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smmagers
Said:

You are strong enough to do the court process again!
You have to be. The children need you to be. It might be hard , but it isw well worth it. Was in court protecting my oldest daugter for a long time, many years. It all worked in the end. I had to be strong.
Please keep us updated.
God Bless, mj

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Hisirishgem
Said:

Dear Sister,

My prayers are with you and the children. God will give you all the courage and strength you need to make it through. He will grant you peace and take your hand and guide you in this new season. I pray that you know you are loved by your Heavenly Father and by those of us here.

Things sound like they will be hard to begin with. A whole new culture for you and the kids it would seem, but I can't think of anyone more powerful than our loving Heavenly Father to get you through this obsticle.

Heavenly Father,

I take the time to pray for my dear sister. You knew her before she was born, you know her needs, her childrens need, you know her circumstances right this minute. Father, I pray that you would surround her with peace and strength for the road ahead. That this new journey would be a closer walk with you and one with great joy. Guide and protect her and the children as you seek Victory over their lives. Send people around them to help where there is a need and to seek shelter under Your wing. Lord I pray not only for Victory, but for your will to be done and that my sister and her children can finally have peace once in for all....In Jesus mighty name I pray.....AMEN

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Sabine
Said:

Amen. I come alongside Rebekah in her prayer for you.

Carrie, I can only conclude that you are dealing with spiritual abuse on top of everything else, since the people in your church have collectively turned their backs on you, in spite of hearing or knowing of testimony of your husband's abuse. Coming out of a spiritually abusive church is like coming out of a cult. Ask me how I know.

A book which really helped me is called "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse". There is also some good information on the internet. It's hard to find your footing after leaving a spiritually abusive church. You question everything.

If I could sum up in one word what I needed to really understand from the experience, it is "Grace". So many churches have "Grace" as part of their name and yet show so little grace to their congregation.

Chapter 3 of TSPoSA has a subsection entitled "You may have a hard time with grace"

"The idea of being treated gracefully (treated to a fullness of grace) causes you great difficulty. This springs from the shame-based identity, which tells you that you don't deserve to be treated this way. You find ways to push away the grace extended by God and the gifts from other people, so that you end up going without. Or you accept them with such an overwhelming sense of owing that you find way to "pay back" God and others for what they've done.

For Christians who have been taught an unbalanced idea about the way holiness comes into a believer's life, there will be an automatic rejection of living under grace - really drawing upon grace daily - as nothing more than "cheap grace," sensing that others are lazy, or are taking advantage of God, or are getting off the hook too easily. If you have to work, others should as well."

If you would like to have this book, Carrie, just send me your current address and I will find a way to get it to you.

You can do this, Carrie. The Lord is with you every exhausting step of the way.

Love, Sabine

PS: I'm concerned about the breast lump, too. Please let us know ASAP about the results of your mammogram

PPS: The first chuch I ever really got involved with was called Grace Lutheran Church and I'm happy to report that the name was appropriate.

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Jean
Said:

Carrie, hang in there. It is a long process, but it DOES get better. It took over a year for me to finally be "settled" and done with all the struggles over children and money, etc. That is the nature of leaving someone who is a controlling person. But, like I said, you will get to that point where your world is right again and you can relax, just be patient and follow the path the Lord is leading you on and trust him.
As far as the church thing. For quite a while I was feeling out of place and mis-instructed at my church - it is a Lutheran church (ELCA). I don't like the theology they follow and experimented with a Baptist church for a while. But I kept feeling like God was telling me to hold on and stay where I was - that He had a job for me here, in the Lutheran church I was attending. So, I finally listened and have found peace in knowing that I am where God wants me. It's not a comfy spot, but that is not always what he wants - He does not want us comfy! So, go where you can go, teach your children the bible outside of church and where the church is or is not wrong. Teach them to never believe anything that is not in the bible. The one thing I learned about being Lutheran is that the Lutheran church does not define me, I define it, by my actions everyday and how people see me living out God's word, rather than some of the Lutheran theology that I don't agree with.
Sorry if that sounds lectury - I don't mean it that way.
Take care.
Jean

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jenabc
Said:

Carrie,
I'm praying for you for rest and refreshment and to be able to leave the future in the Lord's hands, and as He says, 'Don't worry about tomorrow; let tomorrow worry about itself; every day has enough trouble of its own.'
I also pray that the lump in your breast is not serious; I know it must be very scary for you, and another thing to worry about on top of everything else.
So I pray again you will be able to let it go and rest in Him.
Love,
Jennie S.

