Finding Contentment

Getting my life back

Alisha is home! She improved rapidly once she got off life support and went home last night. They wanted to keep her longer because she had an elevated heart rate and developed a weird rash over her entire body. But she convinced them to send her home, and boy, am I glad.

Today at 2 p.m., I will be taking the kids to her. My heart is dancing with joy. Adding a newborn and a 2-year-old to our household on the spur of the moment just didn't work very well.

My husband isn't in a position to take his lunch to work right now, and in order to save money he has been skipping lunch. That means he is starving when he gets home. But since having the girls, I haven't been able to cook dinner very often. Hubby was understanding the first week, but the stress of the girls, his job, and his hungry stomach got the better of him this week and he has been hard to get along with.

My 4-year-old (the baby of our family) has been very jealous and has resorted to "baby" things in order to get attention. He talks baby talk now and is refusing to use the potty at all.

My 15-year-old daughter has been a great help. But the 2-year-old has been sleeping and playing in her room, and she is desperate to have her room back - and to be able to clean and have it still be clean five minutes later.

My 12-year-old is probably the least affected by the girls, but he is very affected by the lack of routine in the household since the girls arrived, as well as the tired attitudes of his parents!

And then there is myself. I love these girls, but I want my life back! I want to be able to sleep at night without having to wake up every two hours to fix a bottle or change a diaper. I want to be able to go pay bills or go to the grocery store when I need to. I want to be able to set a glass of Pepsi on the kitchen table without having the 2-year-old pick it up and spill it all over the floor. I want to be able to homeschool my children again. I want to cook, bake and can again. I want to weed my garden and spend more than a minute each day with my chickens. I want to be able to have a family reading time again. I want a clean house again. I want to have time to do Bible and devotions.

When I realized I wouldn't have the girls after today, I nearly cried with joy! I will still keep them sometimes, but not overnight. And not for weeks at a time. The last three weeks have seemed like an eternity, but I know it will pay off when I am standing outside those pearly gates giving an accounting of myself and reasons why I should reside with my savior for eternity. Not that I believe good works get us into heaven, I don't. But I do believe in judgment day, and I believe some of us will have mansions in heaven and some of us will not.

If I have been rambling, forgive me! Chalk it up to how tired I am. I must go now. I want to wash every piece of the girls’ clothing and blankets and go to the store and buy some new formula and diapers so my brother and his wife won't have to worry about it right off the bat. Thank you everyone for your wonderful thoughts, comments and prayers.

Maybe now I'll have time blog regularly again!

Congratulations....

03:17 PM, Thursday, September 27, 2007 .. Posted by Anonymous

Wonderful news for Alisha, I am sure she is just as ecstatic to be home as you are to to have your house back to normal. =)

What a great day

06:41 PM, Thursday, September 27, 2007 .. Posted by browns71280

What a great day it is for you and your family. In a couple of days, your lives will be back to a regular routine and your husband will have his belly full! I am so glad that your SIL is home and now has time to bond with the baby and get their lives back on track slowly. Don't try to do everything in one day or you might make yourself too tired to get done what you want.
Debbie

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09:45 PM, Thursday, September 27, 2007 .. Posted by Karen

Oh I can so relate to how you've felt! Keeping someone else's children is just different. Just plain different - even if they're family. I read your post tonight and I could easily say "Yep, understand that feeling. Yep, understand that. Yep, understand that...."

Hope you have a most wonderful evening!
Karen
http://thetagblog.blogspot.com/

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01:21 AM, Friday, September 28, 2007 .. Posted by FoggyMountainFarm

Wonderful news about her getting to go home!! I'm sure you all will get a good night sleep tonight. Continued prayers for her health.

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09:41 AM, Friday, September 28, 2007 .. Posted by serenityhomestead

God is truly amazing! I am so glad she is home. Thank you for checking in on me, you have no idea how much that means to me!! Praying for you all!

Jen