Home Sweet Simple Home
Whats going on
Well, it’s the middle of the week and so far I’ve been able to stick to my driving plan for the week. Plus the price of gas was $3.75 when I filled up on Monday so I’m saving a bit more than I had calculated on. A good thing.Mr. Steady had to move up his massage therapy and so that is a cost I wasn’t planning on this week.
I’m also very excited to announce that this week we will be sending off the final payment on a debt settlement. Leaving us with only ONE account left to settle. I have sent a settlement offer letter to this last one and continue to wait (a bit anxiously) for them to respond. I continue to pray and put it in God’s more-than-capable hands.
The end of this chaos seems so near and yet so far away if we can’t settle this account for a “reasonable” amount. I am determined not to worry.
How do I do that?
By reminding myself daily (sometimes minute by minute) of all the ways God has provided for us time and time again. How He has made a way for us in the midst of the chaos. And more simply- How He has continually supplied our needs again and again and again.
And again.
I do believe He will continue to make a way for us.
We are also currently ahead of our plan on having a “full” emergency fund- much to Mr. Steady’s surprise and delight.
God is so good.
Lets look at what I've learned
Recapping what I’ve learned:I learned that you should never ever enter into an agreement with a debt counseling, debt solutions, debt settlement or debt consolidation agency (or any other name they might have).
I learned that I should have, when I realized that I could no longer make even my minimum monthly payments--- I should have contacted the credit card companies immediately and worked our arrangements with them myself. [I didn’t know this was an option until I’d already signed on with the debt counseling agency.] The credit card companies actually do want to work with you because some money is better than no money.
I learned to keep a file of every piece of paper that has to do with my finances, especially debts, and to keep copious notes of any and all correspondence (fax, voice mail, email, snail mail, phone calls) including the date and time of each.
I’ve learned to trust God more than ever before.
I’ve learned to lean on Him and depend on Him in ways I have never done before.
I’ve learned that I am not good at maintaining our budget unless I have someone holding me accountable (Mr. Steady).
I’ve learned that it is easier for me to stay on budget and keep track of all spending when we use the cash envelope system.
I’ve learned that I don’t need all those things I thought I did.
I’ve learned that instant gratification can really be a bad thing.
I’ve learned that planning and waiting and accumulating for purchases (vs. instant gratification) really makes you take stock of whether you actually need it or even want it.
I’ve learned- really learned better the value of “Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without”.
I’ve learned that I actually find much joy and satisfaction in living within that phrase I just wrote.
I’ve learned to pray about all matters- from the need for car repairs to come in on budget to the purchase of a pair of needed khaki pants. [I remember praying about white T-shirts- I picked up two shirts for the girls at the store but hemmed and hawed about the purchase all the way thru the store because I knew we didn’t even have the extra $8 for those two shirts- I prayed about it and put the shirts back. That evening my momma brought me a bag of clothes she had purchased at Goodwill- with 2 brand spanking new white T-shirts inside. God knows our needs- we need to ask!!]
I’ve learned that there is no real need that God does not supply.
I’ve learned that coffee ice cream is not such a need.
I’ve learned the joy of being financially accountable for our finances to my husband- no more shame, no more allowing him to be oblivious.
I’ve learned the joy of cheap date nights.
I’ve learned the joy of coming home from a vacation that was not only totally paid for but we came back with money in our pockets! [As opposed to the old me that would put about half the vacation on the dreaded credit card.]
I’ve learned that I do not miss shopping. I have not been to a mall in 3 years.
I’ve learned to pray about all purchases- yes, even groceries.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to be honest and tell others that you can’t afford something.
I’ve learned that it’s even okay to opt out of the huge family holiday gift exchange.
I’ve learned that I don’t feel guilty for opting out of that gift exchange- but relieved and light-hearted.
I’ve learned that by stepping up and having the courage to say NO to even the good things that others will be glad you did and join you. (Once I was honest with my family about not having the means for the gift exchange others totally agreed and said they’d been trying to find a way to opt out for years! Go figure!)
I’ve learned to find deeper appreciation in the small things- such as making my own iced coffee, going to a free museum, a quick car ride to watch fireworks from the driveway of a nearby field (with popcorn we hurriedly popped beforehand), bike rides, picnics and family camp fires.
I’ve learned that God is nudging me to a new level of hospitality available to me due to what He’s been teaching me these past 2.5 years.
I’ve learned a better understanding of a want and of a need.
I’ve learned to dig deeper to pursue lining up my heart’s desires with the Lord’s.
I’ve learned that in lining up those desires the blessings are uncountable.
I’ve learned that God’s ways are ALWAYS better than mine.
I’ve learned that my family can not only survive but thrive on a combined family income that is quite a bit less than $40K. Quite a bit less.
I’ve learned that money doesn’t buy happiness. [Some lessons you just have to learn for yourself.]
I’ve learned that some things are worth waiting and saving for.
I’ve learned that some things aren’t.
I’ve learned that it makes a whole lot more sense to rely on God rather than on myself or on that darn debt counseling company.
I’ve learned that God is compassionate and loving enough to help me clean up my mistakes. And better than I could have cleaned them up on my own.
I’ve learned that God has forgiven me and does not hold those mistakes against me. As far as the east is from the west.
I’ve learned to forgive myself.
I’ve learned to see the blessings in the midst of pain and adversity and to cherish those blessings.
I’ve learned the value of meeting God on my knees.
I’ve learned that my prayer life has grown exponentially these last 30 some months.
I’ve learned that the more time I spend talking with God the less time I have to worry and the less inclination I have to worry.
I’ve learned the power of key bible verses hidden in my heart and written everywhere as reminders.
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Oh my, I could just go on and on about all I’ve learned. It never ceases to amaze me how many extra lessons I’m learning along the way as God teaches me to be a better steward! And all the extra blessings to boot!
But most of all
I’ve learned that the only one I want to be indebted to is the Good Lord!
Sharing more of my debtor story
What this has taught me so farIn the past I was not a careful manager of our money. Oh, there were times when I would get super organized, create a budget and stick to it.
For about two or three months.
Then I would go right back into my old spending habits.
I had see-it-want-it-buy-it- itus. Instant gratification, oh yeah baby.
Oodles of things I just thought we couldn’t live without.
