Sunday, May 11, 2008
Mothers' Day Reflections
 It's Mother's Day, today. It feels like "just any other day". A day like all the rest. Sibling squabbles. Messy rooms surrounding me. Laundry piles growing. Food to be cooked and served. Dirty diapers to change. Yes, today is just a day like any other. My voice rises and the stress increases within me. Surely one day these "pressure points" will cause some sort of heart attack. It cannot be good for my high blood pressure! Why can I not quit reacting!? Why don't these children learn!? There's too many of them, and too few of me. They deserve so much more! So much better! I am not the mother they should have. I'm hardly any better than some of the careless women I've observed while out and about, scolding their children... exasperated... obviously lacking enjoyment of them... How am I any different? How are my children any better off than other children who might be carted off to daycare every day with relief? How are my children any better off than others who are sent outside to play so Mom can watch a favorite TV show in peace? Doesn't God think these children under my roof deserve better than what I have to offer? Wouldn't they have been better off with another set of parents? Another mother? I make so many mistakes! I'm so utterly impatient and hot-tempered! I'm overwhelmed and look forward to 8pm when the day can begin to draw to a welcome close. What good mother thinks like that!? As I sit here typing, I can hear the wind chime my oldest two girls bought me for Mother's Day, tinkling away outside. I did not deserve that gift! I've been less than pleasant so far, today. I've felt sorry for myself more than once. I've raised my voice impatiently a few times. I even threatened to throw away a wreck of toys that wouldn't be budged despite countless requests and reminders. Ohhhh, my two-year-old just came up to me and hugged my knees tightly and said, "MMmmmmmum!" I hugged him back, gladly. "Mmummmmmm! I love you!" His grin melted my heart. I glance over at the two little ones on the couch reading books to one another. One smiles up at me, proudly. She's so happy she's learned to read! The baby is crawling about by my feet, occasionally using me as a support to stand up against. Sucking her little fingers while looking about, innocently. Sweet! And now... Now the oldest three children just returned home from church. The front door opened unexpectedly and their cheerful faces and happy greetings reminded me of the love I hold for these precious, albeit often perplexing, challenging children! I thank God for blessing me with them. I look forward to the rest of today, and am resolved to be the parent they do deserve with God's strength, grace and wisdom. The difference between my children and those of other women who do not appreciate their children, I decide, is my faith in God. My absolute reliance on Him. And hopefully, my example. Surely my children will see my frequent stumblings. How could they not? But I'm equally convinced that they will also notice my willingness to repent to them and God ... and my determined effort to raise them for His glory. If anything good comes from my efforts at parenting... it will only be because of my Lord and Savior's hand in it! |
Thoughts
Monday, May 12, 2008 - Untitled Comment
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