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Oh Birthdays

What a weekend! My darling middle child and daughter #2 turned 6 on Saturday! On birthdays we try to spend the whole day celebrating our honored child’s specialness (we usually have a special breakfast and spend the day at a museum of their choice followed by a special favorite foods birthday dinner)- this year was a bit different though. We started the morning with hugs, kisses and presents and then breakfast @ IHOP- her choice. Unfortunately we didn’t get the early start we had hoped for and we were eating our breakfast right @ almost 2 yr old son’s cranky time. Sassafras and her sister did great and seemed to really enjoy themselves, but their Daddy and I . . . . well, we couldn’t wait for that breakfast to be over. We then stopped at Krispy Kreme to watch the donuts being made (couldn’t leave without purchasing some . . . . ).

On the way home we dropped Sassafras off @ my parent’s so that she could have special time with her Auntie Em who couldn’t come to the birthday party later on. Auntie Em did beauty shop/spa with Sass and then took her out to lunch. Sassafras then spent the rest of the afternoon being pampered and playing one-on-one with her grandparents.

That evening we had some of the family over for a birthday supper as well as cake and ice cream. It was wonderful and it seems that Sassafras had a most excellent day. It wasn’t what I’d envisioned for her birthday- I was hoping for a more sedate family day . . . . . but it wasn’t my day.

Let me share something with you all. I made a HUGE mistake early on when our oldest had her first birthday. I had a huge, involved (and very $$$) birthday party for the whole entire family (my DH is one of 9- all are married with kiddos of various ages). 9 years ago this meant having about 35 people. The next year when Maiden turned 2, I knew I didn’t want to do that again but still invited all my extended family and my DH’s parents. This was about 22 people. And so the years went and so I continued to invite all these people (and more as the family grew). Then last year I realized how stressed out I was over these parties and how much $$$ I was spending. We decided to scale way back and invite just the grandparents- and since my sister still lives @ home we invited her too and since we were inviting my sister then we invited my brother and his wife and baby boy. (Thankfully I only come from a family of 3 kids.) I also decided not to go all out with a big meal but to make the main course and ask everyone else to bring a dish (everyone was willing). We kept the food simple and went with a birthday theme that allowed us to use some things around the house for decorations (therefore saving more $$). It was a wonderful party and I didn’t stress out to the near point of meltdown that I had in previous years. Now, Sassafrass’s birthday is a week before Mr. Conductor's birthday and we thought we’d do Mr. Conductor’s First Birthday in the same low-key way as Sassafrass’s.

This is where things went horribly wrong. I had previously spoken with some of our relatives and let them know that we just weren’t into doing the BIG party scene this year. Well, one of my more vocal (and dare I say obstinate) relatives took MAJOR offense at not being invited. I spent months trying to smooth ruffled feathers and almost a year later I still heard whiffs of complaints thru the family grapevine. So the only thing to do: invite unhappy relatives to kiddo’s parties. I decided I wasn’t going back to the big shin-dg stuff but would just invite the cranky ones who just couldn’t understand my reasoning and made things worse with their complaining. Sigh. Good news, this seems to have worked. I only had to increase the party list by 2 people and I haven’t heard any complaints now. At first it was the principle of the thing and I wasn’t going to back down, not ever- I felt I had explained myself thoroughly enough. But being right doesn’t make one righteous and I found it was truly easier just to say “come to the party” after all, cooking for 2 more isn’t a biggie.

So I think I have solved our birthday party dilemma. I have also found that having the kid’s parties on the weekend closest to their birthdays leaves their birthday-day open to be just sweet, simple family time. Sass just, unfortunately, had a Saturday birthday this year. Mr. Conductor's birthday falls on Sunday (March 5). Sigh.

Untitled Comment

11:48 AM, 2006-Feb-27 .. Posted by kayinpa

Happy Birthday to your daughter! My 2nd child (girl) will be six on Wednesday! We will be celebrating her birthday (with friends and family) on Sunday the 5th. How funny! :)

I am there

2:26 PM, 2006-Feb-27 .. Posted by LindaI

I just finished a party on Saturday. It is fun... My sons first. My daughter has had 3 parties all of which I go all out with pinyata and gift bags, games for the kids... I started thinking ... add 2 more kids into this deal like we want... becomeing a stay at home mother this year... how can I keep this up???