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For My Good

Yesterday evening, while discussing all that has been going on and listing all that I am struggling with, I posed this question to Mr. Steady:
Am I struggling for God or against God?
His response: What does God say?
I responded with: “I don’t know. He’s been silent.”
I’ve been thinking more on this today. Actually, this has been constantly in the back of my mind today. What is God telling me?
For months I have felt God saying to me, “Be still. Be patient.”
And so I have tried to be still and patient and I know I haven’t been extremely successful with either as of yet. I am and will always continue to be, a work in progress.
I am thinking that it isn’t so much how I deal with the struggles I’m in but how I allow God to deal with them.
I thought that when I woke up this morning I would have a better perspective on it all. I don’t. And while I’d love to shout out and tell some certain somebodies exactly what I am thinking and how they have “wronged me”, I won’t. More than any vindication I think I could get from it, I want to do what God wants me to do. When the time comes (and I pray that it comes) that I can sit and talk one on one with a certain somebody I want only to say what God wants me to say. And right now, He’s not giving me anything to say.
Honestly, though, I’ve got plenty to say- I just know that not much of it will please God or make for a more pleasant situation. And while I feel like I’m the only one willing to try to see both sides and am feeling the other party is being extremely self-centered or that I am taking the moral high road and they are not or that I’m being the “bigger person” while they would rather be-little me -– I’m not dumb enough to think that’s the real truth. I am mad. I am angry. I am furious and I am disgusted. But I will not lose my temper and give the devil a foothold in this matter. While it deeply pains me not to be able to stand up for myself, to speak my side, to share how the situation has deeply hurt me—I know that even if that platform was open to me it would fall on deaf ears and hard hearts.
So I’ll keep on keepin’ on. I will wait. I will continue to pray that God keeps my heart soft in this situation (and in others), no matter how much it hurts to do so. I will pray for God to heal my heart as only He can do. I will continue to pray for the restoration I desperately crave and fear may not come. I will continue to find solace in the One Who Made Me and be reminded that all His plans for me are for my good.
For my good.

conflict

4:26 PM, 2007-Apr-30 .. Posted by rashel

Please know that what I am about to say is meant with love, not with condemnation. I do not know your circumstance or you personally. All I can do is share some things with you that I have learned. I attended a homeschool convention this weekend and one of my workshops was on conflict. She put some great perspective on dealing with conflicts and why they arise. First, conflict can be a great opportunity for spiritual growth and to glorify God. It is an opportunity to show God in my heart, even when I don't want too. Picture your heart as a cup and now picture that cup full of water. What happens when that cup is bumped? The water spills out right. Well, our hearts can get "bumped" by conflict and we need to see what is spilling out of them. If God is in our hearts, then He will spill out and His love will be shown, but if sin is in our hearts, than that sin will spill out and be shown. Sometimes we need conflict to show us exactly what is in our hearts. Second, we are not to look at who did what or how, we are to ask "What does God's word say?" How would God have us respond? Is making our own desires and feelings known that important or is that our selfish flesh coming out? Will making my desires known really make me happy, will it make my brother or sister happy? We are to love one another above ourselves. One thing to remember, my sins against my saviour are far more serious than anyone's sins against me. I pray you will find resolve in your conflict and peace through God.
Rashel

Untitled Comment

8:25 AM, 2007-May-1 .. Posted by gokings13

****I am mad. I am angry. I am furious and I am disgusted. But I will not lose my temper and give the devil a foothold in this matter.****

The devil DOES have a foot hold. It's anger. And if you don't let it out, it turns into bitterness and resentment.........
I know, because I am 'walking in this state' right now. I am in the process of learning and forgiving.....but it is a long process. Bitter roots, and resentment runs deep.

I don't have an answer for you...I am working towards that answer too. But I do know that the steps towards healing is forgiveness, releasing anger (appropriately) and knowing who *I* am in Christ.

Praying for you today.
laura