It wasn’t big things necessarily- instead it was little things. A $30 purchase here a $20 purchase there. If went errand running to 3 different stores and overspent by $25 each store- that’s $75 over budget. It didn’t look so bad in my mind because I was only seeing it as smaller purchases- I was always thinking, “Hey, it’s just an extra $20 bucks- we can afford an extra $20.”
Truth be told- we couldn’t even afford an extra $5.
All these purchases were paid for, by you guessed it,
Credit cards.
I knew it was bad when the budget was so lousy (due to all those credit card bills) that I started putting groceries on the credit card.
My Grampa & momma always told me you don’t put perishable goods on credit- “things you’ll eat and po*p out tomorrow” is what Grampa would say. Momma was more tactful and said that by the time the bill comes you don’t have anything to show for it. I agreed and at first I listened.
And then I didn’t.
I remember once when I put myself on a strict diet- one month cold turkey, no use of credit cards. I didn’t tell anyone I was doing it- heck, nobody knew we had a credit card debt problem, not even Mr. Steady. So I went one month cold turkey- no accountability either since I couldn’t/wouldn’t tell anyone of the problem. I barely made it through the month. I distinctly remember cashing in pop cans in order to be able to buy the bare minimum of groceries that last week. I was sweating bullets. It was painfully obvious that we couldn’t even meet our bills and needs due to my overspending.
And so this is when you think I realized I had to stop. It totally shames to me to admit that not only did I not stop- I got a new offer in the mail to transfer a balance to another card for 0 percent interest and a larger credit limit.
And I did.
And things went on for another year or so. Until one day when I realized that the monthly outgo outweighed the monthly incoming by about $350. Even if I stopped using the credit cards (three of which were at their limits) we wouldn’t make ends meet. I checked with a “Christian” debt consolidation company and was told that they could consolidate all my credit card debt into one monthly payment and it would be paid off in 4.5 years. The problem was the monthly payment didn’t decrease from what I was already paying- which I now knew I could not keep paying.
At this point, hindsight being what it is- I wish someone had told me about Dave Ramsey. I wish someone had assured me that I could actually work with the credit card companies myself- that I didn’t need a go-between. But I wasn’t broadcasting my shame, no one knew the secret therefore no one knew I needed advice. Instead this nice “Christian” debt consolidation company told me that I was a candidate for debt solutions (aka debt settlement) and gave me a number to contact. The person who spoke with me was wonderful, of course. And best of all, or so I thought, he even prayed with me!! I though I was on track- I thought this was God making a way for me.
I got sucked in just like the little old lady who sends her life savings to the televangelist who supposedly is gonna heal her thru the TV screen.
I totally bought it when they assured me that I would make one monthly payment to them (which was about $400 less than I was paying out at the time) and they would in turn pay my creditors. They assured me that all of my creditors would accept their proposals and work with them. “We do this all the time,” he said. “Trust me,” he said. “We’re gonna get this all taken care of for you and you’ll be debt free in 3 and ½ years- maybe even sooner. Yeah, really, I guarantee it won’t be more than 3.5 years and you’ll be re-establishing your credit.”
What he should have said would have been, “Ok, Amy, you send us $xxx amount each month and we’ll work on paying off your debts. BUT you need to understand that some of your creditors won’t accept our proposal. They will sue you. Probably garnish your accounts and go after your wages. You will have to go to court. And Amy, just so you completely understand- I’m not going to let you know in advance if a creditor won’t work with us and when they do serve you with papers, I will no longer be able to help you with that debt and you’ll have to work on it on your own. In fact, I won’t even tell you what to do when you’ve been served- I won’t even return your calls. But I will, however, expect you to continue to pay the amount stated in a timely manner as set up in our contract. And just so you completely understand, not only will we charge you a monthly service fee to sit on your money (until we deem enough has been accumulated to make an offer of settlement) but we will expect you to pay us an additional settlement fee for each account we settle. This fee with be 30 percent of the difference.”
Since I am a pretty sensible person, I’m pretty sure I would have opted out if the dude had been truthful. Which is quite obviously why he wasn’t.
And so I remained blissfully unaware for the first year. Yeah, I was served with a court paper and various other mailings but I did as I was told and just folded them back up and mailed them to the debt counseling agency. Every once in awhile I’d get a nagging doubt and I’d call and leave a message with my credit counselor. Once or twice he called me back, assuring me all was well, that all my creditors had accepted their proposals and that I didn’t have anything to worry about. “Just keep sending us whatever you get in the mail.” And so I did. When the court papers came, hand delivered by a police officer and me having to sign for—I became upset. Again I was told to send the documents to them. I did. Then I called and asked what I should do. And then I called again and yet again leaving messages and not getting answers. I took no answer to be a good thing and just kept on keeping on. Just like I was told. For another 9 months I lived in “blissful” unawareness. La-de-da-de-daness. Until I got the mail one day with three large overdraft notices and two letters of account garnishment. In one day we went from paying our debt and putting aside money to pay our taxes and car insurance to having a negative balance. Poof. Gone.
And what did the debt counseling agency do? “Oh, Amy we’re so sorry. Didn’t you know that was court document and you were being sued? Didn’t you know you missed your court date and they garnished your accounts? We can’t help you with that now. It’s out our hands. You’ll have to work on that one on your own.”
And so I did. And I stayed with the company. We were sued again- this time I knew what the court document was but couldn’t do anything to stop it. Again no help from the debt counseling agency- expect that they did accept a lower monthly payment (we needed it lower so that we would have money to pay on the court judgement). In fact they were quite accommodating about accepting a lower monthly payment. Saying how sorry they were that this had happened and that it was no problem to lower our monthly payment to them. They even allowed us to skip a month’s payment so that we could make the first payment to the other collector on time. Hello?! I should have smelled the rat when they were so accommodating. This is their way- this is their way of keeping me longer- with me making smaller payments there was no way they’d be able to negotiate better, quicker-to-pay-off settlements on my behalf. It would take longer than the 3.5 years I was so absolutely assured of in the beginning.
How much longer?
Who knows? We won’t because I finally wised up enough to get out. After 30.5 months I finally figured that I had traded one never ending cycle for another and I jumped ship.
So what did I learn?
Well- from the debt counseling agency- I learned that they will tell you whatever they think you want to hear, sometimes it will be the truth, sometimes part of the truth, and sometimes they wouldn’t know the truth if it came up and bit them.
