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9:07 AM, 2007-Jul-31 .. Posted by Lynne

Amy,
What a sad story. I hope your youth can help them out in some way - lawn work, etc. I can understand why an 8th grade girl would be in denial.

Untitled Comment

10:05 AM, 2007-Jul-31 .. Posted by Lynne

Amy,
I had written to you about the YP of our church. Last night, my husband and I ran into another couple from our church. The other couple have a high school age daughter. They were telling us that their daughter attended a Christian rock concert/conference (4 days) and the high school mission trip.
The couple was disturbed that YP decided after 3 days that "he was done" and brought the kids back early from the rock/conference. On the HS mission trip, once again an adult male volunteer (retired man) drove the church bus and YP decided not to come back with the group; basically he left 1 day early. The adult volunteer was on his own bringing the kids back (about a 6 hour drive).
My husband mentioned to them that YP talked about leaving early on the middle school mission trip, but that he did not do it after one of the boys told him he thought the parents would be angry about it.
The man of this couple told us he was on the committee that chose YP for this job, and that there were many other candidates who wanted this job. He was not happy that YP cut out early on the two high school trips.
The man's daughter also told them that YP's wife was on both high school trips, and that she was not acting like her normal self. The daughter said YP's wife was very short tempered, something not previously seen. The man's daughter wondered if YP's wife might be pregnant and thus the poor temperament. The couple thought that if the pregnancy was true, maybe YP's wife wanted to leave early.
So, the mystery continues.

Lynne-

10:53 AM, 2007-Aug-1 .. Posted by YPAmy5

I hope that there is a simple explanation for it all. These concerns should be noted by the parents though and shared with the YP. He needs to be able to share "his side" and the reasoning behind his choices. There very well may be a very good reason for it.
I must say too- that there could have been a very good reason for the 4 day concert trip to be cut short- such as behavioral issues within the group and such. Once when we had the youth group at Cedar Point (and I'd never gave them any indication that we would stay until the park closed) I told the youth it was time to leave at 9 pm (approx. 2 hours before closing)- my reasoning was thus: I had one sick teen and another small clutch of teens that had not followed my guidelines (showing up late at meeting times and arguing about my decisions etc.). To be honest- I was tired and irritable. I was "sick" of their selfish attitudes and disregard for others. A couple of kids were mad at the girl who got sick- for getting sick! She was in their small group and they "ditched" her because she didn't want to ride rides anymore . . . . Anyway- the behavior issues continued at our campground- with one teen walking across the busy highway from our campground to the still open McDonalds because he didn't like the pizza he had purchased when we were leaving the park. I didn't know about the little side trip until I saw him and his friends eating McDs. I was furious. By that time it was 11:30ish pm and I was so strung out from being up since 5 am and spending an entire day in some bad heat with "cranky" teens. If I could have packed them all up and left I would have. Now this isn't to say that all the kids that went on the trip behaved badly- we had some great teens- but a few spoiled it.
I haven't taken a youth group to Cedar Point since. I cringe just thinking of it.
I am not saying this is the case with your YP just that someone needs to be sharing their concerns with him before it turns into a gossip fest and people jump to conclusions.
It seems that a lot of red flags have been raised this summer. It also seems that your committee must have felt he deserved hiring or they would not have done so.
Does your YP have a parent meeting at least once a year? A meeting where information is shared and questions are asked and answered? It's like an organizational meeting and helps keep everyone in the know and on the same page.
Praying for you.
Amy W

Untitled Comment

12:52 PM, 2007-Aug-1 .. Posted by Lynne

Amy,
DH and I feel we do not know enough about the situation to make a judgment. We wondered if YP might have a health problem we are not aware of or some other issue that would explain his behavior. And, we think YP is really good with the kids and that YP is very sincere in his desire to share Christ with these kids. My husband had decided to say nothing about YP wanting to leave the middle school trip early unless he was asked, and Mon. night he was asked.
Since the man was on the committee that hired YP, I asked him what YP's salary was. He told me somewhere in the high $30,000s. I have to tell you that someone making that kind of income would have an extremely hard time getting by here (greater DC metro area). Rent on a small 3 bedroom house is $1700+ per month, and groceries are much higher here than other parts of the country. YP's wife is a teacher, so she probably makes $45,000, but she may want to stay home when they have kids. Who knows?
Our previous YP was a young man with a part-time working wife and small child. He was doing the YP job while attending seminary. It worked out well for him because he could schedule the YP job around his class and homework schedule. The one before him was a woman with grown kids, so this was a second income for her family.
Maybe the YP salary is low because they basically have the summer off other than the mission trips. Maybe the expectation is that YPs, like teachers, will take a summer job if they need more income. You never know what is going on in other people's private lives.