Home Sweet Simple Home
Update on Mr. Steady and much more than
Mr. Steady finally was able to go to his doctor last Thursday. The doctor diagnosed a pinched sciatic nerve and gave him an anti-inflamatory medication and some stretching techniques.That was Thursday, on Saturday Mr. Steady spent the entire day in bed- miserable. He stood up and lifted his shirt and told me to look at his torso- it was obviously crooked.
He slept horribly on Saturday nite and so did I. On Sunday morning as we were getting ready for church he announced that he would not be going with us.
I was crushed. The prospect of taking 3 children to church by myself and teaching his Sunday School class on the fly and finding others to help with the children as I would be on the platform with the worship team for half the service was . . . . . daunting. I felt deflated. I knew, if he said he couldn't go- he truly could not go. Mr. Steady never misses church- ever. He spent Easter Sunday's entire service standing in the back (his back hurt way to much to sit) so I knew it must be bad. I was also torn- between staying home with my husband and needing to be at church. There wasn't anything I could really do for him here at home but I just wanted to be with him. I didn't want to go to church without him and sit in a pew without him and read my bible alone without him holding it next to me or just the simplicity of sitting next to him in worship- feeling the warmth of his body and that contentment. I didn't want to have to answer over and over again the question, "Where is Mr. Steady?"
Sigh. I knew Mr. Steady could see and feel my keen disappointment. I knew I wasn't handling the situation like I should and I just could not pull myself out of the pit of my own self pity. I knew I was being selfish.
I prayed all the way to church. I prayed during church. I simply missed my husband. After service a mom of one of my teens came up to ask me how things were going and I, knowing I couldn't say "fine" one more time said, "Okay," with a slight nod of my head. She then asked about Mr. Steady and I told her. She asked how we were dealing with it and I honestly replied that I was feeling very frustrated. We talked a bit more- a lovely uplifting conversation and that was that.
Except that you don't know that this lovely woman who listened to me in my exasperation has nursed her husband through two bouts of cancer and that he was, a couple of months ago, told there was nothing more that could be done if they had not gotten all the cancer with the last surgery- neither chemo or radiation would help. They told him it might not come back but it very well could. They said- make a list of the things you've always wanted to do and do them.
I was ashamed to have poured out so much to a woman who has had to deal with so much more than me. I spent the afternoon praying and asking God to give me the words to apologize to her when I saw her again that evening.
As I went up to speak with her she handed me some papers she had planned on bringing me and a card. I quickly hugged her and thanked her for listening to me that morning and then apologized as she was the last person who needed to hear me speak of such trivial things. She smiled and hugged me back and said that I had been on her mind that afternoon and that she had prayed for me. She said she tried to imagine what I was dealing with- with 3 small children still at home and she thought how thankful she was that she didn't have to deal with that. My heart was simply touched by someone who was so open and honest and lovely. I learned from her- I took away not only a sense of peace and calm (that the Lord knew I sorely needed) but the confident reassurance that God doesn't give us more than we can handle- that is as long as we allow Him to handle it for us!
Later on we opened the card to find, not only a note of encouragement from this lovely women, but a check also. She had overheard my bro-in-law (one of Mr. Steady's brothers) giving me the information for a massage therapist and tell me the cost (and that our insurance wouldn't cover it- the brothers work together). The check was for the exact amount of one therapy session. She wanted to give us that.
Words can't express how very stunned and deeply touched Mr. Steady and I both were. Last night as I lay in bed praying, I asked God to help me to be more like that- more open and less defeated by my own problems. I do not want to forget that there are blessings in the midst of troubles- there are always blessings. I asked the Lord to give me opportunities to share and give as this lovely lady shared and gave of herself to me.
And that is why I find myself softly singing today-
Make me a blessing, Make me a blessing.
Out of my life, may Jesus shine.
Make me a blessing, Oh Savior I pray.
Make me a blessing to someone today.
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11:28 AM, 2007-Apr-17 .. Posted by rashelI just had to let you know that I was wiping tears as I read your story. Thank you for sharing it with us. I hope Mr. Steady finds some relief soon.
Rashel
What an eye opener!
2:06 PM, 2007-Apr-17 .. Posted by AnonymousThanks so much for this post.. today I was having my own pity party of sorts. That stopped with the reading of your post! Both the incredible openness of your friend whose husband has the cancer, and with your volunerability of telling your true feelings about Mr. Steady's pain, and your love for him.
I have had some overwhelming situations lately, but this showed me that sometimes we can be so 'into our own problems', that we miss the bigger thing that the Lord wants us to see and know.
You are a blessing! Thanks!
DJ
http://dj-chocoholiclife.blogspot.com/
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3:31 PM, 2007-Apr-18 .. Posted by SongofJoyWow - this brought tears to my eyes. I know how bad sciatic pain can be and pray that your husband will be feeling better soon. What a blessing that woman was!
Carol
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