I learned that it is absolutely paramount that you keep meticulous notes. Keep detailed notes of the date and time of every phone call, fax and email. Ones you send and ones you receive. Write the date rec’d on every piece of mail. Keep a log of messages you left and when they were finally answered. Keep files of papers and notes on your computer but also in hard copy in a folder. Save/record phone messages. Save and make note of every possible detail.
When I would speak with my “credit counselor” on the phone I would pull up my specific file on the computer and type notes while we spoke on the phone. This would often lead me to ask more questions so that I made sure I understood something. I would go back through my notes as soon as I was off the phone, polishing and adding while it was fresh in my mind.
I know that my copious notes helped me in the end with terminating the contract and getting the fee waved. I had proof.
Continued next post- because this is getting awful long.
Contract Terminated- Dum dee dum dum.
My heartfelt thanks for the prayers that have been lifted up on my behalf.
I have been on my knees thanking my awesome Lord for His divine intervention. I rec’d an email yesterday evening from the manager of the debt counseling agency stating that my email had been rec’d and that he would call me in the morning after having researched my account. The email stated that the matter would be resolved.
I rec’d a phone call from him this morning. To make a long and convoluted story short- my counselor at the agency (who I had all my interactions with) never followed through on the paperwork for stop payment, even after all the emails and phone calls and the email I had from her of assurance that a permanent stop payment had been put in place after the fiasco before this fiasco.
The manager apologized and asked me a few questions. He also stated that he had rec’d the documents from my counselor stating I wanted to terminate my contract and he had already put the paperwork in place to make that happen. He would be refunding me my money minus the early termination fee of $300. I was not happy about this as they had tacked on this month’s fees already when I had requested the termination at the end of last month but the Lord held my tongue as the man asked more questions. During the course of this interesting conversation he became very surprised at how a couple of matters were handled—especially when I informed him that I had saved a couple of key phone messages for proof.
And so it ended up that he stated the following, “I will wave your termination fee. The money doesn’t make a big difference to us but it does to you. I am very sorry that this mismanagement has lost us a client. I have read your emails and am using them as feedback. Due to what has transpired with you I have now made it a policy that all emails sent into [debt agency] will be copied to me. This won’t happen again.”
My thoughts: Well, it at least won’t be happening with me!
And so I have finally been able to terminate my contract with this deplorable company. Of course I will feel even better once I verify the funds are back in my account but I am feeling quite vindicated today.
I know God made a way for me today.
I continue to pray that He will make a way with the last and final debt to be settled and we will be done.
Thank you Lord.
Thank you Lord.
THANK YOU LORD!
My eyes were opened
Dear readers- dare I ask for another prayer request?I dare.
With the current situation with the debt counseling agency, I am feeling the need to take the bull-by-the-horns with our one debt remaining with the company and contact them directly with a settlement offer.
This is also scary as this wonderful (add sarcasm here) I-dare-not-mention-their-name credit card company has not turned over the debt to a collection agency but has instead, unbeknownst to me (because I haven't had any paperwork from them since starting with the debt counseling agency- this company actually "agreed" to work with the agency and has been sending all paperwork to them) held it "in-house".
What this means is that for the past 2.5 years they have held on to the debt- knowing it will some day be paid thru this debt counseling agency, and for this whole time have been charging a horrid amount of interest and misc. fees. So much so that in just 2.5 years time they say we owe twice the orginal amount.
TWICE.
As in DOUBLE.
The debt counseling agency would never tell me what the negotiations were with this creditor but to say that negotiations were "ongoing" and that this creditor was "willing to wait", "would work with us" and "settle the account".
Yeah- they were willing to wait- held on to the account and piled on the fees with relish and delight. And the debt agency was willing to shuffle them to the end because . . . . .
They get a 30 percent cut of the negotiation.
No I did not know that until recently.
What this means is the debt counseling agency negotiates an amount with the creditor and then charges me 30 percent of the difference. Example: Say I owed a creditor $10,000 and the debt agency negotiated it down to $6,000. They then charge me 30 percent of the $4,000 difference, which means the agency then informs me that they negotiated a settlement of $7,200. They pocket $1,200. WHAT????
Not until this last settlement was negotiated did I know this was going on- not until I asked some harder questions to the debt agency did they give me a copy of transactions for my account that showed all the amounts they pocketed for doing business for me (including mailing fees that ranged from $15 to 19 a pop).
So armed with this new information I've had a bit of a realization- I realize that this creditor has seriously hiked up the amount allegedly owed to them and that in doing so the debt counseling agency would probably come in and negotiate an "amazing" settlement for me which then allows them to pocket a very hefty chunk of change.
Rubbing some salt in my wound is the fact that the current settlment being paid was not even negotiated by the debt counseling agency. They informed me back in April that the collection agency was playing hard ball and that I would have to negotiate for myself or be sued.
Of course I negotiated for myself and I did a pretty good job of it too. Then came the point when I asked the hard questions about financial numbers not adding up on my debt counseling account and found out that they pocketed almost $700 for that negotiated settlement (the 30 percent of the difference). To say I was livid to find out I did my own negotiating and paid them for the privilege is a gross understatement.
Hence my decision to immediately terminate my contract with them.
Which it seems they have obviously ignored.
But I will not be ignored any longer. I may be a debter-dirt ball (in some eyes) but I have rights and I will not watch them gobble up any more of my money for "helping" me.
Which leads me to my prayer request: I have written a letter to this remaining creditor questioning the accuracy of the amount owed and offering them a settlement. It is a very low number compared to what they say I owe.
And so
I prayed while I wrote it, I prayed while I signed it, and I prayed while I stuffed it in the envelope and I will continue to pray. And pray when I mail it.
And continue to pray.
Please pray with me that the creditor will accept the settlement offer.
Don't worry about anything. Instead pray about EVERYTHING! Phil 4:6
I will not be ignored
I have decided to inundate the debt counseling agency. I left a voice message and a detailed email requesting the immediate deposit of my funds back into my account.I also went online and found their website and using the email address on their contacts page for "Manager"- I then sent him a very detailed email about the situation and again requested the immediate deposit of funds.
It is also my plan to fax these two emails and the email I sent previously [requesting immediate termination of our contract] tomorrow morning (actually Mr. Steady will send it but that's just symantics).
