Be Ye Separate

A Father's Place

{ 11:30, Monday, June 9, 2008 } { Posted in From the Heart } { 2 comments } { Link }

Blessings!

As Father's Day fast approaches I have been pondering about the honor of a husband and father. We don't actually do much for these types of holidays but that's not really what this is about. I got to thinking about how I see many folks as a family unit. There are lots of "mainstream" families where the father is literally castrated by the wife and children. I even see parents doing the same to their sons! I find it such a sad thing to see a young boy taught to despise his own gender. Or reinforcing the idea that a husband is an inconvenience and toy. Both at the mercy of an overbearing and often merciless female. Sadly I have also seen daughters do the same to their fathers and brothers. What a state of chaos in the lives of God's children.

I got to thinking, as I my son and I were sharing a moment of gardening and work around this place. As I watch he and his wife share little stolen moments together in between work and responsibilities, I see that my husband and I have raised a good man who has chosen a good wife:)

I watch my daughters as they interact with papa and do things for him each day. Always wanting to please him and do things for him because they love him and respect his place in their lives. It warms my heart and makes God smile I am sure:)

Then I pondered further as I reflected on all the years of raising my boys. How papa was such a part of their lives. How he taught them to be men and how important their role is as a man in God's eyes, despite what the world teaches.

I began to think of all the little times that I had taken the time out to show my boys how to do something. How when they made mistakes we would "work through it" with them. When they neglected a responsibility, how we had gently reminded them and loved them and supported them as they took on the task (whatever it was) and completed it. How we saw them make mistakes that we "saw it coming" but they had to learn it on their own. When they were down on themselves for making those mistakes and feeling that they had been stupid in their choices and final decisions. How we built them up and let them know that we are all human and we all make mistakes and the most important thing is the love of a family who lives before God who will stand beside them and encourage them and support them until they "get it right".

Yesterday while we were out doing our auction stuff we sat behind a family. A wife, husband the three sons all in a row. Each time the man opened his mouth his wife would talk over the top of him and make remarks about his intelligence or choices. He went down to the kitchen and bought his boys a little snack and each a drink, and he brought her back something as well. Once the boys were settled in he gave her what he had bought for her and she complained bitterly about what he had done. That the boys were undeserving and they could have shared instead of had something individually. She complained about the pop being too icey and the snack he brought her wasn't her favorite. Not one thank you, not one pat on the arm or kind word. And later on when one of them made a mistake she was right there to let him know it was alright that things would get better.

I often wonder what women think when they are consoling their sons and helping them through the bad times but ignoring their own husbands when THEY make mistakes and go through bad times? I see it often and it saddens me.

Husbands have such a burden placed upon them and sometimes we think we should take everything else on to lighten their load but we forget to comfort and encourage. We can tend to get bitter about it without realizing that they didn't "give" it to us, we simply "took" it thinking that somehow that was helping rather than supporting him and encouraging him and letting him know that even though it seems overwhelming now, he is more than capable of fixing it of making it better and we will wait patiently and supportively until it turns around.

I always make sure that my husband knows that even when he makes mistakes that things will get better. That he's only humand and these things happen. That even if his choice WAS one that I might not have made, we will weather it out together and come out of it united. I want to encourage him like I encourage my sons. Letting him know that it will turn out one way or the other. I let him know that I recognize his attempt to do what he felt was right for us as a family or a couple or even for himself alone.

I just wanted to encourage each of you to recognize your husbands weaknesses and strengths. Encourage him no matter what he is doing or has done. Let him know that side by side you can get through anything. That his place in your life and the lives of your children is important and even if he makes mistakes you all love him and want to help him in any way possible even if it's just making sure his supper is on the table at the same time every day, or making sure his socks are matched up to save him a minutes time in the morning when he gets ready for work:)

I am so very blessed to have let go of a part of myself that was such a hindrance in my relationship with my sweet husband. Over the years I have not only come to appreciate and honor my husband in his role as husband and father, I have also come to appreciate and honor my own role as mother and wife:)

I pray that each of us is able to find that sweet place the Lord has given us as women:)

God be with thee!

Sister Lori

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{ 20:20, Monday, June 9, 2008 } { Posted by HandsNHearts }
I have been one of those women...and much to my shame, it can't be said it was all in the distant past either :o(
I truly truly truly don't think I went to the extreme the lady in your example at the auction has gone, but still, are there really varying degrees of utter disrespect and harshness? I don't think so really. It is what it is, there isn't a gray area to it. Much like sin...it is what it is. There aren't varying levels of sin...sin is sin is sin and that's that.

Thank you so much for sharing exactly what my heart has been whispering to me lately as I struggle to keep myself in check and push away the flesh side to lean heavily on the spiritual side. I have seemingly forgotten that I have put away that old man and found that new life...I truly am blessed by the reminder!

Deanna

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{ 13:20, Tuesday, June 10, 2008 } { Posted by rildapeel1 }
I do pray over my husband each night and he hears from my heart me telling Father Thanks for this unique man He brought into my life. My hubby has shown me God so many times with the way he shows me how he loves me. Thanks for your post for it is true that they do need encouraging words spoken to them for after all we are called to be encouragers not discourages. I trust hubbies judgement for he expects the best and bestest part of all he is a thinker and that leads to the truth. Thanks again. Have a blessed day!! lovingly, rilda *U*

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