|
Court is over for now. On Tuesday, we went in front of our new judge. My aunt and a domestic violence worker went with me. Took me. His attorney seemed odd. Things seemed to be moving in our favor. But, as usual, they dragged on and on. The child services social worker was interviewed telephonically after being sworn in, under oath. She provided testimony. I was called as a "witness" - by Steve's attorney. It ran on longer than expected, again, and was rescheduled to reconvene the following day. Yesterday. My aunt was unable to take me, so the domestic violence worker took me, yesterday. She was my support. The only person in the courtroom, besides my attorney, "on my side". As always, my husband had people lined up to testify on his behalf. And he had a gigantic box of "proof" against me sitting beside him. There was so much stuff in there, they had trouble finding what they wanted when they wanted it. My mother in law got up on the stand and lied through her teeth about me. It really hurt. She said they had to post those flyers and come after me, while I was in hiding, because she didn't think her grandchildren would again be seen alive. She said she thought I might drown them in the bathtub! She said I never participated when at family gatherings (his family, mind you) and that my husband did all the filling of plates and caretaking of the children. That I was obsessed with the babies when they were tiny and was overly obsessed with breastfeeding, refusing formula even when they were losing weight! They had photographs of the house, all in shambles. They said I couldn't keep house and it was always a disaster. I HAD to have it clean or my husband would become furious with me! The children and I raced around cleaning, cleaning, cleaning before we left to visit my aunt (the last time we were home), so that it would not further anger my husband! The only thing I can think of, is that he was irate and had a tantrum and threw stuff around the house after we left. Then, my mother in law took pictures. He had pictures his mom had taken, also, of strings of yarn tied to the little ones' beds (the 7, 6 and 3 year old's). I had to testify that it was not "straps" as they were saying, to tie the children to their beds at night, but something that was used by the little ones for "leashes" for their stuffed animals. The 7 year old did it on her own, then the other two had asked to do it, too. So I had cut off some string for them, also. They testified that "tomato staking" children meant that I tied them up! They said that I was against getting medical care for the children, that's why we didn't have insurance. That I was so obsessed with Mennonites and that "religion" that I insisted on having no medical coverage. The truth was that my husband despised doctors, refused to take us, and said the insurance at his job was too much money to be worth it. He had photocopied all of my diaries and the oldest girls' diaries to be used in court. The guardian ad litem insisted that the girls' be disregarded, but mine was used. They pointed out certain entries and made me read them aloud. Entries I made, venting, about how sad I was. They said this proved how unstable I was. My husband wanted to play tapes of phone conversations that he'd recorded. I'd been correct. He'd tapped the phone the last while we were back home. He was trying to prove that I'd "set him up"! Oh, I could go on! And on and on...! In the end, the guardian ad litem recommended nothing of the previous temporary order be changed. She still felt it was best to leave the children with me and give my husband supervised placements. But the judge disagreed and "slapped" my husband's and my hands saying we needed to get along for the children's sake and he scolded my husband for using the belt on the children, but didn't address all the welts, handprints, and bleeding he induced. My husband has unsupervised visitation rights with the children bi-weekly, on weekends. This weekend, in fact, he is to pick up all five of the youngest children Friday and will have them through to Sunday night. I am feeling very concerned and very defeated. I am worried about the children's safety and wellbeing. The one year old has never even been away from me, before, more than a couple hours. How will she fare? Last night, on the children's phone visit with their father, he told them that public school was horrid, and my seven year old hung up telling me that. Up until that phone call she'd been telling me how great it was. I am afraid my husband and mother in law will tell the children to say that I tied them up and hit them with boards, like they testified to in court, and later use them against me. I am afraid of many things that they could do! And I do not feel that my fears are unfounded. Domestic abuse is something that very few people are educated on. And unfortunately, the court process forces the woman to get up on the stand and justify herself for the abuse she endured! Getting away from the violence is only the beginning. It is NOT the end. |
Thoughts
|
|
|
|
|
Anonymous
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|