The way I see it- I've called, I've emailed, I've emailed higher up and I've faxed. They can NOT ignore all of this nor can they blame "glitches" and say that they never received any such information from me.
Mr. Steady has called the bank and we have been informed by the bank that with our written proof of stop payment, Mr. Steady can fill out forms to have the withdrawal reversed. According to Mr. Steady, the bank will deposit the funds in our account and go after the debt counseling agency for reimbursement.
I have informed the debt counseling agency that they have until end of business day tomorrow to put the funds back in the account (afterall- if they can swoop in and take it in a day they can surely put it back in a day!) or we will pursue the matter through the bank.
Please continue to keep this matter in prayer. I am praying that the agency will return our money and if not- I am praying that the document we have will truly be sufficient for the bank to pursue the matter.
I must have faith that God will see this through. There has never been a time that God has not made a way for us.
Lord God they did it again
I would greatly appreciate prayer support.
We have reached yet another snafu with our remaining debt and this debt counseling agency.
I cannot possibly go into it all right now except to very simply say-- they took money- straight out of our checking account that they had absolutely no right to whatsoever [yes, I have it in writing that a stop payment was put in affect but I have yet to get a real person on the phone to deal with this directly and immediately].
But by the grace of God am I holding on.
I remind myself that God is with me.
Don't be afraid, just stand where you are and watch the Lord rescue you. Exodus 14:13
This has been my very own special verse for months now and I cling to it mightily today.
Please pray- pray for God's peace for me. Pray for this matter to be sorted out with extreme quickness and efficiency.
Please Lord, I know you hear me. I know you are here with me. Lord God help us. You know what is going on in my head and heart right now. I know you do not want me so conflicted and worried. Forgive me for these feelings Lord and establish Your Peace in me. Dear Lord help. Please help.
Please pray- Mr. Steady just returned home from work and I must inform him of all of this.
Thank you.
Blessed in the midst of the Mess
Our financial stability continues to be on shaky ground. We continue to make progress but it is slow going and sometimes painful. I am reminded that growth can be a painful process and we are indeed growing. God has opened our eyes in a lot of ways thru this pile of financial woes.
I am glad that we took a hard look at our debt over 2 years ago and started working to eliminate it. I am sad that we didn’t investigate all our avenues more thoroughly and I know we were much too quick to join the debt settlement agency bandwagon (don't do it), believing they would solve all our woes for us and do so easily and without repercussions. Ha!
BUT—I wonder if it had been as easy as that silly agency made it out to be when we signed up if I would have truly learned my lesson about debt. I believe that because this has been so hard and painful that it will be the reminder that sticks with us our hole lives thru that we never want to be indebted like that ever EVER again. It’s like the child who has been told time and time again not to touch the hot stove- the meaning in the message doesn’t really sink in until the child gets burned; then the child knows and is reminded- “I don’t want to touch the stove because it will hurt me.” I’ve been burned and I know that I don’t want to go into debt again “because it will hurt me” and my family.
We continue to have problems with the debt settlement agency. (Go figure!) We are not in a situation where we can terminate the agreement but we do have a bit of leverage for their “current mistake”.
I am annoyed that when they want information and such from me I must provide it to them immediately- without delay and without thought, but when I contact them about a problem (such as last month’s double billing) I don’t hear back from them until I’ve contacted them at least 3 times.
But yet I am thankful. We will have a debt paid off by the end of August which will leave us with only one debt listed with the debt settlement agency. It is our hope to get that final debt paid off by early next year and be done with this agency f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
More than anything I am aware that God is in charge and He has always, continually and faithfully provided for us. Time and time again. We’ve been at the brink many times and while it is rocky and scary, I keep reminding myself of how God has brought us through so far. He will never fail us.
We live in shaky economic times and there are many, many good people like Mr. Steady and myself, facing the same dilemmas we are facing, feeling the same fear and worry that we have faced. And some have it far worse.
We continue to take things a day at a time and to fill our days with prayers. I daily ask God that I won’t be imprisoned again with the fear and worry I felt early this year and I also ask that I would never be so far removed that I would forget what it felt like and how He raised me up out of that mire and what THAT felt like.
I realize that what God has brought us through these past two years has been in preparation for these tight economic times. I didn’t know, but the Lord did that we would be facing this now and that we would never be making it now if we still had that debt burden on our backs. These past two years have taught us more than just the fact that God calls us to live debt-free; we’ve learned how to pinch a penny and stretch a dollar “Til George and Abe scream”, to stick within our budgets (envelope system), how to barter for some needs and do without others. We’ve learned to be more creative and resourceful- to reduce and reuse before it was the green thing to do. And even more we’ve learned that in doing so we’re richer for it. We haven’t become misers; instead God has strengthened our marriage and little family. He’s brought us closer and made our lives richer with like-minded friends and family. He’s opened our eyes to the joys we have right here in our home that cannot be found or bought anywhere else.
He has incredibly and richly blessed us in such deep ways as I could never have imagined. While I never want to be in this situation ever EVER again, I know this was for my good- part of God’s great plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) and I no longer wish that “it had never happened” because I am very much the better for it having happened. And continuing to happen.
And so I shake my fist at this current small storm we are facing and I tell it
“My God is BIGGER than you!”
So there.
Interesting in knowing more about how we got here or my thoughts on how to get yourself out of the mire of debt? Click on Financial Bliss in my catagories in the right hand column. Plus there is more of our financial journey buried in the Family Life column . . .
And so it goes
We are still with the debt counseling agency.For now.
They are saying that they have worked out an even better deal with the creditor and that we will have the debt settled by the end of the month with only a "little" extra money from me.
The "little extra" is way less than what we were currently scraping together to meet the pay-off goal. Mr. Steady and I have talked and prayed. We continue to keep meticulous notes and I have made our "debt counselor" aware of my copious note taking. We have the "little extra" available right now so we are going with it at the moment.
If I am to believe what they are saying is true- it seems my actions of the past week have lit a fire underneith them because things were just not coming together like this before. It seems that it wasn't until I was trying to back out that they werer able to "work a deal".
I am still skeptical but I am at peace.
Mr. Steady and I have asked for proof of settlement. We shall see.
