It’s another Sunday. Another Sunday without church. Without formal worship. Without fellowship with like-minded believers.

I am feeling very melancholy today. Very sad.

I thought I’d go through the photos on my laptop that my oldest downloaded from her camera this past year. I found myself crying.

The kitchen filled with a baby jumping in her Jumparoo.

The dining room covered in birthday mess.

My grandmother’s cats… who knows what’s happened to them. She trusted me to take care of them… and now I do not even know if they’re there at the house. Or alive.

Pictures of my oldest daughter’s cat. She loved that animal.

Photographs of the fifteen-year-old’s dog… sized puppy to huge! His first bath, him eating, playing with the children…

I miss home. I miss the familiarity. I miss the security of my surroundings.

I’m hating where I’m at. I’m despising not being allowed to go outdoors or even peer out a window freely.

I’m hating it all.

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Sweetmama2
Said:

Hi,
Thanks for the update and I am praying for you and the children. I hope that this gets resolved some so you are able to go outside. The sunshine heps when one is depressed.
Take care
Peg

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chimicole
Said:

Sending love and hugs to you Carrie....

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Anonymous
Said:

Church: You don't need a building to Worship God. You have oodles of children, who you are training in His Ways, making them 'like minded'..........
Maybe your Worship inside that shelter will lead those who do not know Him out of the darkness?
Maybe your Love for Him in difficult circumstances shining through when everyone else is down........will lead them to Him?
And, if I recall, your 'church' and it's 'people' have turned on you anyway??
I know you miss what is 'normal'...(routine, habit)....but that is part of the abuse.
Abuse, is normal.
You need a NEW normal. A new routine, a new fresh way of Loving Christ.
You need to embrace your freedoms in Christ.....and share your deep love for Him with others....
Nothing happens to us by chance. Everything is sifted through the Hands of God first.
Satan can only tempt us with HIS permission.
Be a light dear.......be a light.
Satan wants you to feel anger, hate, selfishness, injustice, vengance. The evil one wants you to be angry, upset, uncomfortable, outraged, indignant.
Because if you act this way, in your dress............others will turn their noses up at God and say "see, what use is He.......look at her".

Tell satan to buzz off.
Choose to follow Christ.....freely!

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Anonymous
Said:

could you ask animal welfare to check on them?

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Monica
Said:

You will find a new familiarity in God's time. There was no security in your old life, no stable routine. You won't be where you are forever, it is just a place to lead to the next place, you are just passing through. Jeremiah 29:11

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rildapeel1
Said:

Blessings Carrie, I know this is difficult although knowing this to shall pass will help you to do the best you can in this situation. At least your children are with YOU. That is a good thing. Sending a [[[[[ HUG ]]]]] and a prayer as God brings you what you all need for peace, harmony and Joy. In Jesus' Holy Name Believing His will is done as in heaven. rilda

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Jen S.
Said:

I'm still praying. Like another poster said, try to know deep down in your heart, that this is not forever. Only the Lord knows your future and where you will be, but I'm sure the way its set up there is to give you a safe place until you can move on to the next thing.

(((HUGS))

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Anonymous
Said:

It's so easy, Carrie, to start of thinking as your abused past in nostalgic terms. After a while you think it wasn't that bad...that somehow you could have made it work...that maybe you did something to start the abuse...that security of knowing what was next is better that an uncertain, safe future for which you have to fight. I know; I felt the same way. That's precisely why abused children cry for their abusive parents...it was security because it was familiar. Don't give up, Carrie. Let the Lord carry you through this strange, difficult transition to freedom. We're all praying for you.

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Anonymous
Said:

This is my email
Tabaithab@gmail.com
My name is Tabaitha
I know what you are going through.I am a Christian homeschooling mama of 5.I have been in an abusive marriage for 17 years and his family abused me too.I have been in those shelters many times.You are not alone.

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