Finding Contentment

Snow!

In my part of the south we usually have about two good snows per year. But because we are still in the middle of a big drought and are on level three (no outside watering, 4-minute showers, etc.) water restrictions, I really wasn't expecting much in the way of winter storms this year.

But yesterday we woke up to snow! It didn't last long, but it was nice while it was there. It was enough for all the public school kids to get a day off. And because two of my kids had dental appointments anyway, I gave them the day off to play in the snow, too!

A speedy home buying process

On Friday, he called back to tell me that we had to close before the new year, or we run the risk of losing our loan. You’ve probably heard about the record number of foreclosures recently. If I am understanding correctly, the guidelines or requirements for home loans are going to be much more stringent in 2008. Who knows if we would still qualify?

So I have been running around like crazy for three days, trying to do all the stuff needed to update our loan package, lock in our contract with the seller, find the best rate on homeowner’s insurance, etc.

We had a real estate agent, but had to drop her as the seller didn’t want to use an agent for this transaction. I can’t blame him either. He is already selling us the home for a very good price, simply because we’ve been renting from him (either in this house or the one we originally moved into when we married) for 12 years. He also didn’t really want to sell the house, he did it because I didn’t want to move and begged him to ;  )

But since he’s not paying for a real estate agent, and we really can’t afford to pay for a real estate agent, that means that I am doing all the leg work. And we have never gone through the home buying process before…. Luckily, we have a good loan officer who is very helpful.

Please pray that everything goes smoothly. We have planning to buy a house since the beginning of the year, but Mark’s job loss put us in a bind. I thought we had lost our loan, but God saw fit to still bless us. We had to start saving all over again, though, and I’m scared we won’t be able to come up with quite enough money.

However, we really believe this is what God is leading us to do. Our struggles just make us better appreciate our blessings, don’t they?

That stressful Christmas tree

Well, it's that time of year again. The annual putting up of the Christmas tree. This has been a stressful time for me since I was a child.

When I was growing up, we always had a real tree. Being the frugal, single mom that my mother was, we never got our tree until the week before Christmas. By then the tree lots were trying to get rid of whatever they had left and Mom always got the tree at a deep discount – it helped that the lady knew how to negotiate! And we didn’t care – we loved picking it out, even if our choices were slim.

Being that we lived in a city with millions of people and took public transportation everywhere, Mom always tried to buy from a tree lot close to home. That way, we could walk down the street (us three kids and mother) carrying the tree. We would take turns, two at time. One would carry the trunk and the other would carry the top. This was fine until my teenage years, when everything embarrassed me…

But when we got home the real stress would begin. We had to find a way to make that tree stand up in a tree stand. Now I have no idea if we had a cheap tree stand, or if these last trees on the lot always had warped trunks, or what. But it was never as simple as putting the tree in the stand and turning the screws tight to hold it up. Invariably, as soon as we did that, the tree would slowly but surely fall over.

Mom would send everyone on a quick scavenger hunt for Tinker Toys and blocks that could be put between the trunk and the screws to try and even it out. It was usually an all day process to get the tree to stand up, and stress levels were always high.

Fast forward to when I got married. I was not going to have that stress. I insisted on an artificial tree so it would stand up every time. Problem solved – or so I thought.

You see, I would be all for just throwing the tree up and putting the ornaments on every year. Christmas is supposed to be a happy season, not a stressful one.

But my husband, bless his heart, has always had issues about the arrangements of the furniture, etc. in rooms. Oftentimes I come home from wherever to find a room or two in the house completely rearranged. I’m pretty flexible, so this usually doesn’t bother me as long as I’m not there during the actual rearranging. It’s never redecorated, you understand – just rearranged.

We usually put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving, and this year was no exception. Or, at least, we tried. Our living room is small, and finding a place for the Christmas tree every year is a challenge.

I really don’t care if the living room is crowded during the holiday season, or if the tree looks right next to this or that. But it is a big deal to Mark. So after pulling out all the decorations and rearranging several big items, the room still didn’t feel right to him. Needless to say we didn’t get the tree up that day. We took a break and tried again a couple of days later.

The same stressful stuff happened, but the tree eventually got put up after Mark’s computer was moved out of the living room and into the bedroom. I thought everything was finally okay, but yesterday Mark was unhappy because he didn’t have much room to maneuver where his computer is in the bedroom. He was contemplating rearranging again…

The tree is the only decoration up so far. I haven’t had the heart to put anything else out. I love Christmas trees once they are up, but I just can’t seem to get away from those bad childhood memories of the stress that accompanies the traditional tree trimming.