I have every confidence that the Lord is in this and He is guiding. I prayed for Him to give me the words to speak while on the phone with the agency and I must believe that I am following His path on this.
It rubs a bit that we are still under the "control" of this debt counseling agency but if things go as they have said they will- we will only have one debt left with them and Mr. Steady and I are working on a plan to pay off that last debt by the end of the year.
I believe I will sleep better tonight.
Still no news
I called the debt settlement agency today (had to leave a message). They said I would hear from them "at the latest, Thursday morning."
I didn't.
Am I surprised? No.
Is it frustrating? Most definitely.
The main thing is I have to wait on them to do something about settling this debt because we are under contract with them.
If I had known then what I know now . . . . .
With the economy and real estate the way it is . . . . not a week goes by that we don't get some sort of snail mail or email from one of these "debt help agencies"- singing their own praises of how they can do the impossible for you.
Reality is that what they can do- you can do for yourself. These agencies all have a monthly fee for their services (that's how they make their money). You can negotiate on your own behalf and you won't charge yourself a monthly fee!
I will be overjoyed the day our contract with this agency is through. I will rejoice.
But I also want to remember- no matter how bad this situation has been, how scary and unnerving- I want to remember how God has held us up and carried us through. If I were to pinpoint a praise in this midst of this it is that God is in control. Time and time again He has held me up when I had nothing more to give. He has made a way through circumstances that I thought were going to swallow us up. Even though I wish we'd never gotten into this mess to begin with- I am thankful for how God had reminded me again and again and again that He holds my hand.
And so- even though I am frustrated with the waiting and the wondering if this settlement will come through and if it will really be something we can work with-- I am not worried. I know that God is in control and I no longer doubt. I do not doubt- I no longer think that while God can, I'm afraid He won't. My hope rests in God because He knows best. Better than that- He is. What I mean is that God endures. He has never not been and He always will be. He knows my past, He knows my present and He knows my future. What better hands could I be in?
No update on settlement
No news yet about a settlement on that debt.We should be hearing something tomorrow morning.
I am confident God will guide us through.
It is all in His perfect timing.
In the places I once felt fear and trepidation-- I now feel joy and excitement.
I know God is working on my behalf.
I continue to cling to the verse He gave me:
My verse: Don't be afraid. Just stand where you are and watch the Lord rescue you. Exodus 14:13.
I'm not afraid. I am standing firm and I am watching.
My hope and faith rest in Him.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Amen.
prayer on a coming decision
Spending a lot of time in prayer today. I received word from the debt settlement agency* that there is an opportunity to pay off another debt . . . . . they haven’t finalized the numbers yet and will get back to me tomorrow. There is some concern that this will be more than we can handle and more concern that the creditor will seek some other sort of action if we don’t do something.And so I am praying.
And Mr. Steady is praying.
We are praying that the settlement amount is something we can afford to do. We are praying that God would guide us in making the right decision- His decision in this matter. Bottom line- may God’s will be done in this matter.
I assured Mr. Steady that I am thinking positively about this- no negative. Nope, none, zippo.
I am preparing the fields for rain.
God is good.
(*Remember I advised not use these agencies- don’t do what I did!)
Dave's thoughts on the stimulus package
Here's Dave Ramsey's thoughts on the stimulus package.
Did you read it?
I'll wait until your done.
Back already? Okay--
I happen to wholeheartedly agree with Dave. You need to have a plan on how to use this money and you need to plan now- before the money is in your hot little hand.
And for heaven's sake, don't spend the money before you get the money! I remember way back when . . . . Mr. Steady and I would do our taxes and I'd have that tax rebate spent (using my handy-dandy credit cards dontcha know) before it even hit the mail. Doing this is simply setting yourself up to fail in a big way. Do you know how many times I actually took that rebate check and put it towards the credit card debt I had accumulated in my grand plan? Well, it wasn't quite zero but it wasn't ever the whole amount I had already spent.
You just can't spend what you just don't have. Things happen- life happens. A spending plan is quite different from spending the money. A spending plan gives you Plan A. When the money actually comes and you find out you need 4 new tires on your car you can adjust the Plan, but if you spent the money (that you didn't even have yet) there is no way to adjust the plan- you just totally blew up the plan.
This was one of the many ways I messed up our finances and dug our debt hole deeper and deeper.
What's that saying, "Failing to plan is like planning to fail"? Or something along those lines.
So what's your plan?
My plan is simple, we are putting the money towards eradicating our debt. I can't imagine going out and "blowing" the whole wad when we're still sitting on a pile of debt. I've learned to take delight in seeing that dollar amount we owe get smaller and smaller. Some day, some sweet day, we will have a wonderful celebration- a celebration dinner that celebrates getting out of debt. I look forward to that day and so it makes it that much easier to forgo using a bit of that money for a dinner out now . . . .
Paying for the privilege
You will never guess what I got in the mail- a credit card offer. I’ve been getting these off and on for the last few months. It seems the harder we work to repay and repair our credit the more they are sending these- in hopes we’ll fall into the trap again.Normally, I don’t even look them over but take them directly to the shredder, but Mr. Steady wanted to open it and see what they were offering.
Well, besides 9.9% introductory rate (didn’t say for how long)- which it didn’t exactly “promise” that I would get- just “as low as”, they listed some “small fees”. Upon tallying it all up on the calculator, those “small” fees added up to $272.00! There was a start-up fee, an annual fee, introductory fee (to get the introductory rate you had to pay a “fee”!), an additional card fee . . . .
Can you believe that? They [the cc company] actually think I’m desperate enough to pay $272 a year, on top of interest, just to have credit! Yeah, right!
I’m sure they thought they were making me a sensible offer- after all, I’m a credit risk. The reality- Mr. Steady and I got a good laugh out of it and sent it through the shredder. We would have mailed them an “interesting” letter in their envelope except that they were even too cheap to send a postage paid envelope! Well, what’s another 41 cents when you shell out $272.00?!
I am sure we’ll be seeing more and more of this. More of what? Well, I’m sure I’ll be, personally, seeing more of these “offers” to help re-establish my credit (unless I opt out of receiving them- which we plan on doing). But I also think we’ll be seeing more credit card companies tacking on “small” fees. I’ve even heard they’ll raise your interest rate/tack on a fee/cancel your card if you continually pay your balance in full every month. Why? Because they aren’t making money on you!
