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When our two married children got engaged, the couples got a Talk from my husband. This talk, he said, was guaranteed to eliminate forty-two arguments after marriage. It was the (Restaurant) Dessert Talk.
This was instruction to both the man and woman, for each has a part in making Dessert work. It is simply a matter of etiquette, but as you know, etiquette is a learned behavior.
Here is how the Talk goes: [to the woman]: Men will give a woman anything--he will slave at a hot job for her, he will give her his paycheck, his time, his very life--just don't ask for his Dessert. Men are territorial about their desserts. [to the man]: When you are at a restaurant, and the server asks if you will have dessert, your Lovely One may say, "oh, no, I'll just have a bite of yours." DO NOT BELIEVE HER--SHE IS LYING. She will wait until you have eaten all of the inferior edges off your dessert, and then ask for her bite--the best Middle Bite. Or, she will take the First Bite, and ask for more--she has discovered that she really does have Room for dessert. What you must do is order an entire dessert for her, too. [back to the woman]: If you really want to score points with your man, take your own dessert, eat a bite or two, and then offer the rest to him. Then he has almost two desserts!
The first time dh gave the all-important Talk, it kind of backfired. Our son came to us a couple of weeks later, and said, Dad, I did what you told me, but Ashley didn't play fair. She got her own dessert and then SHE ATE THE WHOLE THING HERSELF!! Oh, well, as you know, a woman needs dessert, too, sometimes.
I picked up my ds11 from an afternoon at a friend's, and decided to stop at Cracker Barrel for their great strawberry shortcake. Now, I had already shared one of these with dh, and with my dd13, too, with much success. Ds and I had our [quite large] dessert in-between us, and two spoons, and went at it. I could not believe it--he was wolfing that thing down faster than I could get my spoon to my mouth. Now, this dessert has two pieces of "cake" and two scoops of ice cream, and he kept poaching in my territory. When it was over, I felt....hungry.
Somebody has got to have the Talk with this boy. And probably a few [hundred] times before he gets engaged. But until he does, I will be sure to order him his own dessert. Because what I forgot when I decided to have this lovely Mother/Son moment, is that he is Eleven, and even Eleven-year olds who know the rules, are overtaken by their natures, and that is a place where Dessert Etiquette cannot be found. |
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