Loving motherhood part 2! (see previous post for part 1)
I had lunch today with a long time friend. We were discussing this question and during our conversation I realized I need to approach this issue a little differently.
I want to better define my question: Do I love MOTHERHOOD? Basically, as a stay at home mom I feel that there is an unspoken rule that says that since I am a mom that it should be what fulfils me. That the role of motherhood is what should complete me. That being a mother is what should make me feel alive, inspired, enthused, passionate, and at total peace. As a stay at home mom I feel even more pressure to have my children be my sole purpose for my life. If they are the reason that I am staying home shouldn’t they be what makes my world go round?? Shouldn’t being a mother be a sheer delight to me??
I know that others might not feel that way, but when I read other blogs and forums I often feel that I don’t somehow measure up. Is there something wrong with me? Why isn’t motherhood the role/responsibility/blessing that fills my up?????????
Honestly, after lots of praying about this God has completely given me the answer………! NO human role or earthly thing will ever be all fulfilling!!! Only God can fill me up and create in me that “completely fulfilled and at peace” state. It is a spiritual issue…… My role of mother is a role that God wants me to walk, but it isn’t supposed to be a replacement for him. My marriage can’t replace Him, stuff/house/car can’t replace HIM and friends can’t replace HIM. Even service at church or with Bible studies can’t replace the need my spirit man has for HIM!!! Only when I am walking in relationship and communication with Jesus will my life be fulfilled.
OK……. In light of having God be my fulfillment… my peace… my joy…. My all…. Where do I go from here???? I still have a lot of shoes to fill…. Wife, mom, keeper of the home, $$$, and server. What is God’s plan??? Where does he want my focus??????
Tomorrow, I will go back to the “perfect” proverbs woman!! Till then, join me in praying that God will open our eyes to all the ways we try to find our fulfillment/joy/ peace/worth/reason for living. Am I looking for someone else to meet my inner most needs? Am I looking to the role of motherhood to make me feel complete? Am I seeking my marriage to make me whole? Am I filling my home with stuff that makes me happy for a little while but leaves me longing for more? Am I focusing my attention on my physical body expecting to some how reach a state of “beautiful” in order to be “good enough”??? Am I giving my life to my job/career in attempts to prove and earn my place?? What role/relationship/physical attribute/thing am I seeking and longing for to bring me to a state of complete satisfaction and fulfillment??
Motherhood is a vitally important role!!!! But It can’t be what I rely on (or expect) to give me inner peace and fulfillment. It isn’t ever going to be a continual source of joy and strength.
Please join me in prayer….
Father, I give you these questions and thoughts… please guide me to understanding your ways, your plan, your purpose. Open my eyes to all the ways I try to complete myself. Open my eyes to expectations I hold over other people to bring me happiness and fulfillment. Your word says if we will draw near to you you will draw near to us. Thank you for that promise and I choose right now to draw near to you! I desire to drink from your water, bask in the SONlight! In Jesus’ name! | 