Keep the Homefires Burning
Private heartache {
08:07 PM
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Friday, January 25, 2008
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For many reasons, I have been employed full-time this year (I'm a public school teacher -- fortunately I work for our district's homeschool partnership!) while my hubby has stayed at home with our boy to head up the homeschooling (and if you knew my husband a year ago your jaw would drop in amazement that he's doing this!!). We pulled Jack from school in the spring of '07 because of behavior issues and he's still not ready for the pressures, both academic and peer, found in public school. While I am thankful to God for providing me a truly dream job, I am heartsick that I am not the one home with Jack. I have not shared this with my hubby because he carries that "male" burden of not being the bread-winner and I don't want to add to his own stress and worries. However, when I am in the midst of the cold, dark, morning commute to work I find myself longing...yearning...to be the one at home. As much as I adore my husband, he is not a committed Christian and he doesn't incorporate scripture or Bible verses/stories in Jack's daily school time. I'm not saying that every subject should center around a Bible verse, but our time to mold and shape Jack's character is NOW! I continue to gently remind my husband that we are called to raise this young boy into a fine young man and we can't do it alone. I have found that I am so exhausted at the day's end and yet my sparkler of a son still needs an energetic mom until he crashes at 7pm (sometimes as early as 6:30!). Working full time, being responsible for dozens of children throughout the day, takes its toll on me and that's not fair to the one child God has placed in my hands who needs me desperately. Not to mention my husband who deserves a bright, happy wife instead of the haggard woman I feel like by Friday afternoon! My secret prayer is that God will orchestrate our lives in such a way that next school year I will be home while hubby goes back to work. (Hubby is looking forward to Jack getting back into "regular" school. I, on the other hand, would like to keep him home for a couple of more years.) Of course, we need to be able to live on his teacher's salary which is a bit less than mine. Right now we can barely make it on what I bring home. Or perhaps I can be a part-time certificated consultant for the school I teach at now. That way I can work from home. Ahhhhh...as I said, I daydream a lot. Whatever happens, I know that God is in control, He has a plan for my family, He loves us with an unending love, and that NOTHING is impossible for Him. Blessings! { Last Page } { Page 31 of 75 } { Next Page } |
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