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Names Matter

NAMES MATTER
By Dr. Michael A. Halleen

Jesus looked at him and said, "You are Simon son of John. You will be called
Cephas" (which, when translated, is Peter - or rock).
(John 1:42)

When our son was born these many years ago, we gave him my name (adding "Jr.").
To avoid having two "Mikes" to answer to, we called him "Mick,"
a name I had always wanted to be called—like Mickey Mantle, the great New York Yankee
outfielder and hero of my youth. Unfortunately, to the kids of our son's generation
the name was associated more with Mickey Mouse than with any baseball player, and
by the time Mick was in junior high school he was consistently being subjected to
that humiliation. He decided to use "Mike" instead.

We begin early to attach our name to a vision of our character and the self image
we project. All of us are encouraged and strengthened when our names are treated
with respect, but we hurt when they are used in derision. Parents who refer to their
children as "Klutz" or "Moron" (or worse!) do them a great disservice.
Punkie Nash might not have been the bad boy of our neighborhood if he had been given
something other than that unfortunate nickname. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Peter was no "Rock" when he was first called that, but he grew into it.
That can happen when a name conveys value. In the musical "Man of LaMancha,"
based on Cervantes' story of Don Quixote, the hero greets Aldonza, a crude woman
of the streets, as though she were a queen. He gives her a beautiful new name, Dulcinea.
Tough and cynical, she responds with skepticism, yet gradually starts to become
the good person he believes her to be. She sings,

Can't you see what your gentle insanities do to me?
Rob me of anger and give me despair.
Blows and abuse I can take and give back again;
Tenderness I cannot bear.

At the end of the play Don Quixote lies dying, confused and unaware. Aldonza pleads
with him to remember her name. Is it so important? he wonders. "Everything!"
she says. "My whole life! Once you found a girl and called her Dulcinea, and
when you spoke the name, the angels seemed to whisper, Dulcinea, Dulcinea."

Names matter. Call your children by names that angels can echo. Honor your spouse
with a title conveying only tenderness and love. Let students and colleagues and
neighbors and friends be mentioned in words that they would be pleased to hear whispered
across the heavens.