Home Sweet Simple Home

Lord, you never let go

I am reminded of Mark 9:24- "I do believe, but help my overcome my unbelief!"

I believe God is in control and He knows best for me but I am scared to death what this new crisis will do to us. I am having a difficult time letting go of the worrying and leaving it at His feet. It is so scary to me- it seems that each time we get our feet under us and can see an end in sight- we are blindsided yet again. I cry out to God- how long must I pay for this- how long will this "dog" me? I have been forgiven, I have worked hard to set things right- I have become a good steward of all His money- haven't fallen back to the old ways. In a phrase- I have felt, "I've done everything right- yet I am still in trouble!"
Ah, ha! The phrase is the key- "I've done everything right- yet I am still in trouble!" Luke chapter 8:22-25-- This is the passage when Jesus and the disciples go out on the lake to get away and a sudden storm comes up, Jesus is asleep and the disciples are "freaking out"- they wake him up- all full of fear and Jesus rebukes the wind, calms the storm then turns to them and says, "Where is your faith?"
Can you not see how this passage is speaking to me? First off- let's look at the disciples- they were obedient- doing what they were suppose to be doing, "doing everything right"- Jesus said "Let's cross to the otherside of the lake. Get in the boat." They got in the boat- they obeyed- they weren't doing "anything wrong" and yet the storm still came and what a storm it was! They were going to drown and Jesus was with them in the boat!
So- now I know that this storm hasn't come because I did something wrong but I have also forgotten that Jesus is in the boat with me. My God is bigger than any storm that may come, but I forget this. Why am I looking at the big, huge storm that I believe is going to engulf me? Why am I not looking at my Savior who is right here in the boat with me? How could I have forgotten? My eyes and heart are full of the problem and I've lost sight of Who is in charge. I may be in the boat- I may even be steering it- but not really, "We can make our plans but the LORD determines our steps." [Proverbs 16:9] I'm only steering this boat because God allows it- the reality is that He is determining my steps. It is frustrating and disheartening to be going through this trial but I am reminded that I am not alone. God has a reason for allowing this new crisis and is once again reminding me that I am never alone and I am not in charge. Yes, I'm scared- I'm scared that God will allow this storm to get even bigger before this is over and that can worry me but I saying "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief." I believe God is with me and He is guiding me- but the unbelief- the feeling that I will never get out from under this is threatening to swamp "my boat". I realize that I've been doing everything I can do to handle the storm and have forgotten that I have Jesus in the boat- I need Jesus to handle this for me- only he can calm the storm. This storm of a crisis isn't a surprise to Him- it's a BIG surprise to me but nothing is a surprise to God.
Lord, I do believe. I have faith that you are with me through this storm. Please, Lord, help my unbelief. Help me get over these doubts and fears, this worry that threatens to consume me. Remind me that You will guide me through. Lord, put your arms around me and give me peace. I know you are in charge. I ask you to be in charge- I give you control of this situation and my life. Lord, I know nothing is too big a problem that you can't solve it. I cry out to you to solve this for me- I cannot see my way through. I don't know where to go from here and I am so scared. Lord, take this fear and encourage my faith. Lord, I don't have the answers and I know that I don't need to- that's your job. Help me to let go of the need to know. Help me to set aside this fear and stress. Lord, I know  you supply all my needs. Meet me here today, right here in the midst of the pain and confusion. I cry out, "Master, Master I am going to drown!" Lord, I know that you won't let me drown- renew my faith and grant me a steadfast spirit. Be the strength in the midst of my weakness. Lord, grant me the peace and knowledge that you are in control and will see me through. Hold me tight and don't let go.
Thank you Lord for your unending promises. Thank you for reaching out to me in the midst of my unbelief. Thank you that you never let go. Ever.
In Jesus wonderful name- AMEN.

Untitled Comment

10:44 AM, 2007-Oct-22 .. Posted by Lynne

Amy,
Your last two messages are quite worrying. There are so many people in your situation or headed there quickly. I had been lead to believe by what I hear in the media that immediate action with a debt counseling service allows people to work out payment agreements with lenders, and that over time the debts can be resolved. But, reading between the lines on your entries, it sounds like things don't really work out that way.
The sad thing is that there should be some government oversight in debt repayment for honest people like you who want to make good on all they owe.

To Lynne

10:58 AM, 2007-Oct-22 .. Posted by YPAmy5

You are right- we are trying very hard to make good on what we owe. We have trusted this debt counseling agency to be working for us and are finding things are what we thought them to be. In hindsight and from what we are learning- it is best for someone to first contact their creditors and try to work out a payment plan directly with them- rather than going the route we went. Debt counseling agencies make it look good- helping you pay off your debt in less time and then your credit will be restored faster etc. but the reality we are facing is disconcerting and disheartening. The agency doesn't seem to be doing all they can do for us and they are blaming it on the horrible economy- that they are unable to settle debts for us because of the state of the economy. Right now- this has led to us being contacted by collections agencies and now the court. It is more scary than you can imagine.
We will be seeing a lawyer this Thursday for advice. I am quite concerned as we are paying the debt counseling agency a certain amount each month and they are to be paying our creditors (which they are doing- but not to all creditors satification). We don't have the extra money to pay to have a lawyer on retainer and to pay these debts that the counseling agency seems to have let pass by . . . . that is what scares me most.
My husband is remaining calm- while I flip out and has reminded me that God is in control. So I am daily reminding myself of this- steeping myself in the Word and desperately holding on.
My brother has suggested I write a book after this is all said and done . . . . . right now, my advice to anyone facing debt they can't pay- contact your creditor directly and work out a plan. They should be willing to work with you. Take charge of the matter yourself rather than relying on a debt counseling agency to do it for you. You have your own best interest in mind. Remember that.

Untitled Comment

11:15 AM, 2007-Oct-22 .. Posted by Lynne

I am hoping the attorney can get this handled out of court. If it does go to court, certainly the judge will see that you have worked in good faith with the credit counseling company and are consistently making the payments to them. So many people just walk away and default. I would hope a judge would see you are honestly trying to repay all your debts, and that you can accomplish this if given enough time.
I definitely agree with your brother about writing a book about this experience.
This whole credit thing has become a mess. Banks and loan companies are over-extending credit, and consumers are trusting the banks to know how much credit they can handle. When I got my first "real job" at age 22, I worked for a year before a department store would even consider giving me a store credit card, and they put the limit at $150. I had to use and pay off this card for another year before I could get a Visa card, again with a very low limit. Now, anyone is given credit, job or not, enough income or not. Then, all it takes is one small problem (a medical bill, an unexpected car repair) to put people behind, and then the credit card companies start dumping on fine and fees so the debt keeps growing and has no realistic chance of ever being paid off. Congress needs to get involved in this right away. What these banks are being allowed to do is just morally wrong.