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VBS, life lessons & Rock Steady Man

VBS has come and gone.
Almost.
We still have the program Sunday morning.
Followed by the picnic.
But for the most part- It’s over.
We had some rough patches and my oldest learned another life lesson after choosing to pass along information (i.e. gossip).
It was a difficult for me to step back and let her learn this life lesson as a couple of adults blew it way out of proportion in an extremely public way but Mr. Steady remained rock-steady and took care of the situation. I was able to squish the automatic momma reaction of “protect your child no matter what”.
By God’s grace alone.
I am proud of my Mr. Steady and how he handled the situation- he did so much better than I would have done. I am ever so glad that I quelled the momma bear instinct and walked away- allowing my husband, who was already handling it continue to handle it.
Bottomline- I would rather my daughter learn at 11 what can happen when we “innocently” spread gossip than let her grow up thinking such “small” things were acceptable and/or to continue with such talk. And while we were all unprepared for the lengths that two other mommas took it- we were able to use it all as teaching moments and Life Lessons. Maiden was able to see that what she saw as a small thing quickly mushroomed into something big, nasty and ugly and hurt others.
However- Mr. Steady made sure to point out to Maiden that the gossip she spread did not cause those two mommas to launch a verbal attack right in the church lobby- our 11 year old was not responsible for those adults’ decisions. They are.
As far as teaching moments and life lessons go- this played out real big. We could have set no better stage than the one that played out in front of us. It as difficult and painful to experience but it was such a big thing that I imagine it will be burned in Maiden’s brain and psyche for all time. It has spawned some great discussions for us as a family. We have discussed about how to “properly” rebuke a brother or sister in Christ, how to handle ourselves in heated situations, how pride can get in the way of making matters right and various ways to stop gossip in its tracks.
Of course it was a reality check for me also. To make sure that I continually set a good example for my children and that I make a point not to gossip or share information either.
Mr. Steady has continued to take charge of the situation even going so far as to speak with one momma on the phone when she wanted to “have a talk” with me. He knew that she wanted to “hash it out” and that her words would be hurtful and that possible gossip would spew forth. He also knew that I truly was ill at ease about speaking with her.
I am so very thankful that God led me to step back and allow my husband to take the situation in hand. His kind firmness was refreshing to see as well as an eye-opener for me in better ways to handle volatile situations.
Once again I am profoundly thankful that the Lord saw fit to bless me with a Mr. Steady.

For understanding: The gossip: Maiden shared with a friend that another friend had called him a "girlie". Simply put- Maiden should never have shared that information and should have put more thought into how hurtful that young man found those words.

<em>Untitled Comment</em>

4:05 PM, 2008-Aug-8 .. Posted by seventhheaven

We mothers can overreact at times. I think you were very wise in how you handled this. Fathers for the most part can seperate the emotional part and handle situations with the kids more rationally Ive found. Sometimes we can overprotect our children from life lessons. Well done here.

Edited by seventhheaven on 2008-Aug-8 at 3:06 PM