We are very thankful that we are working hard to get out of debt now; thankful that we’ve learned we don’t need credit cards to survive; thankful that we’ve already started this journey.
One thing I read today is that if your cc company continues to hike your interest rate- you can ask them if they would freeze the current rate if you closed the card and made payments on the balance. You should make sure you get it in writing though.
We had one credit card that we didn’t put with the debt solution company we are currently still in contract with because they advised us to have one card “to help us create good credit”. Ahem. We quickly decided we did not want/need any credit cards whatsoever and closed the account- we didn’t pay off the balance but closed the account. We did not ask them to freeze the rate- and they did not! It went up from 17% to 24% in a matter of months. Mr. Steady contacted the company about it and they lowered it to 20%. Still pretty stiff but less is less. We will have the card paid off in a couple of months. All I can say is, “Good riddance!”
Economic stimulus and credit card rates
I cannot claim to understand all that is going on with this stimulus package the government is “giving” us. Here is a link to some information.So what should you consider doing with the money, your money?
I, for one, remind myself that I am working my way to Financial Bliss. I want to make my money work for me [not against me].
How do you do that? Well, for starters, pay down high interest debt! That’s using your money wisely. It won’t do you any good in a .5% interest-earning savings account if you’ve got a balance on a 22.5% credit card! Yikes!
And speaking of credit cards- DUMP THEM! Be aware- those wonderful, oh-so-helpful credit card companies are jacking up their rates- even for good, dependable perfect-payment customers! If you aren’t dumping your cards then you need to be checking your statements carefully. From what I’ve been reading, it is my understanding that some credit card companies have increased their interest rate for “good customers” up to 29%. Yikes and Double Yikes!
Perhaps you need to really think about why you have a credit card? Do not play the game with yourself and think that credit cards give you freedom. They do not. There is no freedom in debt. I am living proof of that and I do not ever, no never, want to slip back into the illusion that there is.
What now? More debt than money
What if you can’t balance your budget because you simply owe more than you can bring in and have enough to live on in a month?Here is where I made another major misstep- please listen to my heart here and DO NOT do the following:
Do not go into debt consolidation- do not sign up with a company that offers to lump all your debts into one monthly sum and then guarantee you the monthly sum “could be up to half what you are paying now”!
Do not go into debt settlement or with any type of company that will offer to pay your debts for you with one monthly lump sum that you pay to them and they “will do it for considerable less than you ever could.”
You can be your own advocate. Nobody wants to get you out of debt more than YOU!
I don’t care what that debt counseling agency is promising you- they really can’t do more for you than you can do for yourself. In fact, from my own very real and personal experience, they can make your nightmare much, much MUCH worse.
We thought we were going the smart route- because we found a “Christian” debt solution company to help us. We would pay them x amount of dollars each month and they would “work” with our creditors using the amount we give them (minus their monthly fee) to come to term settlements. The best part- with them we would be debt free in 3.5 years. I remember asking, “So I pay you x amount each month and you’ll take care of my creditors? I won’t have to DO anything?” To which they slyly replied, “Yes.”
I wish I’d recorded that conversation. Here we are 2 years into this and we’ve been threatened by creditors (who have also called our neighbors, my parents and my brother- all of which is illegal by the way, according to the government’s Fair Debt Collection Act- of which I knew absolutely nothing about at the time). We’ve had our bank accounts garnished- more than completely wiped out when the overdraft fees and misc. charges came into affect. AND we’ve been sued. Yes, they’ve been real helpful in paying off our creditors on our behalf. [My sarcasm is more than implied here- the sentence simply oozes with it!]
Are you at this spot? Please heed my advice- fight for yourself. Contact your creditors and explain that you are unable to make your monthly payments in their current amount; they will be willing to work with you, as they do like to be paid. Never not make a monthly payment- even if it’s only $5- pay some bit of money to them every month and on time. Do not get behind in your payments. The first thing the debt counseling agency told me to do was stop making my payments- I didn’t look poor enough or in need enough, they said- they couldn’t help me unless I was at least a month behind, they said. DO NOT DO THIS!
Go to your library and check out or interloan request Dave Ramsey’s book The Total Money Makeover or the book, Debt Cures by Kevin Trudeau. Both of these books give you wonderful advice (and helpful letter forms) of what to do when you are at this point. [Side Note: I don't agree with everything in Trudeau's book nor am I comfortable with the information I have found out about him, personally- but the book is indeed helpful in some respects so I will keep it listed here. Just be mindful to decide for yourself- this post is only my personal opinion and experience.]
You will need to be proactive. You will need to fight for yourself. You will need to show your creditors your budget and disposable income (money that is left over after meeting the necessities for living and taking care of your family) as this shows them in black and white that you are truly unable to make the monthly minimum payment. It is my understanding that most creditors will work with you on this as long as you pay them some amount on a timely basis every month.
You can even settle debts with creditors on your own. You can offer them a lump sum payment (that is less than the total amount owed), if you can come up with one BUT- Please, for your own sake, get this agreement in writing before you send them your money. You may need the proof to back you up later on. You must keep records and have proof of all your agreements. [Of note, if you are able to reach a settlement agreement you will be required to report this for income tax purposes. The company you settled with should send you a 1099-C form.]
I do not believe that I can speak much more on this particular part of the subject except to say that I dearly wish we had gone this route. I again refer you to the two books mentioned above for more on this.
How to: My Envelope System
My system is one I’ve adapted and tweaked from Dave Ramsey. I don’t have one of those handy-dandy
little envelope binder systems (that he totes on his website- they are cutesy but I can’t justify the expense)
— I use plain-jane regular sized envelopes.
The gist of the system is this: you stay within your budget better when you spend cash only. Try it for one
week. I’m not kidding. I found that even with using my debit card I was spending more than I should have.
The envelope system assures that I won’t spend more than I have- period.
First you must have a budget- you need to know the amount you are going to put into each envelope!
So go make your budget [check the category Financial Bliss in my sidebar for more information on setting
up a balanced budget.]
Got your budget done? Good. Next, I designated an envelope for our spending and savings categories.
I do not have envelopes for those categories that I write checks for (such as our mortgage) or for those
that are automatically deducted from our checking account.
The only envelopes I carry with me in my purse on a regular basis are the gas and grocery envelopes.
