Sunday, November 2, 2008
Short But Sweet!
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Since I last wrote, I've "battled" on many fronts. With my husband... I was served with legal papers by a local sheriff. Apparently, my husband thought to take me to small claims court. He was suing me for $5,000 for money he said I spent without permission. He also stated on the papers that I sold stuff of his. I never spent such an exorbitant amount. Nor did I sell his belongings, ever. Silly, silly, silly. At first, I was not completely surprised. My husband has taken to using the courts (and the children) to continue his abuse of me now that I'm not underneath his roof. But, after a day or two, I started to feel entirely annoyed. Thankfully, my attorney took my place at the hearing and saved me six hours of travel-time and a whole lot of emotional stress. The case was dismissed, and my attorney said that such allegations would be addressed in our upcoming trial. I can't believe I'm enduring a trial. A trial! Why is it that I am on trial for leaving a horrific home and a life of fear!? In the meantime, the children have continued to excel at school. All of them have high grades and soaring spirits. The twelve-year-old brought home a wooden CD case that he made in "Tech Ed". Tons of neat artwork and fantastic worksheets have been shared. My fifteen-year-old brings home math work that I find impossible to comprehend, but she is faring quite splendidly! She even has a "performance" through choir coming up this next week that I hope to attend! With five of the eight children away to school each day, one would think I'd have more time to rest and relax. Right? Wrong! It seems I'm busier than ever. Not only have I begun sewing, again, and selling on Ebay, I've also been working at putting up an "adjoining" website called Hearts at Home Shoppe. I still have a ton of things to do on it, as I need the peace to do html and formulate a unique template. It's fun, but time-consuming. This past week, I have gotten the template's "skeleton" completed. Now I am working on the listings and suchlike. I've found that my "best sellers" are things that I no longer utilize full-time: cloth sanitary napkins, cloth diapers and head coverings. So that is where my focus has been. I spend most of my "work time" sewing up orders and readying them for mailing. I also have begun free-lancing, again. When my three oldest were small, and I was a single mother, I supported my little family through my writing endeavors. Now, I am attempting to get "back into the groove" of the business of words. What makes it challenging is the fact that I no longer have a folder of tear sheets. My husband destroyed most of my past published work, and what remained is now in his possession. Once again, I am starting from scratch. My husband, as I mentioned earlier, has not only been using the legal system to try and "get at" me, he's also busy using the children. Instead of making it easier on them, he speaks of me in wretched ways, telling them how terrible I am, that they must not listen to me, and that I am abusing them. He tells them many lies and this has come out gradually without my "pumping" the children for information. This situation is not their fault, and I do not want them to feel "caught in the middle". The simple fact is that the kids love me as well as their Daddy. They need both of us, too. Why make it harder on them!? Last visit, the six and seven year olds came back with cell phones and digital cameras. The batteries soon died out on the camera, and the ones that I had here at the house were not strong enough to power the thing back up. So that was only a source of friction, occasionally. However, that blasted cellphone has caused such a terrible "rift" between my daughter and I. She thought that she could utilize the phone whenever she wanted and however she desired. How angry she got with me when I told her, no. You can use it, but only for an hour a day, after supper. "You're mean! You take everything away from me! Dad's right, you're abusive! That's my phone, you can't have it!" When they left for their third visit with Daddy this last Friday, I told the seven-year-old that she could take it with her, but to leave it at Daddy's house. I told her that I didn't like how the phone was hurting our relationship and that I loved her too much for us to be mad at each other. I said she could play with it as much as she wanted when she was with her father. She was very angry with me and would not speak with me for a while. But I seriously do not think that the phone is in the children's best interest. They are very young, and they have contact with their father three times a week as well as full weekend visits bi-weekly. I am not trying to cut him out of their lives. I am only trying to salvage my own relationship with them. It is hard when my son treats me angrily and hatefully. I would like to seriously put up a post, sometime soon, detailing an incident or three from our recent past. These are situations that hit me continuously throughout the week and leave me feeling absolutely powerless. Instead of being able to respond, parentally, as I feel I should... my husband is always "standing over my shoulder", having been busy "working" on the children. If I respond this way or that, the kids tell me, "See! Dad is right about the things he says to us about you!" I also have terrible fears of my husband that continue on. Everything that I do has the potential of being used by him and twisted. When the children left for their visit this last time, two of the kids had injuries. These surely are "normal" childhood boo-boos. However, I know for fact that he will have taken photographs of the children's owies to prove that I am incapable of caring for them. The three-year-old, for example, has a bruise underneath his eye and down his cheek from having hit the corner of a cabinet while playing. To make matters worse, the first time the children came back from a visit, they brought back with them a plastic toy sword. The six-year-old used this on the three-year-old one afternoon while I was vacuuming. Hello forehead welt and bruise on the back! The night before the children's visit, this weekend, Rebekah fell backward off a single bed she crawled up onto while I was putting laundry away. When she toppled, she hit the end table in the bedroom and cut her right eyelid where there is a crease. The day of the exchange, she woke up looking like she had a black eye! It won't matter that I took the baby to the doctor. He will still say, "See, she's incapable of keeping a proper eye on these children!" Or worse... perhaps he'll try to blame me, personally, for these injuries. After all, at our last hearing, he told the court that I hit the children with boards! Every ouch that the kids experience, I worry over how my husband will use it against me. Every thing I say or do while they're at home with me I know will eventually get back to him. It is pure agony. Well, I have only a couple hours before I am due to go pick the children up from the safe exchange center. I wanted to get some writing in, yet. Thanks again for your love, care and prayers. |
Thoughts
Monday, November 3, 2008 - Untitled Comment
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Monday, November 3, 2008 - Untitled Comment
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Monday, November 3, 2008 - Untitled Comment
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