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gabbie427
Said:

Carrie, I am still praying dear!!!!

God's Blessings,
Amy Jo

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Anonymous
Said:

Blessings!
Having come from very very similar situation years ago, I can say that it's never easy but with diligent prayer, positive thoughts and gathering your children together and praying hard together really works.
I never talked badly about their father and after many years of continued contact with him, they no longer see him as they have chosen for themselves. I DID, however, let them know the truth of some things when questioned.
Also, remember that when the children don't want to go see him or if they begin to be forced to having contact with him and they come back a mess, you can request the court appoint them legal representation of their own. Children are NOT represented in a divorce no matter how bad that divorce is. They are legally entitled to it.
As a fellow Mennonite, I understand those "feelings" that you are experiencing with clothing and veiling. I fell away and found that it really didn't make my life easier, it only made me feel farther away from my Heavenly Father. Going back to what I truly believed the Lord wanted me to do made all the difference. Just remember that He doesn't move us temporarily, He moves us for Life:)
Know that you are prayed for diligently in our daily purposed prayers!
God be with thee!
Sister Lori

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Anonymous
Said:

Carrie - Of course you're discouraged! You have changed life as you knew it (even though I firmly believe it's for the better now) to something completely different. You've moved to a new town, a new home with eight children you're responsible for and whose lives have changed right along with yours.
You're in a turmoil about your beliefs, your church, your health, your money, your type of clothing even.

In my opinion, you're still 100% better off. Just think ... now no one is going to dictate what you may or may not do, when and how you should do it, your children (and you) don't have to live in fear anymore.

In the retrial, from what you've already said I think your husband will just dig himself in deeper and you don't have to do a thing but tell the truth. He'll do it all to himself.

As someone else said, put one foot in front of the other and go on. You and yours will be fine. You've done the very hardest part - you left.

Try the Lutheran Church. If you don't like it, don't attend any more. Find another. You are stretching your wings and you're starting to flutter, Carrie!

Sleep and say your prayers...you will be fine. You're in God's hands.

I seem to preach long-winded sermons each time I write and I'm sorry - I don't mean to do that. I just have so much to say to you that I can't say it in small bits.

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peacefulplainness
Said:

Dear Carrie,

I just found your blog yesterday and have looked over much of it. I wish I had found it earlier. I believe that some time ago we used to correspond by e-mail. I am so very sorry for the terrible problems you have been going through. I am praying for you and will continue to. I know it is a time of turmoil and re-thinking many things in life. May the Lord guide you and your dear children.
Love and prayers,
Amy

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Anonymous
Said:

Carrie, of course you're going to feel overwhelmed right now. Life as you've known it for the past several years has completely turned on it's head. I think you've gotten some wonderful advice already. The only thing I have to add is to ask if there is a GC Mennonite church in your area. I know that it's quite different from what you were a part of before, but I think it might be something to consider when looking for a church home. They won't judge you on your past, your attire, or your current situation. They will just welcome you and love you. Please let me know if you want me to help you locate a congregation. ~Nikki

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Anonymous
Said:

You are in my prayers.Let me share my feelings on the veil,I know some very Christian women who wear the veil,They live Godly lives BUT I also know very strong Christian women who do not wear one,No in God's eyes who is better? I feel neither God looks upon the heart of His children,It is what 's in your heart that counts.We can be a testimony to God with or without a veil. You don't have to belong to the Mennonite church ,Search the scriptures and you will find peace.I am and will continue to pray for you!

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Mennobrarian
Said:

Carrie, this trial nonsense may go on for a long time. Please keep pressing forward. Don't stop to ponder insignificant external things such as what to wear and whether or not you have a "Mennonite identity." You have an identity in Christ, and THAT is your focus. This may go on for a long time, and you need to put on your armor and walk closely with Jesus. Don't let yourself get distracted by what you are wearing- that will get sorted out in time when God shows you His plan for your life.
By the way, i know of at least one Mennonite church that would accept you with open arms, if you lived in that state. ;-)

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katenicholl
Said:

Carrie, You are in my thoughts and prayers. Rest in Jesus....He is carrying you. He is the strength you need.

Catherine xx

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Jeannie
Said:

It has been a long while since I last visited and your posts that I have read to get caught up has broke my heart. I do pray for you all and everyone involved in this whole ordeal. I agree with the others here your idenity is in CHRIST JESUS not some "church sect" remember we are all one body!!! We love You

JEANNIE

PS: My new blog is here :

http://the-barn-swallow.blogspot.com/

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