When needed I carry money from the birthday/Christmas envelopes. The other envelopes are kept in a
locked box in a secret location (shhhh!).
Perhaps it is just me but I find I do better and stick to my budget system better with the envelopes than
with trying to keep it all in one checking or savings account (not to mention that after being garnished I’m
pretty reluctant to put any money in the bank). Probably because I am a visual person and need to see
the money all separated in its “right places” all neat and nifty like.
What do I do if there is money still in the envelope at the end of the week?
That’s easy- I praise God, of course! And I keep it there. If there is money left over in the grocery envelope,
it may just help me to make a special purchase the next week or so- like when chicken breasts are
BOGO or the price of a good steak dips way down or those mammoth packages of toilet paper go on
sale.
What happens if there isn’t enough money in the envelope?
Well, plain and simple- you don’t spend what you don’t have. Say your at the check-out counter at the
grocery store and the total is more than you have in your envelope—you don’t want to embarrass yourself
and admit that you don’t have enough money . . . . BUCK UP! Don’t fall in this trap and whip out your debit
card (or heaven forbid your credit card- you are suppose to be getting rid of that!). Embarrassing yourself
might do you a bit of good. Look the cashier right in the eye and say, “I’m sorry but it seems I’ve gone a
bit over budget. I’ll need you to take a couple of these items back.” It is simple and you will find most of
the time that not only are they happy to oblige but they’ll chat with you about being budget conscious and
maybe, even, encourage you to keep it up!
Of course, you can keep that from happening by carefully calculating what you are putting into your cart-
I either use a calculator or mentally round the items up to the nearest dollar and keep tally. So what if the
empty envelope is your gas envelope and you’re sitting on “E” and need to get to work or some other such
place and staying home and staying put is not an option? Do not put this on your debit or credit card and
do not touch your emergency fund for this. You will obviously need to “borrow” from another envelope to
cover it- borrow from an envelope that you don’t use all the time- such as clothing or entertainment or your
“blow” money.
Really, when you think of it- should you be going to the video store to rent a couple of DVDs for $8 bucks
or should you use that to put a couple of gallons of gas in your car- what is more important???
Remember what I said about being realistic.
One more thing:
With the envelope system, I include a slip of colored paper in the envelopes where I jot down the date,
place and what I spent. For example, the pink slip of paper in my grocery envelope shows this from
yesterday, “1.30.08 Aldi’s $57.50”. I also slip the receipt into the envelope until I can sort it and place it in
my monthly receipt envelopes at home. I never EVER have them put my receipt in a bag. Nope!
An Important Side Note: Using the envelope system does mean that you will, at times, be carrying a
sizable amount of cash in your purse. Keep your purse with you at all times. Do not put it in the cart or set
it down to look at something! If you are concerned about carrying all the cash- you could put the gas
envelope in your car’s glove compartment or center console. You need to remember to be aware!
Did I get ahead of myself?
I just realized that I may have gotten a bit ahead of myself with mentioning snowballing your debt before I explained that you should have an emergency fund.An emergency fund is one of the important tools that keeps you from having to use credit cards.
So before you apply that $5 I talked about here- you need to answer this question-
Do I have an emergency fund of at least $1,000 set aside?
If your answer is no, then that $5 extra you have every month needs to go towards building your emergency fund. Do NOT apply the $5 towards snowballing your debt until you’ve established your $1,000 emergency fund.
This is extremely important because emergencies do pop up and you need to be prepared.
Why a $1,000? Because we often have more than one emergency come along . . . . You know, the car needs a $500 repair the same weekend that your water heater bites the dust. Dave Ramsey advocates at least $1,000 for a starting emergency fund and I agree. Mr. Steady and I have had a $1,000 emergency fund for years (with the exception of 2007 when it was taken from us- we have yet to be able to recoup and resave the entire $1,000- but we are working on it!) and it has been a life saver many times. Your emergency fund supersedes paying back your debt- you won’t’ be able to pay off your debts if you have to keep going into more debt due to emergencies.
And just what constitutes an emergency? Well, I can tell you what doesn’t! Car insurance or property taxes are not emergencies and should not be taken from you “e-fund”. Any amount/bill that occurs regularly (even if it’s only yearly) can and should be calculated into your budget. Your “e-fund” if for those moments when life whammies you upside the head. An unexpected doctors bill or dental bill (like when my nephew had a tooth catch on the basketball net when he was slam dunkin’ and rip out- ouch!)- notice I used the word unexpected. Regular doctor and dentist visits are not unexpected. Major car or home repairs would constitute dipping into the “e-fund”. A bit of honesty- I once had to dip into our e-fund to pay a speeding ticket. Yes, it was unexpected!
Now what happens after you’ve had to dip into your e-fund? You must replenish what you took out. For awhile you will need to stop your debt snowballing and apply the “extra” to your e-fund until it is up to $1,000 again.
Gradually, when you’ve snowballed all your debt, you will want to create an emergency fund that is equal to at least one month’s take home pay. Then increase it until it is equal to 3 months take home pay. This is your cushion- your Plan B.
Something else to think about:
Think about starting a medical e-fund that is equal to your yearly deductable. I know of a family that has a $1,000 e-fund and a $1,500 medical e-fund. This makes a lot of sense to me. We are not at the place yet but it is something Mr. Steady and I have filed away for a future hope.
Jumpstarting an e-fund: Yes, it will take a long, long time to create a $1,000 e-fund if you are only socking away $5 a week. Do not let this discourage you- that’s $5 more towards an emergency than you had last week! But really- you may need to kick it in gear- look around your home and see if there is anything you can sell. Have a yard sale with the express purpose of creating an e-fund. Take gently used clothes and toys to a local resale/consignment store. Work at your friend’s pizza place one nite a week for a few months (Mr. Steady and I did that in the past!). Put your tax rebate towards it- right now we’re all hopeful of receiving a tidy little check from the government- there’s a “quick” way to create your emergency fund. (Allow me to add though- this isn’t a done deal so keep socking away that $5 every week until you’ve truly got $1,000 stuck in your mattress.) Simply look around you for ways you can make this $1,000 happen for you- maybe your budget is balanced but you could knock out direct TV for a few months to help you add more quickly to that e-fund.
Be creative.
Create that fund!
Stay tuned for more Financial Bliss . . . .
