. One of the mama cats died. She had eclampsia. I started noticing her acting odd last night, and by this afternoon she was dead. My daughter (my whole family) is devastated. It was my daughter’s cat and she is totally a fragile girl to begin with and this is going to be hard on her. So we had a funeral of sorts. I didn’t really know what else to do to make her feel like there is some closure. The hard thing is she has 6 kittens. So far the other 3 cats have taken turns feeding her babies. They started doing this last night. It is so weird, it’s like they knew something was wrong. One of the other mamas in particular is overly motherly. She has been stealing her kittens for days now. I also have kitten formula and a bottle.
Each time something happens it seems like I am barely able to survive it, but we get through it. Believe it or now I am the strongest person a lot of people know. I try to keep everything to myself. It is easy to put on the strong face and push through... the hard part is admitting to emotions (besides anger).
As anyone that reads this knows, I haven't been blogging lately. It started with one of the quads dying. I felt so sad about this. I was so disappointed that I had committed so much to them and one died for no apparent reason. Then four of our cats had kittens within a three day time frame. We have a total of 19 kittens. We obviously aren't keeping them all (my sister and a friend are taking some). Then I have to get the females fixed. We still have one pregnant cat to go. The quads (well missing Butch 
) suffered from bloat and had to be taken off milk replacer. Because it was time to wean Belle we started milking her mom and giving the quads the milk. They are doing so much better.
We are going on vacation to Vegas next Friday. I am dreading it and absolutely so excited at the same time. It is an expense I don't really have and I am missing my parents so much.
We have been working in the garden. It is time for us to get the rest of the veggies in before we leave on Friday. The potatoes are up and some of the corn. I see a few of the garlic, but no beets yet.
We got a new horse. She is a three year old buckskin mare. I will take a picture of her soon. She isn't broken yet because my husband wanted an unbroke horse. She is sweet and seems easy natured. We have hatched 8 ducks, and 20 something chicks. We are drowning in animals. I feel like the zoo keeper without the staff or facilities. We are doing fine, but it is exhausting. Most days I am fine, but lately I have felt sad.
My husband goes to Vegas for quarterly doctor's appointments. This time while he was there he kinda hinted that maybe we were better off in Vegas with all of the opportunities it has to offer instead of here with all of the space. It just makes me second guess our decision to move here. We totally felt it was God that lead us here and now that we are here we are confused. I am sure it is the enemy, but it brings me down. Vegas only offers financial advantages nothing more. We have lived there for just about my whole life. I always felt like there was something more than it had to offer.
Now I am sitting at the kitchen table blogging and wondering what I am doing. Is opportunity more important than getting back to basics? Is the rich man any better off than the poor man? I wonder sometimes. When I get weak I also second guess our decision to be dresses only. I know wearing pants isn't a sin but is it right for my family? I wonder...We are always the freaks everywhere we go. I want to just fit in and feel normal somewhere...Am I the only one that feels this? I just keep pumping along. The feels always pass and I continue on.
My two sixteen year olds just got their learner's permits to drive. I am excited. I already have 4 drivers in the house, but there never seems to be enough drivers or vehicles. My kids are getting old.
Hope everyone has been well. Thanks for reading and being concerned about me not writing. I am alive and well (well sort of).
Blessings,
Brenda
I have been thinking about Aunt Mary (the great aunt that lived with me in Vegas and I took care of since 2001...she died at age 89 in Nov.) all day. I first thought of her because my husband took my little ones to the corner store (5 miles away) to buy a little treat. My house was so quiet. I was thinking what it would be like without all of the kids underfoot (my aunt never had children and died a lonely woman by choice). I am so thankful to have a house full of children.
I went to church this morning for the first time in two weeks because I have been sick. It felt nice to be back in church. We had a fill in for our Sunday school class and he was refreshing. He asked us a question that stayed with me all day as well. If you were to stand trial for being a Christian and you couldn't take the stand would there be enough evidence to convict you of being a Christian? Would people be able to see how you live, hear how you talk, watch how you act, and feel how you love? The more I thought about the question the more convicted I became.
We are suppose to have some strong storms blow through here tonight and into tomorrow. I think we are ready for them. I took the clothes off of the line. The quads are settled for the night. All of the things that could get ruined in the rain were put away. The chicks are in. We refilled the gallon water today. We have enough food and animal food to last a couple of days. I don't really know what else to worry about. We lose water when we lose power because we have a well. One day we will have generator backup, but for now we don't have water if the power goes out.
I pray for everyone struggling with weather issues. Stay safe.
Brenda