The only bright spot is taking pictures of the kids as they put the ornaments on. Adam, 4, squeezed a glass ball a little too hard and it broke. As he held it up to me, I saw a look of amazement on his face and heard him say, “I very strong.” And I actually smiled.

Friendship: A gift from God

This past weekend as I strove to count my blessings and discover what I was really thankful for, these verses came to mind.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Even though the verses refer to “friends” they have sort of become our family theme over the past year. Each family member is considered a friend, and each good friend is considered family – and what would we in this world of conflict and strife do without our friends and family to pick us up when we fall?

Saturday morning we (my husband, myself, our three kids and our two dogs) drove an hour and a half to the home of our dear friends Nancy and Ronnie.  Nancy and I cooked a big Thanksgiving dinner, watched a couple of shows on the Home and Garden Network together, walked the dogs together and dealt with kids’ tears and arguments together.

I had an absolutely wonderful time. Why? These were all things that I could have done by myself at home. I think “together” is the key word here. I love Nancy like a sister, and before she moved a couple of months ago we did everything together.

My husband, Mark, and Nancy’s husband, Ronnie, are also great friends. They spent most of the day riding a go-kart around a track Ronnie had graded around their property. They also spent time playing video games and watching movies. I could see the little boys inside these two grown men as they “played” the day away.

Nancy and Ronnie’s son and my son are best friends, and my teenage daughter (like most girls her age), loves to play with and care for Nancy’s baby.

But all this aside, there is something about Nancy and Ronnie that has drawn my family to them. They are good people, as we say here in the south. Nancy offers unconditional love (and chocolate ice cream) whenever I am having a bad day. Ronnie offers friendship and “man talk” during fishing trips whenever Mark needs time away from the kids.

Nancy and Ronnie are unlike our other friends in that we don’t need to spend money or go somewhere with them to have a good time. I can’t count how many times we have all hung around at home eating, drinking coffee, watching television or simply talking about our days.

Like the verses from Ecclesiastes, we have a good return for our work when we do things together. We help each other up when we fall, we keep each other warm, and we defend each other.

I believe that Nancy and Ronnie and their family have been a gift given to us from God. Why? Because for three or four years Mark and I were “backsliders.” We still believed in God, but we didn’t practice what we preached. I had a ton of “friends” – people who were always willing to go out for drinks or to a party. The funny thing was that when Mark and I saw the error of our ways and turned back to Christ (who welcomed us back with open arms, by the way), all these “friends” decided we were “weird” and had turned into freaks.

This was a two or three years ago, and after some lonely days with only our family and our God to depend upon, God threw Nancy and I together. Although Nancy and I had known each other for years, we hadn’t had enough in common to become good friends. But God made sure that changed, and through our friendship, our husbands and children became great friends.

And so, this Thanksgiving weekend I counted Nancy and Ronnie among the many blessings that God has given my family.

“A friend loveth at all times…” Proverbs 17:17

Ronnie gives my youngest, Adam, a ride on one of the construction vehicles he runs for a living.

Mark takes off across the property on a go-kart.

Thanksgiving plans

Every year for the past several  years (since my mother became too sick to do it), I have hosted Thanksgiving dinner at my house for my brothers and their wives and kids. My mother passed away last year, and we continued the tradition last Thanksgiving. This year, however, my brothers suggested that we do something different. This year, my brothers and I are going out for Thanksgiving breakfast - no spouses or children invited.

On the one hand I'm sad that the whole family isn't getting together now that Mom is gone. On the other hand, I'm kind of glad not to have to cook for everyone this year. But after I thought about it, I realized I enjoy cooking Thanksgiving dinner, so I will be cooking at the house of a family that is great friends with ours.

Here are our Thanksgiving plans:

Wednesday - Thanksgiving dinner at MIL's house. All I have to bring is a pumpkin pie!

Thursday - Hubby working, I am just puttering around the house doing some baking with the kids. Also going to the church to finish making up the bulletin for Sunday.

Friday - Thanksgiving breakfast with my brothers. Might go to some Black Friday sales with them, also.

Saturday - Leaving for S.C. early in the morning. Will spend the day with our lovely friends and cook Thanksgiving dinner before leavng late that evening.

Sunday - Church!

By the way, one of my brothers just let me in on a tip. Here are a couple of Web sites you can go to and find the deals for all the stores: BlackFriday.info and Black Friday 2007