Financial Bliss- where to put extra money
You’ve worked hard to create a balanced budget and as I mentioned in my last Financial Bliss post- you have an extra $5 (or more) to apply to one of your debts.You should make a list (or a spreadsheet if you are savvy) of all your debts, what you owe on them (write down the interest rate you pay on them too- we won’t get into that now but its info you’ll need for another time/post) and the minimum monthly payment amount. Put them in order of amount owed. Now take that extra $5 and apply it the debt with the least amount owed. [Side Note- if you are paying more than the minimum payment on your other debts- stop it! Put all “extra” money in one lump sum and put it on the debt with the least amount owed like I stated above.] This is called the debt snowball (per Dave Ramsey). Basically, your new monthly payment is the original amount plus $5 and you pay this continuously until the debt is paid in full. Say the original amount was $25/month and your extra $5 upped it to a monthly payment of $30 and after 4 months you paid the debt off.
Grab that written list of debts and cross that debt off. Doesn’t that feel great?! Now you can go out and blow the $30 each month- I’M KIDDING!!!!
DO NOT BLOW THAT $30! Instead, refer to the next debt listed and take its original amount and add $30 to it- this is now your new monthly payment. You will continue to pay this amount until this debt is paid in full and you can cross it off your list. You then take that amount you were applying to debt #2 and put it with the original amount you were paying to debt #3 and make that your new monthly payment for debt #3 until it is paid in full.See where the snowball approach comes in? You are paying off debt, not affecting your budget in a negative way, rolling one payment into another creating a bigger payment that will knock down your debt like an avalanche.
[Side note: there are debt calculators on Dave’s site that help you to see just how quickly you can pay this debt down.]
The debt snowball can help you get out of debt quicker but the key component is that you do not incur more debt. In order to become debt-free you must quit bringing in new debt. The popular phrase is that you need to “perform plastic surgery”- you need to cut up the credit cards. For me, quitting using the card was not enough- I’d be good for awhile and then pick it up again and charge it when I thought it was “necessary”. I know of people that have recommended freezing your credit cards in blocks of ice and hiding them in your fridge to stop you from the temptation. Sigh. Its useless- if you really want to use the card you’ll give yourself an excuse to stick that lump in the sink and pour boiling water over it (or if you want to make a purchase online or by phone- all you need to do is get out last month’s statement and you have the info you need). If you are tempted by credit cards then you must forever rid yourself from that temptation and cut it up. Destroy it, plain and simple.
I am the first to admit that I have no middle ground with credit cards. I will also tell you that I find no redeeming quality in credit cards. None. I don’t care if you are one of those people who spend it on the credit card and then go home and immediately write a check for that exact amount to the credit card company- cut out the middle man and pay in cash! I can just about guarantee you that you will find you aren’t willing to spend as much if you have to watch yourself fork over the actual cash money to do so. You say you need a credit card for emergencies or for vacations etc. etc. Hello, I made those same statements and believed I meant every last one of them. But temptation was too great. I do believe there are people out there who actually keep a credit card for emergency purposes only- but I don’t personally know them and have never heard from them, so it’s the same as the leprechaun with me- never seen one or spoke to one so I’m a bit “iffy” on whether they exist or not!
Bottom line- if you carry a balance on a credit card from month to month and/or have never paid off the balance in full- ever- since you got the card—you need to get rid of it. Remember- NO NEW DEBT!
Incredibly enough- our little family of 5 has managed to survive for over two years without a single credit card. We’ve survived doctor bills (child in a cast & stitches plus the ER visit), car breakdowns and even the brink of financial ruin (I’m being positive here- we aren’t quite past that one yet- but we will be!). We’ve gone on vacation, reserved hotels and managed to live for over 24 months without a single one.
There is life beyond credit cards.
So now we’ve covered creating a realistic balanced budget and beginning to pay down debt. But what if you are on the brink like us- what if the information I’m giving you is making you say “it’s too late”.
It is not too late my friend.
Stay tuned.
Watch those overdrafts
There have been some VERY good comments in this post on using debit/check cashing cards. I urge everyone who is going on the journey with me to Financial Bliss to be aware of the traps and pitfalls that the banks and lenders let us get into.
Laura shared in the comments that the bank may allow you to go severely overdrawn before even notifying you of the error.
Be vigilant about your checking account- this is YOUR money. Record purchases right away and balance your statement within the week when it comes in the mail.
If you and your spouse are both using the check cashing card then you both need to make sure you are recording the purchases in the check register. Be hyper-vigilant when you are making many purchases- such as Laura and her husband when they were working on remodeling their home.
Also- if you do make a mistake and get overdrawn- don't hesitate to go to the bank and discuss it with the manager. Back in December I found out that my bank takes all debits (purchases) and deducts them from my account before they add in the credits/deposits. This caused me a great problem. I made a deposit at the bank and then went to the grocery/department store (right behind the bank) and bought some Christmas presents etc. Even though I went to the store after the bank- that purchase went through before my deposit and coupled with the two purchases I had made the day before online- it sent me over but I didn't know until 5 days later- when I had made other purchases not knowing that I had become overdrawn and they had been socking me with $32 overdraft protection fees for each transaction- which caused me to be even more overdrawn! To say I was distraught is an understatement. But I didn't wallow in my grief and despair. I marched into the bank with determination and asked to speak to the manager. My lip quavered but I explained to him what had happened to me and honestly said that I couldn't afford these fees- I explained that I had made a deposit the very morning of the purchases- showing him the receipt. When he explained the whole credits before debits policy I was shocked and even more dismayed. I asked him to please reverse the fees as I had not had this problem before and was a customer in good standing. He said that since I hadn't known/understood this policy he would do so. I was very thankful (and praising the Lord) that by simply going to the manager and stating my case I was able to "fix" the situation.
I learned my lesson and am even more hypervigilant about our accounts. For myself, I no longer make purchases the same morning I make a deposit unless there were sufficent funds before the deposit to cover my purchases.
Personally, I feel this is a dirty trick by the banks to make more money in fees. I use to work at a bank back in the 90's and this was not the policy then.
So- be vigilant, balance your check book EVERY month and keep careful records. (I kept notes etc. on my conversation with the bank manager just in case and you should too.)
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CaraDD
paschalhome
Southernangel
fcusick
wstoller
keeperofmyhome
