in Family Life - Post Comment
Lately I've been re-thinking my position on letting my kids tell me about the bad things others in the house are doing. In the past, I had heard people talk about not allowing their kids to tattle and I've been kind of negative on my older kids when they've told me the bad things the younger ones are doing. Sometimes they tell these things to get them in trouble, or the things they tell me aren't really that bad or important.
More recently I've been realizing a lot of my not wanting them to tattle has been more of a not wanting to deal with their misbehaviors on my part. I've seen how this has caused my oldest son to be resentful of them because of the things they get away with. I've realized that I need to truly "crack down" on their behaviors. Typically my oldest son truly has good intentions when he tells most things. He really wants the best for them or is frustrated by the things they're doing.
I now feel bad about how I've dealt with things and have apologized to him. I'm hoping to have more of a balanced approach of letting him tell me things they do and dealing with them. I sense that as I persist in this, their behavior which has become more out of control, will improve greatly.
I also have sensed that I need to have them closer by me - especially the younger ones, so that I can catch problems sooner and am more aware of everything that is happening. It's easy to want to send them off to play together, but I'm seeing now that this has been a cause of many troubles and frustrations. So it's time to get to work in dilligently training my children, time to keep them near - not selfishly desire peace and quiet away from them while they play, and time to lean on the Lord and his wisdom.
I have that longing for peace and quiet too, but the littles really do get into a good deal of trouble when they're not underfoot :D As for the tattling, we use the Matthew 18 principal...confront your sibling first and come tell me if they don't change their ways. I know of a family who always made the would-be-accusing sibling bring the other sibling and give them the opportunity to confess first. Anyway, I think the Matthew 18 thing gives our kids tools for problem solving and cuts down on the tattling some too.
Thanks for the encouragement to be diligent with training our children!
The one thing that drove me crazy with my younger brothers was constant tattling. You could never tell who started what.
My son is 15mo with another due in November, I know that's early, but I purchased a "Brother Offended" booklet that covers how to Biblically deal with tattle-telling. I didn't know there was such a thing! It gives me hope. Maybe I'll get it this coming week. :)
Also I am following quite a few of the methods on the "Growing Godly Tomatoes" website (the link is on my blog) which in itself I feel has done away with many of the issues I could be facing. *But* I have no idea if that will help with the tattling department or not?? So I still ordered that pamplet I mentioned!
Our Journey Into The Country - A Faith Walk