I am living in a shell of self-pity.

Terrible but true.

Crack me out!

My husband has continued to find new ways to torture me, and to make life extremely difficult for everyone around me… particularly those helping me…

The shelter has closed its doors to all others needing a safe place to stay on the chance he would “stage” an abused woman within the doors. He’s shown himself sneaky and conniving in a myriad of ways.

They've even posted "Missing Children" flyers, urging people to contact them if they should see "these missing children", as they are with an "unstable mother".

When our support meeting rolled around, the shelter had to admit women and children in a different manner to protect them… and me. I had to wait within the confines of the main shelter area until someone came to get me and travel with me through locked doors.

My husband and inlaws continue to track us, circle the shelter and my relatives' home and have even begun chasing staff workers at the shelter.

The surveillance cameras are on more, now. The windows have been given new coverings, and the alarms are turned on earlier.

It seems he’s transferred to a new hotel… to be nearer our location.

Today was the day I met with the attorney I secured a consultation with through Judicare. It was not a productive meeting. It seems he cannot help me because I have not been in this county long enough, do not have a “residence” other than the women’s abuse shelter, and wasn’t the one to first file.

Because Judicare will not pay for the attorney to travel to the county my husband filed for custody in, I still have no representation.

He did, however, make photocopies of the legal documents that I received, took a written statement from me and will be forwarding his own notes from our meeting to Judicare. I am told within two to three days I should hear back from them regarding someone in that jurisdiction that will be able to assist me. Probably by phone.

Very disheartening.

I am not sure how I will get all of the information that is so important to our case to someone I cannot go see in person… but must rest in the fact that God will work even this out for our good.

The lawyer that I saw today told me he’s never seen a case quite this messy in all his twenty-eight years working in this field.

I received a phone call from the district attorney’s office in the county I resided in before coming to this shelter. Apparently, my husband has been attempting to “light fires” under those in legal authority to get me arrested for a felony – keeping children from their father.

Ironically, my husband would be unhappy to learn that it back-fired.

I am being offered aid from them. On the day of the custody hearing, I am to go to their office, first, to talk to the victim witness protection program. Someone will come with me into the courtroom.

It is late. Almost midnight. Time to close the computer down, and go to bed.

Rest is so brief between the little ones going down for the night… and morning light.

Share Your Thoughts Share this with a Friend

safords
Said:

I am praying for you. I cannot imagine! You write very, very well! I am touched by your love for your children and your strength to keep them safe at all cost. The Lord will work things out for you. I wish a beautiful country setting for you where your children can be free as lambs. God bless you.

Link This Entry

beth
Said:

Dear Carrie,

My heart aches for you in this difficult situation. How I wish I had the resources to break you and your children free!

Is there any possibility that they can transfer you to a shelter far away, Carrie? You'd still have all the same things to work out, but you'd shake your husband for a time anyway. I pray that if this is possible it will be done quickly.

I do not know why you are not hearing the answers to your prayers, other than that sometimes the saints have to suffer far beyond what they feel they can endure. I know you have a lovely, Godly spirit and are raising arrows for the King. That will put you on the enemy's hit list for sure, dear sister.

Even the saints get weary and need to rest. This is a season to endure. Seasons pass and change, although in cases like this, it doesn't seem that it can go too fast! This tribulation will close though. There will come a day when you and your young ones will have a place to call home, pets, gardens, your own pillows and you will not be afraid. I pray the day will come quickly.

May He give you His perfect peace.

Love,
Beth

Link This Entry

Anonymous
Said:

OH Carrie,
Is there any chance of filing a restraining order against him so that he cannot be within so many feet, miles, whatever of the shelter? Have the police come to see the abuse or question the children yet? Also, how are your parents holding up under all of this??
I am still praying for all of you!
Cheryl

Link This Entry

Anonymous
Said:

I hope this is ok to say Carrie, but can't you get to a shelter that changes your identity and places you in a state where no one can find you? I am sure you can find one online or through the shelter you are at..also, the restraining order needs to be done ASAP. The Lord gave you the wisdom dear sister to protect yourself and your blessed children.

*praying hard for you and your dc*

Link This Entry

blessedmomof10
Said:

Carrie,
I noticed the new blog -- I have resumed blogging again here at HSB..... I am so very sorry about your situation and will keep you & your children in my prayers!!

