Tuesday
Well today is my MOPS meeting and I really am struggling on whether I should be going. I have so much to do around here today. My one and only friend here in our new town is the person in charge and that is why I go. Don't get me wrong it's nice to sit down and relax for a while but I have homeschooling to do and laundry and cleaning. YIKES! Anyways, I haven't written on here for so long. I have a xanga blog I write on but this one I haven't been on for too long. So we are all doing good here. We're all moved into our new home and I'm loving it here. It's much easier on us all living here. The kids seemed to be adjusting pretty well and Brooke, my oldest, has even accepted the fact that we will be homeschooling her. She had attended kindergarten and first grade at public school. Yesterday I started a Bible study for Women on Fear. I really have had a hard time admitting I had fear issues. I guess my biggest fear is getting Cancer and leaving my husband and kids alone. I have Crohn's Disease and in the back of my mind I worry about health issues arising from that condition. I don't fear the act of dying or pain. It's just the fear of leaving them and knowing the pain it would cause. Plus I'm selfish. I want to see them grow up and pick their soul mates and be there when they have their babies. It's not something I dwell on daily mind you. Just every once in a while I go there and it really does a number on you. So the study talks about elm trees having roots as long as the trees are tall. It says how these sturdy elms can weather any storm because their roots (faith) is so strong. It also points out Jesus telling his disciples about having faith. I guess I lost some along the way. So this week I am continuing with my prayer and devotions specifically asking for help on fear. Maybe someone else has felt this way? Well, I'm off to make some banana bread and change my laundry. Have a great day!
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