Blessings,
gloria

Link This Entry

gabbie427
Said:

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I don't have any good advice for you right now, but I wanted you to know that I will definately be praying about your situation!!!!

God's Blessings,
Amy Jo

Link This Entry

Anonymous
Said:

Sounds like a train wreck.
I cannot imagine, as I have never experienced what you are going through.........
It 'sounds like' 2 people who are very frantic to have their sides of the story told and believed by masses.
I totally understand that. When I am wronged, lied about, slandered........I want everyone to know that I am innocent.
That's only fair.
But........
Matthew 27:1-44
He said, nothing........yet was perfectly innocent.
I struggle with this concept too.

Link This Entry

Anonymous
Said:

Carrie,

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. How sad that a man would hurt his wife and children so badly. I am still praying for you often. My family is following your saga with prayer and concern.

I second asking about being transferred. Our local shelter does this often for the higher end abuse cases, like yours. They do not tell where the women and children go. They move in very careful movements and timing. They move under the cover of darkness and disguise if needed. They are very careful with it and have full protection of the women and children.

Please ask about this. It takes a bit of time to do as it has to be very carefully orchestrated. But it can be done.

Link This Entry

HandsNHearts
Said:

Trusting in The Lord is the only thing you have to lean on right now, and your strong faith is going to help you in ways you haven't even thought of yet.

As to being silent within your innocence as one suggested...Don't do it! This is not the time to be silent and allow the chips to fall where they may. I know The Lord has a plan here, and I know that no matter what the outcome it is and has always been a part of His Will since before it all began, but we are talking about not only YOUR safety here, but the safety of your children as well.
There is no room for silence in this at all. His actions, just the few you've shared, are an opening for satan to try to take hold. Don't you dare spend one minute in his pity party, thinking things are somehow disheartening right now.
They aren't. You are doing what you MUST do in hiding these children. If you allow things to slow in progression and allow those feelings of distress and depression to enter, you will slow down and your guard will lower. That is a dangerous position to be in.
Can you get out of there into another shelter? Farther away, the better, just for safety? Obviously these workers can see what is going on, and while it may not be the first time they've dealt with it, they are having to 'reevaluate' their set up an awful lot lately to accommodate all that he might attempt to gain access or steal alway the children. That would be a signal to me to move out and seek a more safe location.
I know you aren't thinking of moving this far away, but if there is any way we could help you expedite a move or relocation to a shelter down here, let me know. I love you and hate that this has all come to this in your life, but my main concern is your safety and the safety of the children. There is no path that should be over-looked or considered in this, you know that.

HandsNHearts

Link This Entry

Anonymous
Said:

I am sorry, I was not clear.
YES if dh is abusive (physically towards you or the kids, s#xually towards you or the kids) yes, you need to seek shelter. Whatever it takes.
The 'Scriptural Silence' I am speaking of is the need to blog, post, call, or just in general talk to everyone and anyone who will listen to one side.
People keep using your name, so there is no anonimity....(sp) and I would hate for your words to get manipulated by 'the system' against you.........
I totally sympathize with your situation, and protecting the kids are your responsibility.......but I just want you to be mindful of what you put in print, because the evil one will use who ever is available to come against you.

Link This Entry

Anonymous
Said:

You said: I have been instructed to write everything that I remember down...And it is impossible to see how that will someday help me in these circumstances…

You also said: I am being offered aid from them. On the day of the custody hearing, I am to go to their office, first, to talk to the victim witness protection program. Someone will come with me into the courtroom.

MY COMMENT:

Write everything down. Trust me, when you get before a judge, you will be grateful that someone from the victim witness program has that information. Your husband will be there. You will be scared. You won't be thinking rationally. Trust me, writing down everything you can remember (get a notebook and write anytime you remember something new, it will be an ongoing project, not a once-and-done thing).

Find out if you have a domestic violence legal clinic (some shelters may not know about those). Get a good attorney and trust that attorney, even if it doesn't make sense, even if it makes your insides churn at how unfair it is, even if you want to defend yourself against him.

Don't sink to his level. Don't let your pride interfere with the truth.

from, a friend who's been there

Link This Entry